All Comments on 'A Loving Wife Dies: Painful Truths'

by ohio

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AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Much Better!!!

This is how a story ends!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Gee Lets see??

If he had this kind of attitude during the marrige, does anyone really wonder why she went out to find love anywhere else she could. Of course she could have divorced him--like the catholic church loves that idea.

His children disown him so he can sit alone with his self-pity and hate on the family holidays and bemoan his life.

Why does the movie 'Twelve Angry Men' spring to mind. Okay, they are not a jury--but I bet they are more than a little pissed.

Your overall writing was not bad technically, but other than pure animal emotion, there was no development of what the main character would do. Evem though you are building off H2Owaders' story, you should still explain your characters reactions. How did he find out, did Father Martin break the covenant of the confessional? Why did he choose the church and funeral to do it? What other options did he consider?

Lastly, did you ask permission to change his storyline. I hope so. JimDinMN

wetapapwetapapover 18 years ago
this is why

you are bookmarked in the top teir of my authors. excellent work. but H20wader is listed there with the rest of you. thumbs up to both of you.

Nightowl22Nightowl22over 18 years ago
To forgive is divine

It might be a little bit hard in a case like his one.

She really lived a lie and he never found out, all those years!!

LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
Excellent Finish

An excellent alternative to a sadly painful story; stripping away lies and illusions and making all see the result of their hateful ways.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Well done.

SO it is HIS fault his wife slept around. And the correct thing to do is to roll over and play dead. What a crock of shit. His wife cheats on him repeatedly for 45 years, tells all his friends, EVEN HIS KIDS, that she is fucking around with his permission yet her deathbed confession is supposed to evoke what emotion, love? Compassion? The only thing this guy did wrong was not to notice the cheating during the marriage. The anger was justified.

Why is it in these stories that if the man stands up for himself he is wrong in the eyes of some of the idiots who comprise the literotica universe.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
nice change to original

Don't know which I like better. One is bitter and one is bitter-sweet. They are both good in there own way.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Outfuckingstanding

Now the poor scmuck maybe can get himself a new wife and life, and let the bastard kids find their own fucking identity with their newfound knowledge about their real daddies identities. Maybe he can even get Rachel to suck his cock or fuck her in the ass.

how a story like this should end. the fucking priest was probably knocking the bottom out of it too.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
great

now maybe since he knows rachel is not his maybe he can fuck her now....that would be great ... i would cut them all out of my will ...id give it to charity before id give it to some body elses kids... well unless rachel fucks him then maybe he can marry her and they can have kids so he really has someone to give it to ....i hope his wife of 45 years burns in hell as he said.. and that stupid preacher also ...gee he must have been stupid not to notice ...his brother ..i would tell him to go t ohell also and if he had a wife id try tofuck her till i died also ...all without speaking to my dear old bro ever again ...what a crock . i hope all the wifes of the ones he named divorces their asshole hubbys and takes them to the cleaners... maybe he can now also fuck all their wives ...gee why now that they are old and ugly ..would have been much better 45 years ago...if she wasnt dying id kill the bitch

ChagrinedChagrinedover 18 years ago
Can't say as I appreciated it...

but having read it I feel obliged to comment. The writing was good, emotions were raw and right at the top. Techically a very good piece. However, I do feel that I have to give it a 100% because of that but I am saddened by the fact that the man is such a tortured and bitter man. I hear bitter and tortured souls on earth fare no better in our real home.

First, if he can't forgive, he won't be forgiven. So he better hope there isn't a "biblical" God. I do agree with one thing, telling his wife he hopes she burns inhell told more about his character and capacity for love than her infidelity.

Second, was destroying all those other peoples lives atone for his pain? From the men he named in church to the Father? (Actually this seems to be closet Catholic bashing). Don't get me wrong, I understand it and maybe I woudl hav donethe same. But lets face facts, he has pretty much damned himself as well as his wife.I hope they don't get adjoining furnaces! LOL!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
An Interesting Ending And

it is as emotionally true as H20wader's except the husband has a stronger physical constitution.

Is the ending as satisfying as the original? Not sure. It vents the anger that would be more than natural. Martha, with Fr Martin's help, really fucked over Max one last time---put yourself in Max's shoes---the pain would be unbelieveable. Even anger doesn't lessen it. The psychological torture!

