All Comments on 'A Bargain Ch. 07'

You fucked up what started out as good erotic story. Then you left your talent in the toilet.

I liked this one a lot. Good one, Leo. The first chapters were very hot, a kind of fantasy-fullfilled story. The last chapter was a 'cheater/revenge' kind of story. They both worked.

very, very good ending. no cuck, no insta heal - even 5 years later and married to a truly wonderful woman it bugs and hurts!

i agree that the real bargain is Diane. and you got the whole cheat/confrontation/mourning & recovery and the later life written very well into one chapter.

That's what cheating really is...selfish self gratification and rarely concealed sadism for the mate, AND the co-conspirator.

As for the fellow who didn't like the story? Don't read what you don't like...as for the eloquence of his words? Parallels the validity of his view, and the depth of his intellect.

Thanx Leo...great one once again. You don't write nearly often enough, but when you do...it's a gem.

Great stuff. A wonderful read.

Very neat wrap-up. Yes he got the better bargain, but it is not obvious until the end. Davis is right to describe Jenn as a cheater from the beginning, selling her body for the exam answer. However, it is not clear that Dianne is much better, having sex with her roomates boyfriend and hiding it. Both of them just wanted the guy for his love making skills, Jenn just found someone even better. Dianne seems to make the most sensible choice. A life with a good lover who is reasonably faithful over a life of sex shows with a brutish stud is a no-brainer. Dianne just seems more clever, waiting for Jenn to self destruct and then stepping in to pick up the pieces. Someone that clever would be likely to always be looking for a better deal and likely to find one, ending up dumping the guy also.

It was reasonable to inject some consequence to your story - it gave it and you credibility that justice although slow was metered out by her actions.

However, it was displeasing that he considered seperate sexual liasons for them with other lovers resembling what she did to him. Puzzling - Perplexing - Non-sensical given what preceeded. Bad taste. Why Jepordize? It added nothing positive or erotic - stupidly sick is what it seemed.

I can see why it's at the top of this category; I thought it was great =) I read it for research on how to write better stories for this category, but I don't know if I'd ever be able to step up to the plate with you!

*hugs*

Yes, you were lucky you found where the bargain was.

opu89io

Good work. Very therapeutic. What a great balance of tension and release -- especially as their marriage matures. Isn't any couple looking for the tension that these two create? Swinging is like trying to maintain that tension of emotion fresh but these two are both so "Alpha" that they make the perfect team and stay in line without the need to cheat or swing and know exactly what the other is capable of so there is no need to cheat to find out.

well, it was far more different than i thought it would be... the whole story i mean... it became boring and everything seems to be the same... though i learned something which will never make me forget your story "never get in to something you know you can lose control of"

Excelent story. I can relate but without the comfort of a Dianne. Please continue to write. You have something to say in each of your stories.

A great story, because the fucking was so, so delayed. In most stories, the author is too quick to let his main characters do it. The tantalizing delay here was terrifically sexy. And I loved watching Jenn "come out" at poolside.

That was a fantastic story, not only erotic and arousing but it was also real - close to the bone. Emotion was involved just as much as lust... Top class writing.

Don got the best deal that love can beat and Dianne is the deal she gave him more love than Jenn ever could ever give him all Jenn could give is heartache but Dianne gave life long happiness.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga.

the idea of the various sexual beliefs and activities that eventually led her astray (be the point where she quit her graduate teaching job to become a prostitute in an adult dance/pick up place), an astray from which he's not willing to take her back, right?

but he's saying if his wife, Diane, wanted to have sex with another man, that he's okay? (but he just has no needs to try another woman?),,, hm,,, this must be another bit white man trained with navy SEAL! lol

Fantastic- keep up the terrific writing my friend.

What an ending. A little unbelievable but still amazing.

