- All
Comments (8) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
average!
In the first paragraph, you talk about your "baby sister," then, in the third paragraph, you say your sister is two years older than you. Keep the chronological ages the same, or get an editor. And, you had some grammatical mistakes!! Please, please get your act together, then maybe your stories will be believable.
yaawwnnnn
Too much wham-bam, not enough erotic.
Stan
You People Kill Me
You morons act like you're reading classic literature or something, this is porn you assholes. Get your self-important asses back down to earth. Good job Brett.
bravo
well done.
Would have liked "public' scene carried farther
You story was definitely good, but I was disappointed because we were given the impression some public play was going to happen and then nothing, they went back to their room. For two people you say are into "risk", that was a let down.
"baby" sister
Who cares if she was 2 years younger or older - it was a very sensual and erotic story anyway - give us more
more
needs more so the parents can find out and she can get pregnant
typical
yet another writer that screws up the facts and rushes story then lets his EGO keep him from using a good editor. real shame all his stories need a total rewrite and a good editor.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Ski Lodge Vacation or
More submissions by BrettJ.