And, I know it is a try at being humorous---about fucking Rachel and having her suck Max's cock----this humor comes from a fantasy world, or maybe an inexpressible frustration with the circumstances of the story. Would Max even be thinking about having sex? Having sex! He would probably go to a monastery except that he is almost as angry with the Catholic Church and the bozo representative of it in this story. I see Max as a defeated man. There would be a lot of empty-looking out windows. Tears? He would cry so many there wouldn't be any left. Suicide? A possibility. What could life hold? Wouldn't he think everything is a sham?

I like---in a perverse way, I guess---the emotions that these stories dreg up. The situations are soap-opera-ish but they tap into basic emotions and drives in the human psyche. A psychologist would have a ball with the authors and readers of these stories. These stories fill some kind of need. I guess the need varies with the individual. I have no desire to read bondage stories, but I look forward to the variations on these human scenarios---not the "wow, I like to watch my wife getting fucked by 21(to use an arbitrary number) black men with 24 inch cocks" stories (reader, if you are black, substitute 21 white men). Sometimes I say "are we all nuts?" A lot of times the answer is yes.

playingcardcompany

romaq7705romaq7705over 18 years ago
perfect

much better ending. thanks

DoctorWyldcardDoctorWyldcardover 18 years ago
And the debates continue.

Great 'alternative ending' Ohio. Great!

Now on to points made by others and that I want to say something about...and I will take it from the 'top' with the oldeest ones first.

1)ok you have just found out from your wife that

a: she's NEVER been faithful to you

b: your children are not yours, she ON PURPOSE had kids with other men

c: she lied and told EVERYONE to hid it from him as he WANTED IT THAT WAY

d; and the ONLY reason you are learning this is cause she wants into heaven.

oh yeah I would be jsut happy and loving to her. Come here baby so I can take this dagger out of my back and put it in your rib cage.

Anon...would YOU have been happy at that time?

and as to how he found out...did you read story one? SHE TOLD HIM!!!

*slams head on table*

ok, ans as for the funeral. he's been publicly humilitaed and cuckolded for YEARS so why not. Put them in his shoes if even jsut a bit.

And what other options were there? maybe make copies of the letter and give it to the families?

2: yes Nightowl to forgive is divine but on the scale of crimes I think she was near the top if not at the top.

3: ok the having his 'daughter' be his sex thing was bit sick if you ask me. but that's my opinion.

4: Chagrined, my brother in arms against crap here, I think that he really jsut wanted SOME measure of vindication and revenge. Was he damned to hell...maybe, depends on your views, but someoone has to pay and she was dead. And he gets the pain to live with.

Does anyone think that he will last much longer with this pain?

5: and I like your view point on this, 'interesting ending" Anon, damn you need NAMES.

The priest selfishly helped her 'screw' him ONE LAST TIME. bastard. Hey no REAL priest 'I' have known would have told her to do that.

ok my things.

Damn she was a concided selfish little thing wasn't she?

Great daughter though.

The only thing I would have liked would have been for maybe the Daughter to confront the mother one last itme. For the mother to SE what a bitch she is.

But that's me.

Great job!

Why do I now have an idea of a tale with both of them out side the pearly gates? >;)

Now ohio, what's next on your plate?

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
interesting

Wyldcard's comments pretty well address the major points.

As an alternate ending, it's a good piece of work. It shows some very logical emotion and consequent results.

Should ("should") life work out that way? That's a philosophical question. I will submit this thought for consideration: Sometimes, the most appropriate act of contrition is NOT to make disclosure, but to cease the undesireable behavior and to be burdened with the secrets of an ugly past. To put it another way, there are instances in which confession (to a spouse/etc) serves only to make the perpetrator feel better, at the cost of making the offended miserable. True compassion (despite the weight of an ever-looming specter of discovery) would be to provide the offended with a life of happiness. Thus, the pain of past indiscretions is borne by the offender, not the innocent.

Wow! Who ever knew that Literotica could get so philosophical?!

-- KVK

gizzmo301gizzmo301over 18 years ago
Good but

Good but very painful story. No winners in this one

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
The original was poorly plotted and this

naturally flows down the same shit path. Why bother writing another ending for such a weak beginning? The origial concept was depressing and this just increases the depths of human degradation. Write your own, brighter, far more enjoyable stories!

batjac69batjac69over 18 years ago
Never read the first

I never read the first post of this, so I will limit my review to what you posted. It was uncluttered, moved fast, touched raw emotions that would spill out at a funeral in revenge and I liked what is here.