This is the first time I've ever commented on a submission, but I felt it was worth it! Numerous times, I've tried to read the "novellas" on LitErotica, and find myself not reading past the first chapter beecause they're poorly written, too fake, or too...I don't know, but there's always something. At first, I hated it. Don was completely taking advantage, being an out-and-out manipulative jackass. I'm not sure at what point I started to like him. Perhaps it was as he was when he admitted he was falling in love. Perhaps it was his reaction towards Jenn wanting to fuck her old boyfriend. I'm not sure, but I just kept on reading!! Never before have I cried while reading an erotic story, and somehow that emotion just added to the orgasmic heat! I fully intend to read every story of yours, but not until I buy myself a better "Donnie"! ;)

I've never commented on a story here before. Ever. And I read a lot of them. ;)

Often times, the novellas, although terrific at serving their purpose when standing alone, lack something in continuity. It's not that I don't necessarily enjoy them, but there's no compulsion to keep reading. The sex scenes were hot, my hand's wet, and it's time to move on.

This story in its entirety is different. The sex was still hot, but it truly became a vehicle to move the plot forward rather than being the focus. From a literary point of view, it's got promise.

In a word, I am impressed.

Wow, let me start off by saying that this lead me to 10 orgasms, the whole story. I've never stayed wet for so long. I couldn't live without finishing this story. This was amazing and I never ever expected for Jenn to cheat or for you to marry Dianne. Best of luck on life!

Sad sh*. The dreams presented here does not include love, how many times you ever try to write that word my friend. I'm thinking that you must be missing out on a lot of things to believe this to be credible. Cheers Yoron.

Best sex story I have ever read.

amazing. so sad, but incredibly erotic, can't believe people would have so much sex! unbelievable

All the main character does is bemoan and cry what a pitiful story.

I loved this story, I absolutely loved it ! I hope to find my Dianne one day. Find a producer, make this into a movie !!!

Great story and an excellent ending. Wish I could find a devious little minx like Dianne. She was the true hero of this story.

she a closet whore and he talking about is it my fault.give me a break.some writers are so senitive they write gay.

I loved this story. It was erotic and yet so emotional.

I think this was the best love story I ever read, really. Thank you!!

Wow... this was one of the greatest stories ever. I should have known Don and Dianne would end up together. There was just too much chemistry for that to NOT happen, even in just the reading.

It was a very good story. Will there be a continuation?

This author is a master of telling a tale, creating wonderful and believable characters, and describing exquisite HOT sex. What a great talent!

too much crying. Are there men like that?

One of the worst on this site !

Dont listen to the haters this story was amazing! This story was extremely sexy and although the last chapter wasn't the same as the others, it was far and away my favorite. Ever since Jenn went to the pool I knew something like this would happen but the way you told the story made it so awesone. Keep up the good work :)

I don't understand the comments of the people condemning this story. I also don't understand the superlative comments from the other side. The story doesn't exactly suck, it's not that good, but it doesn't exactly suck. The plentiful praise from the approving side makes me wonder, did these people read this thing? Overall, it lacked a lot being really bad. But again, it lacked a lot being really good. I would dare say it will never make it to the bargain section of the Sunday paper. It just weren't a bargain I guess. I do note a sweet little Mazda RX7 for a good price in section B, maybe that will be a bargain. Maybe there will be a bargain on Kleenex for the wimp crybaby, he needs to think Gatorade to rehydrate himself after his crying jags

Excellent story.

The one major theme in this whole story is sex and lust and the evaluation of all it's aspects. The author lets lust and sex drive some of the major characters and he let's us believe that a cock that is 1/2 inch longer and larger (without specially how much larger oddly) can make a woman and possibly many women become addicted to it.

Science portrays a slightly different story, first women receive orgasms mainly from clittoral stimulaltion and in most intercourse the penis action does not stimulate the clittoris at all.Plus a a penis with a larger radius would provide a full feeling but only slightly since the vagina accomodates to the size of whatever is inserted. If the fullness feeling were actually sexuall pleasurable the certainly the most such pleasure for a woman would occur during childbirth which it certainly does not.

The fullness feeling porvides at best minimal sexual pleasure to a woman certainly not addictive and probably not a goal to be chased.

For people who are well adjusted and not dysfunctional in any way the act of love making during sex is the best experience possilble (ideally both people fee love for each other).

All that said this is a quite different story in this category and ends with good solid science.

You did a good job w/the female protagonist lead change. I read story by another author on here who attempted the same thing and let me tell you it was terrible. I think your story works because it was something you introduced as a part of Jenn's character early on so when she did what she did it didn't seem far fetched. It's hard to pull off & I think you did a better then decent job w/it. congrats.

