The story reads ... "He was on top of her. She held his penis and inserted it into her vagina. She jerked as he pressed, and then subsided. She held him tight with arms and legs entwined as he had his orgasm. Arjun did not know if she had one. They lay on her for a while, and then he rolled over. They lay hugging each other"
Hmm... I think this story could use a little more narritive to flesh out this very non-erotic paragraph.
Leaving too much to the readers imagination.
The story reads ... "He was on top of her. She held his penis and inserted it into her vagina. She jerked as he pressed, and then subsided. She held him tight with arms and legs entwined as he had his orgasm. Arjun did not know if she had one. They lay on her for a while, and then he rolled over. They lay hugging each other"
Hmm... I think this story could use a little more narritive to flesh out this very non-erotic paragraph.
Great writing style
combining humour along
with inisightful glimpses
into social traditions
and changes taking place
smartly written...the sex could be more lucid...
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