I would have written a few things different, but that is a writer's choice. This is good literature, not erotic, but one of the best posts on here in a number of months.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Once Denied and Finally Allowed To Vent

Excellent well written conclusion Author - much more favorable than the original without his day in court. Each provoking much emotion as they should but ohio did it in a more rewarding and fair fashion than dying miserably alone of heartbreak.

I confess that I don't understand reader commented thought or rationality at times. Most accept the notion that "what goes around comes around" as a leveling force in humanities inappropriate actions. In it's simplicity of justice seemingly attainable in no other way possible, it seems to work in many or most cases to some content of the offended.

How then are the comments of some perversely holier than thou to be interpreted. Was it better dead and buried with the unholiest wife in history and him to stomach the devious deviant complicit actions of those behind who now know that he wasn't a weak pitiful self cuckolding pervert?

If he had no other purpose, it was to regain some precious self respect for himself in his and others eyes. Secondly as part of that process of healing thyself first, to expose the complicit from the shadows into the glare of thier spouses, family and neighbors who brought him such deviantly unrational but avoidable shame.

So Author thank you - for causing the "come around" pendulum to swing fairly and justifiably to help him deal with the rest of his life such as they left it.

With the Highest Regard for you ohio - more please!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Emotional Garbage

Story is far fetched and totally unrealistic. This is particularly disappointing considering your previous efforts.

I for one would appreciate your obvious writing talents be directed towards writing stories that have some semblance of real life rather than this emotional load of rubbish.

Four kids sired by four different fathers (reality would mean the children would all look totally different and therefore would be obvious to all those around the family).

I have a single mom friend who has three kids by three different men and it is perfectly obvious to all and sundry that the kids are not "biologically related".

So please stick to the subject genre that you have a talent to write about!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
hmm

I remember the original but I can't seem to find it on the site now.

Anyway, perhaps a more satisfying ending then the original, tho the original was believeable (guy dies of heartattack on the news). I can't say I blame the guy for what he did. Sometimes the truth, no matter how horrible has to come out. Doubtful that the priest did the right thing but then I can understand the truth needing to be told. But then, thats my own perspective, in that I'd rather know the truth then live a lie and have people snickering behind my back.

As for his burn in hell sentiment, I hardly think thats a very condemning statement but then I'm not Catholic heh.

studyingstudyingover 18 years ago
Provocative and just

This sends out the chill of a Greek tragedy.

Comeuppance was due. Good for the husband. I do wonder why he slams the priest for insisting on truth even though it made him pay a price, being informed of something of which he was blissfully ignorant. He, with forethought, does the same thing to 12 guilty men and their innocent families.

So if he thinks it is just, he cannot very well put down the priest for doing the same thing.

saw_man1saw_man1over 18 years ago
The Only Innocent

The only innocent adult in this drama was the husband. The way the author has painted this story the husbands’ anger towards his wife, the priest, and the 12 guilty men was completely justified.

The priests’ advice to the wife to disclose her misdeeds ruined the once warm memories of this man.

The husbands’ disclosure in the church was justice served.

Great writing by the way; very original.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
An excellent alternative

I would have liked more story on the affects on the family and the other men, but I think this was a better ending then the original. I like both authors and please keep the stories coming.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
A lot of food for thought

Ohio:

Forget the nay-sayers. You and H2O together have given us a reason to ponder and think. Where H2O's story ended in finality that could not be pondered you've put a spin on it that is disturbing to to the mind just as Patricia51 did with her "Torn." An old saw from 'Nam was "Kill them all and let God sort it out." The let God sort it out is the part that pertains here. The priest in his arrogance is as guilty as the trollop as he had no reason or right to cause the suffering that was created. If he'd kept that one thought in mind to let God sort it out a lot of turmoil would have been avoided. Yes there is a need for the fornicator's to be judged but isn't that God's job? How many wives and children are suffering by the priest's actions let alone a good man and father? H2O & Ohio you've done a fine thing because you made us search in our own hearts to see where we'd go with this story if it happened to us. Thank You. Ronnie W.

ryu77ryu77over 18 years ago
What a sad story.

Now that I think about it, his reaction could have been worse. Like a wounded bear, he struck back to the people who participated in his cuckolding.

On a side not, I don't think Rachael is going to do anything sexual with his father just because she has two husbands...LOL!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Thank you for this story!

H2O's beginning of this story was the one story of his that I detested. I am so glad that someone added a better ending. To those that wanted him to forgive her, you have probably never felt the stab of betrayal from an unloving wife.