I enjoyed the story, and the various characters.

All

I can say is great story

Well deserved 1* !

I saw Jenn's fate coming when they were in the cabin. No way she'd turn out any differently. I just didn't think it'd happen in such a haunting and disturbing fashion. Clever and inventive end for a sadly twisted individual. Won't soon forget this one, although in a way, I'd like to - - Jenn's choices and betrayal evoked some powerful emotions.

this has become sci-fi, total bullshit. I give you 2/5 only because the sex is hot.

Is this the true story of your life?. Loved it. As a story. I felt hurt myself

I was surprised to read negative comments on this series following chapter 4. Leo Davis has accuracy, insight and sensitivity to the broader human condition which comfortably transcend those of most of the authors on this site. This is a well written and very moving story about real people - and it's drop-dead erotic in places, as well.

Please stop calling it a dork, it sounds so silly and ruined the immersion every time I saw the word, I really think you should edit the chapters and call it what it is, a dick.

Dictionary.com says that dork was originally a slang term for penis.

I was intrigued to keep going to the end, including some 5 stars. However the last chapter was too far out for me. There was already unrealistic sex, but it got so extreme with the oversized "dork" and the preposterous sex club with the outrageous dick and orgasms, erc. Not erotic/arousing.

LeoDavis has tendency to write excellent stories, then mess them up at the end. But not always.

Paul in Oklahoma

I would have liked to hear what happened to Jenn. Did she end up dried up and regretting her life choices? Did she have any feelings for him at all? Still a good 4 stars.

Except for the swinging thoughts,.not bad.

"I caught her fucking another guy who was bigger and better than I was." I said, and then I started to cry again"

fuck..this wimp moron was having an issue that she fucked someone bigger & better then him...ohhh..not that she fucked someone other then him!..his next wife should remember this..he is a cuck waiting to happen! what a piss ass wimp

Umm the mega cock trope is tiresome. From what was described, the guy is literally like 1 in a hundred million. And yet Jenn runs into him. She is an addict. Good thing before marriage. Dianne was a real loving wife and she rehabilitated. But what is all this cat and mouse game about her opening the marriage and swinging? They talk about it on and off for 20+ years and he is ready to acquiesce the next time she asks. But she never asks. Huh? This is despite him being rigid of NOT swapping.

A penis wider than a coffee mug? Lol. Another stupid freakishly massive cick trope. She gets raped and suddenly addicted. Another trope. That girth is beyond the Guinness book of world records. Just like the 14 inch cocks in other LW stories. Meh whatever. And then all thr back and forth about swinging. Yeah real love. Again whatever.

The super thick dick element was moronic. Jenn had serious mental health problems to get viciously raped and then somehow enthralled to asshole's super thick pernis. Not only is a penis an inch thicker than a coffee mug ludicrous and as rare as a unicorn, but it would hurt unbelievably bad for a way for than a couple of sessions. Most women would never adapt to that let alone get pleasure from it. That is thicker than most people's fists. Laughably dumb use of the mega dick trope. Whatever. He ended up with Dianne. Not sure why so many commenters bash Dianne. She has been faithful and is upfront and honest. After more than 22 years (5 + 17), the MC is ready to let her have a night with another man if she asks. She hasn't. And meanwhile he has no interest in sleeping with another woman. They are happy. And Dianne is sensitive to his moods. If they tried anybswinging, Dianne is the analytical one and would not be like Jenn. She values her husband's love and her family. She may never ask. And if the MC balked either before or after a one night stand with another man, she would shut it down. Moreover, she would assess the risks. Her marriage and family is worth far more than sex with another person. While it isn't my cup of tea, if both agree, then that isntheir business. And more importantly Dianne will be sensitive to her husband's feelings and any insecurities that might develop. She will be in control. Remember she loses control with her husband because of her love for him. But she would not lose control like Jenn with another man to put her marriage at risk. That is clear. At that point they are adults. Can imagine that if she asks, and hubby agrees, she won't go through with it unless she is certain he is OK with it. If she goes ahead and she sees that he refuses to sleep with another woman, regardless of how good the extramarital sex is, she will pull back and reassess because the last thing she will risk is her husband's love and their family. Maybe not perfect, but the MC could do much worse.