All Comments on 'Once Upon A Time In California II'

I've read much of your work, Jasper, and this could have been one of your best if you had taken the time to punctuate, and checked your spelling. As it is, it is very hard to read, and many won't, because you didn't show you cared for it yourself.

it is vitally important that we

remember poetry is not always about correct grammar, puncuation

or even perfect language itself.

sometimes it is about pure feeling.

This poem is superb, for all its errors in

langauage etc.

This poem is felt, and reads as though it simply spilled itself.

sometimes that is exactly how it should be.

And I do not doubt he cares about it, the poem itself screams that out.

I will not say I 'liked' it, that would be far too weak.

It would be a greater compliment to say it made me taste hate. Far More importantly, for this poem, I FELT IT..

powerful, powerful poem.