In my mind, I continue the story by having her face and the names of her "lovers" posted on billboards and newspapers around. I would copy the letter and send it to every relative of both of them. And then for everyday I lived I would go to her plot in the graveyard (having sold his plot next to hers and having a tombstone with the words, "cheating bitch" on her plot.) and piss all over her grave. That's only the tip of the iceberg of redemption against what she did to him over 45 YEARS.

Bitter? hell yes!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Now

that he knows the Identity of the fathers of three of her children's fathers, have DNA tests ran on them for proof and sue the fathers of the children for back support for 18 years. Causing the fathers to suffer financially would be "payback " for the no good sons a bitches.

I do like the onwe comment about pissing on her grave. I have an ex boss that I plan on doing that to if I outlive the cocksucker.

Good story Ohio. Good writing too. Brings out the animal in all the readers. It takes a good writer to bring out emotions like I've read here.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
I second the "good alternative" comment

I remember reading the original story, though barely; it left a sour tase in me that basically left me blocking or trying to bloack the memory of that story out. Supposedly it was based on a real life event or series of events; I'm sorry but I can't possibly believe that someone cuckolded dor so long would be willing to still be buried with their whore-spouse.

In short thanks for (giving me at least) an ending which I'm able to stomach.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Very Well Written

You really brought out the raw emotions of a man who I believe was driven to an uncontrollable rage because he was unable to carry out the one thing he craved, revenge upon his wife. The woman had died so there was no way to embarrass her by outing her to her friends and relatives or to actually murder her himself. He seemed so desperate on the altar yelling the other men's names and then when all else failed just knocking over the vase as he left. He was the picture of a man so frustrated and angry over what had happened that he would probably never be happy again.

One other thing I noticed was the reaction from many of the comments. I would have guessed that a site like Literotica would attract a more liberal oriented crowd, and I am sure to a large extent it does. Yet almost every comment was overwhelmingly in favor of what the man did. They called the woman a whore and even went after the priest whose job it is to ecourage absolution. One commentator refused to believe that a story could go this far writing that someone would have noticed that the children would have looked different and intimating that thankfully the woman would have been stopped.

I guess what I am saying is that there are quite a few readers on this site that can't handle a woman stepping out on her man regardless of their other views in life. If you need more proof just check out the comments on stories regarding cuckolded husbands and more specifically interracial sex. Despite the stories being an exercise in fictional writing they are attacked for being unrealistic. There is, in fact, desperation in many of these comments relating to how someone could even write a story on the subject.

On the contrary, despite your story being fictional and somewhat unrealistic I still found it wonderfully written and I plan on reading more of your stories.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
One Major problem--several little ones

Most of the little ones have been mentioned in other comments, so I skip to my major one.

God looks down at the woman before him--"my son has said he will take your sins--you are forgiven and may enter heaven."

Angel comes running up to God--"Sorry My Lord, the womans husband says she must burn in Hell. Your forgiveness is overruled."

No priest of pastor that I know of would say such a stupid thing as "forgive her so she may enter heaven." That puts man above God--sorry, it doesn't work that way.

I may be wrong in this, but this whole thing seems to be a knee-jerk reaction. Written in a couple of hours by and author who was upset over the first story. The writing is okay, but there is no life or feeling to the story. Just characters mechanically doing what the author wants so he can prove a point. On the whole not a pleasing read at all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Father Martin is a Hero!

Of all the people who knew about her whoring, only the priest, for whatever reason, had the compassion to bring her behavior to his attention. He's not a villain as in the story, but the only person with morals.

Presumably she was buried in a common grave with no headstone. Good for the husband for 'naming names'. After he receives the cash from the perps, he should do what he can to destroy them, especially his brother.

Great Story!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Father Martin's a Hero? LOL

thta's twisted, brother!

like the husband said, a minimally decent person in a position like father martin would have advise the whoring woman to keep her mouth shut, telling her the lord has incomprehensible understanding, tolerance, compassion, and forgiveness,,, and whatever she's done in her life, that HE would not even care; she, like all his children, some idiots, others dumb, others still masochistic --- that all will come back to him in his blissful heaven, because he ain't no evil, penalizing little god but THE CREATOR of all!,,,,

and let the poor, idiotic, and clewless husband go, as he said, to his grave THINKING he's the real biological father of those kids (any man who don't know most of his kids have different fathers, thinking "I am theirs", ought to, as the idiot said, have that blissful ignorance be buried with him!

but that father martin, he --- if any one oughta be punished by that guy creator --- he oughta be sent down to be fried by satan for his extreme masochistic cruelty!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
His actions were mild

I would have him spend whatever it took, use whatever heroic measures were available to prolong her life. Each additional day he would get to savor the torture of her understanding the depth of his hatred and contempt for her. But hey, maybe that's just me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Nice alternative finish

You do a great job of bringing out the emotions. I like both endings. Which way is better? Venting rage is emotionally satisfying, but I suspect that years later he won't feel as satisfied. H2Owaders ending lets him live and eventually die satisfiled, even if it is an illusion.

