All Comments on 'The Runesmith Chronicles Ch. 11'

I have had an idea. The idea is crazy. The idea (since its coming from me) is also probably stupid and against the rules as intended, because I can get very power gamey with I'm very focused and fascinated by a subject. But I am very committed to your beautiful world and am very eager to read more of Your writing. If you like the idea, please take any and/or all pieces of it that interest you. Or discard it wholesale if you don't like it. I just hope not to dissuade you from it, if you had already considered it and perhaps were even planning it already. Because if it was already your idea, it's frickin awesome.

Thank you, thank you. Loving the beautiful magic of your world, make Haste in continuing your writing. Which is to say, take as long as it needs to be completed correctly according to you and that loveable big blue ogre over your shoulder.

It makes a good read without the sex. May want to consider a PG version, as well, if you go to print. 😀

I want to offer my thoughts on this chapter. That is how I see it as I read it. I hope this is what you intended for your readership to get out of the chapter.

I especially like the way Kal is exploring new concepts of magic and not just repeating what he’s learned. The analogy of the sandstorm was interesting and his approach to making it work then experimenting with a rabbit really got me wondering what else is he going to figure out. I can only guess that he will have failures from time to time as well. What kind of repercussions will those bring?

I thought the part with the midwife was extremely good. The wisdom of someone who has seen more of life and death being imparted to Kal, outstanding! That’s a lesson he should be reminded of from time to time. If at some point he is to take a life, be it in self defense, anger, out of love, revenge, or whatever the context, he’s going to remember both Ikuno’s and the midwife’s words. Having said that, the context that he takes a life will be important.

I thought about suggesting something I saw in the movie, Good Will Hunting. It’s the scene where Robin Williams and Matt Damon where sitting outside after Matt Damon’s character got Robin to explode in a session. Robin goes on to explain that while Matt can recite all kinds of things, is incredibly knowledgeable, and knows how to apply that knowledge, he is still, in fact, just a kid who’s not yet expirenced life yet. I kinda see that with Kal. He’s just now learning how others see him as a healer and how people are somewhat taking advantage of this. But also in the one scene, when he described wearing the black cloak, how people fear him as a mage. How will that affect his identity? Will he start to become cynical, withdraw from offering help unless it’s life threatening, or is this something that he has yet to identify as an issue yet?

Perra is obviously displaying her jealousy for Kal. It seems like they are playing high school games with Perra liking Kal but not doing anything about it and Kal knowing she likes him, but he too is not doing anything about it. I kept expecting some kind of explosion to happen with Kahrin and Petra started with calling her a “hussy”, but then you diffuse the situation with Kahrin’s family history and her say that she’s not here to steal Kal from Perra. Is this how Perra going to overcome her jealous thoughts? Of course I’m waiting patiently to learn what other things Petra will bring to the story. Not a criticism.

In Kal’s telling about his father to Ikuno several things caught my attention. (1) While there’s some new background about Kal and his family, his father’s side is still a mystery. Is there something in his father’s side that will come into play later in the story? (2) This part in the scene:

“Once they were married it was four long years of waiting and worrying that either father's seed was weak, or mother was barren before I came along." Ikuno's sharp look and wide eyes went unnoticed by Kal as he was too engrossed in his tale.

What did Ikuno’s reaction mean? Her look is in response to the difficulty of his parents having Kal. Is there some kind of important detail here that I’m just not getting? It’s before he mentioned the werewolf, so I don’t think it’s about that.

The scene with the butterfly girl was a good self learning experience for Kal too. To me, it shows that he will not tolerate being attacked or taken advantage of by monster girls regardless if it’s in their nature. He will demand civility. But I wonder if there’s a monster girl out there that he just won’t get along with. 🤔 Obviously, he’s left quite the impression on Bea and I can’t wait to see what their next encounter will be like.

And lastly. I noticed that Ikuno said this:

"Are you ok Ikuno?"

"I'm fine, Kal. I'm just a little sad and a little envious."

"Why's that?"

"Because this can never be the real thing for us," she said running her fingers over her belly, "immortals can't bear children. If we could our numbers would quickly overrun the world. That's not necessarily true we can have offspring but not with humans only other spirits similar to ourselves. This feeling is as close as I will come to Aradelle and any other women you have children with."

IKUNO IS IMMORTAL! SHE CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN! Just like the first generation of monster girls. I remember that she said that she wasn’t one of the original Monster Girls, but this had me wondering all the same. Every one lies. There’s always a reason for their lies. And Ikuno’s and Kal’s relationship is not at the point where she would just spill every secret she has. Just saying...

That’s it. Thank you again Bludraygn for your work and posting it.

Sincerely and Respectfully,

JAFCritic

How could skip the sex scene where inflation comes into play and just tell it in one sentence. I've seen many authors skip sex scenes that should have been explicit 100%, but this has been the most frustrating one.

Don't forget she's still under age. Even if he wasn't an upstanding gentleman, because of the compatibility spell Ikuno cast on Kal, he can't even think of sex with a minor without his dick disappearing. I predict some serious fireworks when she turns 18.

Nice ,nice ,nice still he got to be with a Butterfly girl and scarerd her but she will return :)

Great chapter. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Kal is a bitch

Imagine a pollen doing that. You'd be a billionaire and Earth's population would double.

Great character progression, love how the MC is learning and growing.

👍 👍

Watching Kal discover more about his magical talents is interesting. After my USAF career, I became an educator. Small wonder as 2 of my dad's siblings, and my dad, and his mother were all teachers. Between us, we covered K thru 12, Junior College, and Major University levels. One of the neat aspects of teaching is watching your students develop their minds, especially when they get to the point of integrating concepts in new configurations to create new concepts and applications. I remember somewhere along about 6th or 7th grade where I had something of a similar breakthrough marrying up my curiosity with my reading ability. By the time I got to high school, I was racing ahead of my contemporaries in the STEM areas because of connecting those worlds together in my head. I loved (and still do) science fiction (cut my teeth on Asimov's, Pohl, Heinlein, Burroughs, etc.) and fantasy (LeGuine, Lovecraft, Poe, Verne, et al). I saw those genres as two branches of the same vine -- fantasy being the projection of magic into reality, and science taking today's knowledge and projecting it into the future, letting the mind run wild, and seeing what could happen. Someone much smarter than I (Carl Sagan, perhaps) said that any sufficiently advanced technology appears as magic to the unprepared mind. I marvel at those who can take those concepts and turn them into theoretical constructs such stories as 'The Runesmith Chronicles.' I am one of the types that can imagine new things and apply them today's reality to improve physical skills, specifically inflying airplanes or, in my younger days, playing basketball or triple jumping.

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Enough rambling. On to enjoying the story!