All Comments on 'The Storm'

I loved your story - really well written - raw and sexual

Mirriam

Great Tale. Full of suspense and hot sex. It always had me on edge. I loved it. Great Job!

You choose a name like angel in disguise which has such a mysterious lilt to it and then your writing while flows well there is nothing to match that feminine lilt.

One commenter stated it was a "raw" story another word for that would be unskilled in a negative sense. You had such a great opportunity to capture the sensuality of a storm in every way, but never got past an esthetic touch.

Try rewriting the first paragraph or drop me a note and we can compare how it could be written many ways to make it and your story so much better. It takes inspiration and work to create stories that transend the common posting to one which truly moves the descriminating reader.

But you rushed the story. Let it develop, and if you let it develop, it will be great story. The middle third of the story was rushed. Relax and take your time. Ronnie W.

Hahaha i loved the contrast of this story to the others i've read of your's. This was fast and harsh and definatly what they had in mind when they created the genre of "Thriller". I loved the last exchange too haha made me laugh. Please for the love of god keep writing, and maybe, just a lil' for me. =D

I really really liked this. Well done