Which is better? No man should have to find out!

DJ

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

I give it a high rating because this story is pure emotion. The rage grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go. I'm Catholic, so I can't buy the priest demanding that the wife confess her sins to the husband. You confess to the priest and after penance he forgives you on the name of God. The priest under his oath of confession cannot say whatever is said in confession or prompt the sinner to confess --because the sinner through redemption and forgiveness get his sin erased. Apart of that cannon of Catholic religion...this story made me feel and think. That's what an author is supposed to do. Very good. Do I agree with what the wife or husband did? Who cares. It's not my story to tell. It was the authors. 'Nuff said.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 18 years ago
thoughts

after reading this story, a couple of times, i can understand the bitterness of the husband.

how can you start over that late in life?

why would you even consider giving the wife peace even w/ her last day on earth?

this story is full rage. nicely conveyed. good job!

S-DesS-Desalmost 18 years ago
Interesting

I was catching up on some reading and caught this one. Nice job on the anger of the husband. I liked that he didn't bother to put on a happy face for the funeral. One chance to redeem a ruined life by getting back at those assholes. Good for him. I hope he gets a good lawyer and sues for 18 years of back child support for each kid and can retire. He deserves it, the poor bastard.

....S-Des

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Sorrow in my eyes

I`m Catholic in at birth but if i was the husband i heard that i would have done the same as he did but i wish you would have started from the beginning instead of doing it from middle of the story inside the hospital.

Pat M.

Atlanta.

E.Z.RiterE.Z.Riterover 17 years ago
Well done indeed

I think the story was excellent - raw, powerful emotions. Certainly, the posters of the prior comments had their emotions rattled.

bornagainbornagainover 17 years ago
string the father up

Max should have taken every man that was on that list inclusing the brother to a tall tree and sling 4 ropes up then put the noose around all the men that martha screwed and hung them at sundown

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Heartless

I had a wonderful wife who fucked around on me a few times, but I loved her until her dying breath. You have written some good stories but this one sucks in my opinion.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
great

i h0ope she burns in hell as he says ..if there be a heaven and hell let hher forever burn ..nothing in what she said begs forgiveness ...i would find out who the fathers were and sue every one of them for child support ..i would recoup as much as possible and as far as the church goes i would never set foot again in a place with some one who is the sinner that that priest was..what a bitch ..he should have had her cremated ..i would have refused to pay for her funeral and as far as her hospital bill if i could have filed for divorce i would have ..

NucleusNucleusalmost 17 years ago
You left us ...

with the question: WHY_____________________________________________

Think, I should read the other story?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
A Fitting End

Without a doubt one of the best "cheating wife" stories ever written,if not the best.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
Only a Fool with no concept of what marriage is.

Only a fool or someone with some sort of weak perverted mind would allow his wife to cheat throughout a marriage. That is not a marriage of love. Love has nothing to do with cheating. That is not what marriage was ever established to be. This is a great story. Thanks Ohio. Glenn in NC. Truly original. Great Job. Look forward to reading all your works. Thanks again.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
The two had been made one

He did to his family exactly what she did to him. He could not forgive her, now he won't be able to forgive himself. He had lived with her so long that he had become like her

A perfect ending.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
hypocracy

there was the wife, brother, church, etc, and they all chose to turn a blind eye. 4 children, and more lies from her. the indignation of the husband was perhaps understated, but he did make his point. the public denunciation was not misplace and the wife and others have a special place in hell.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
:) good on you :)

I write this to those of you that has been there in one way or another. Wouldn't we all want that perfect moment of revenge :)Why should he be expected to lie after being lied too? What is it with you fickle humans that makes you want him lay down in others sh* and be comforted. No way. Let the truth be heard, probably those of you with this kind of hypocracy either never have been there, never been in love, trusted someone, or just maybe? Would be on that list of names? Cheers Yoron.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Very good

I think I can understand the husbands actions, after finding out that everything you thought was real only to find out it was a lie and everyone else already knew.

I don't think I would have behaved much differently(possibly even worse). I'm not really sure I could even forgive any of the children and I truly hope never to have to find out. I don't understand why everyone would believe him to be a willing cuckold and never mention any of this to him, especially his own parents.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
heartless, not

his life was an illusion and it came apart on him. her final desire for compassion was misplaced, given her hypocracy. her knowing the contempt he held for her must have put her past transgressions in context. one can assume that she was not the defender of him with her lovers, as a lover or anything, esp his brother. the laughs and the snickers, behind his back. i can not imagine any other ending. she was a heartless bitch, where there was a the difference of being with someone - and loving them.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
I would feel the man led a totally pointless life

with a totally worthless piece of trash that manipulated anyone and everyone around her. Someone wrote heartless as part of their critique. It was heartless, by the whore of a wife. She totally deceived, disrespected, and humiliated her husband of all those years. It is fitting she knew before she died that he would not forgive her. It was fitting he publically announced at her funeral the total slut and liar she was and to denounce those that participated in such a total belittlement of a man. In fact I would not feel bad if he shot each and every one of the twelve there in the church. The priest had the confessions of a slut but did nothing to minister to his flock which included the husband. Maybe the priest was one of the adulters. Someone wrote the husband would die regretting his actions. I guess that person has never really had anyone lie to them in any major way. The husband has nothing to be forgiven for, he did what was right, and may the wife burn in hell. Maybe he can marry the younger daughter, after all she is no blood kin to him.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Get over it folks you arent always forgiven and in

a lot of cases you dont deserve forgiveness. This woman bordered on criminally insane. She lied to and deceived everyone. She used her husband to finance her sexual life with other men. If you believe in God you also believe in Hell and this woman will spend her time wading thru molten lava with her cunt forever burning to pay for her sins against her husband, her family, her marriage, the church, and God. People like this deserve to be shot in both knees and both elbows and left in the hot desert with a gut shot to slowly die. Wont make up for the many years of hell she created but her pain may wash away some of the sorrow she caused by her actions. Yes there are men out here wives think about it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
HUMOR

This one should be in the humor section.

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 15 years ago
The chicken from hell coming to roost…

How I missed this one? It’s beyond me…But for sure, this is the end which should have been in place to begin with.

<P>In this ending, as in the original there is still a bit of an effort required from the reader to do some extra suspension of disbelief as it is a bit hard to imagine a whole village keeping quiet about something which in all likelihood would have leaked to the husband sooner rather than later…With multiple affairs over many years secrets which were kept among children and never a slip of tongue never overhearing anything –like I said a bit of an effort to believe it. <P>

But overall – a fantastic drama unfolding in a growing volume and ending in a shocked silence. When is the last time you have read such a dramatic scene as the ending in this story?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Cool

I never read the story this is based upon but I do have to say I loved the vehemence of the main character here. Blame it on the lack of coffee in me, but I really enjoyed this little vignette.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Good but

I like this version much better than the original

But there is one major fault that this story shares with the original.

And that is that no one would ever Fucking believe it when someone says, "He knows I'm cheating on him, but don't ever mention it to him because he is embarrassed about it."

I have seen this used in many stories and it pisses me off every time because it would never actually happen.

If i was this man i would not only Never forgive my wife, But i would never forgive the children or anyone else who knew about it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
and go after the men

that fathered the children, and take their money too. she played her game and there is a special place for her, then it leaves those, esp brother. what motivation coulkd justify that? if she was unhappy, just get out of the marriage

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
You left out the second act. It needs to be done

Take the DNA of each of her bastards and then get DNA samples of all the men involved. Then file in court for back child support for each and every one of them. Demand full payment at the time of notice. It might ruin their lives but his is already ruined. One idiot said he should forgive and forget. To begin with you can never forget such an event in your life. And to forgive it means you must accept it, and that my friends is something that could never be done with such a twisted whore as this one. Damning her to hell was the best thing he could do just before her death, it is almost retribution for what she did to him for years. There is no way he could ever regret what he has done or what he will do. The "daughter" as someone pointed out is not a blood relative of his and would at least make and excellent mistress if not wife. I am afraid some of out PC friends will not like this but they just need to grow up and live in the real world for a while. Excellent story Ohio, excellent!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Anony in Tenn

Sorry guy you didnt have a good wife if she fucked around on you a few times. You had a slut you paid for her lifestyle, she used you as a paycheck. Sorry guy.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
What a downer!

You should have sent this one to." READERS DIGEST" this is an erotic site.

jiminabjiminababout 14 years ago
A wife dies

not a loving wife. She was a wife in name only. Great story. Not fun but great. Thank you. Jim

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Oh man !

Thats about as screwed up as it gets .

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Right on.

Now that's more like it, for a cheating slut of a wife. Burn in hell, BITCH...

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
johngalt2300@yahoo.com

As always well written but not sure if this is a "burn in hell bitch" story or a cruel joke on your readers. It makes me think of a mean hellion of a child shitting in the rose bushes so his mother will step in it later. Don't ask what that means, I just thought it sounded cool.

robinhodrobinhodabout 13 years ago
Powerful!

I read the original first and thought it excellent. This, however, is a massive improvement. One of the best.

BigJohn601BigJohn601about 13 years ago
One hell of a followup to the original....

You could feel the anguish of the betrayed husband. To realize that the woman that you loved along with family, friends, and the children you raised had decieved and betrayed you for most of your life. Years that can never be recouped.......I would have taken an automatic rifle to that funeral and paid my respects ala Tony Montoya. "Say hello to my little friends."

huedogghuedoggabout 13 years ago
I would have

Had her ashes spread over a whore house so she would be at home.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

I read a cheating wife story, where the children left their genetical mother and father and joined to their "step" father for ever. They said in the story he is their true father. I think this is the bigest punishment.

TavadelphinTavadelphinabout 13 years ago
I feel a but cheated -

H2OWaders page has not submissions so i assume they have been archived or lost so I cannot read the original -

But I can get the gist of what happened in it -

This was an incredibly powerful story and the emotion he felt was clear - that he and his baby girl walked out together speaks to the strength and power he had as well as the love she had for her DAD!! A father is more than a microscopic bit of genetic material. He was much more -

Great story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Powerful

This was truly a powerfully told story and you could feel his pain through your words. It is only a story but you told it so well that I can still feel his anger and suffering. Nicely written and thank you for sharing.

GualterioGualterioalmost 13 years ago
Some of your critics will be happier if they read this

Your oft-expressed themes of redemption and forgiveness have had their unforgiving/unrelenting critics <smile> But they would probably love this one ... "spit in her face" LOL

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Redemption of a poor loving husband

You saved the anti-christs' story. There can be no forgiveness so you set straight h2's story and gave it a fitting ending.

lonewolf3307lonewolf3307almost 13 years ago
Well, at least, you tried!

Even though your ending was much, much better than the original, I'm afraid this story was just too far gone for any salvation. Your valiant effort is the reason for three stars.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Best that could have been done with the premise

Like the worthless slut in the story, there wasn't anything that could redeem it.

He got what little he could back by spitting in her face. The slut deserved to die alone and full of sorry. Hopefully he'll does exist so that she endsup where her actions and choices have made her belong.

She stole a lifetime away from this man. The children are not his, and the years he wasted on her can never begotten back.

The children should never burden him with their problems, but instead each of them should contribute to make his life good in what little tine he as left. Their growing up robbed him of his life, the have an obligation to pay back this man who provided for them even though they were not his responsibility.

I know the idiot cucks can't understand this, because they are mentally ill, but this poor honest man had his most precious gift, his life stolen by an unrepentant selfish slut. She should have lived much longer so he could have had a chance to exact his vengeance.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Forget the critics

This is a great story. Maybe a bit shorter than I would usually read but is was very enjoyable. I loved the ending. Keep writing. I really like your work and I am sure the vast majority of your readers do as well. Thank you.

DunaDunaover 12 years ago

1. I think the majority of the children say our father that who grew up and does not matter the DNA! My uncle grew up his stepdaughter and they said her daughter when she became 18 years old they are not her biological parents. She said she had the true father was my uncle and she had not looked for her biological parents!!! If he was good (step)father he could maintain a good connection with his (step)children. I suggest to read from Thecelt "Special Day" in LW.

2. The true redeemption a law suit against the DNA fathers to pay settlement for the children growing up years. After that from half of the money he should go a tour round the World with 2 weeks rest in BoraBora and other half part of the money should divade across their (step)children after his death.

huedogghuedoggover 12 years ago
but there is a difference Duna

your uncle knew that she wasn't his bio child. The dad in this story didn't. There is a very big difference, for women it's cut and dry. They don't have to wonder if it's their child. A woman gives birth so she knows it's hers, but for a man it's different. Like the saying goes; mama's baby, papa maybe.

DunaDunaover 12 years ago

@huedogg Yes the old Roman Law Rule has been true for 2 millenea. However the modern sciences turn up this rule, because the DNA test almost 100% sure. The problem the price this test, for example in my country (Hungary) it is very expensive for the average husband's salary. I read here in a papatoad's story about 200 dollar/DNA test price in the USA.

The modern science brought that Mother may not sure because it may be eggcell donor mother and maternity mother others nowdays.

I hope such a time when the paternity test will be mandatory for every family from the authority, because the genetic illnesses (and the fathers' happines or sadness).

huedogghuedoggover 12 years ago
Duna, while you make valid points

I don't feel sorry for the children because they knew, he didn't, second she was a slut the effectively ended his blood line, because she couldn't keep her legs closed. as far as dna, they should test every child born but then you would increase divorce by 30%

DWornockDWornockover 12 years ago
I rated the story 1*.

The husband is as cruel and evil as any psychopath. If the devil exist, even he would not curse at a dying person and spit in her face. It there is a heaven and hell, she may not go to hell but he certainly will go to hell.

The man is insane and has commited the crimes of assault and should be sent to an instution for the criminally insane for the remander of his life. Certainly he is a danger to society.

huedogghuedoggover 12 years ago
If there is a hell

If there is a hell it will be full of morons like dworslock. Your a fucking moron, she was a slut and died like she should have, unforgivin and will be worm dirt for all time. Your either a cuckold, a woman or a transgender cuckold, slut with cuckold loving dreams. I fell sorry for you parents.

JLRemoraJLRemoraover 12 years ago
The priest and the cuckold

Compounded transgressions that affect the innocent. I think that's the core of the story. I'm not sure how Max couldn't have eventually found out (on his own) what his wife had done, since keeping a secret, albeit, an open secret, is most difficult. I'd think someone would have inadvertently mentioned something. Or perhaps, people's attitudes toward Max would have aroused his suspicions.

Regardless, the story was powerful in its relentless focus of wide spread betrayal and the play on the insidious arrogance of those who would offer advice when they themselves have no wisdom. Is Max to blame for his capriciousness? Not hardly.

DunaDunaover 12 years ago
I do not afraid of increasing divorce rate

@huedogg If the DNA test was mandatory for example in the USA for the husbands after the childbirth the husbands could decide on bringing up the bastard or divorce their wives. I am envous to the USA federal law because an exhusband does not have to pay any children support for the bastard until the children become 4 years old (in Hungary you must pay for all children after the divorce). After 4 years old children a husband has to pay but he can start a law suit against the DNA father for compensation (this law institute also there is not in Hungary). I do not afraid of the temporary divorce increasing it would be a cleaning fire and the exhusband should pay only for his own children and most impotant he gets more time to find a next mate/wife. The high divorce rate would slowed after some years and more women would start thinking (protection, during child production not to cheat, etc.).

DunaDunaover 12 years ago

@dwornock The face spit is not phisical violance. It is strong emotional answer to the humilation. You are wrong about Max. In your mind to produce bastards on the husband's back is a normal etical thing? Why did not this wife divorce from Max after the first bastard birth? That time the DNA test was only a dream. Perhaps did Max work as a slave in the stonemine to be everything for his family and he earnt much money? Yes that is wrong thing to spit on the face during her dying, but it is not cruelty. Max had better sit beside his wife's bed and ask information about the true DNA fathers TO START A LAW SUIT AGAINST THE TRUE DNA FATHERS FOR MUCH MONEY SETTLEMENT FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND EMOTIONAL DAMEGE. Of stelements (plural)he could start a one year World around tour to look at (Bali island, Thailand, Bora Bora, Tahiti, Iceland, Kamcsatka, all USA, All Europe, Australia, New Zeeland, China, etc,).

cantbuymycantbuymyover 12 years ago
Will Give it a 5

Husband did right. she wants forgiveness in this world - that is up to hubby. let her look to God in the next. she was a whore.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
HATE WITH KNOWLEDGE

whats a family to do. TK UY MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
@ Duna

I have read several of your post and they have a similar ring to them. LAW. The way I read it the husband wanted justice not revenge or law. Law is not justice nor does it come close. Law is just words that people (lawyers) use to bring you a long term grief. Wouldn't need law if people's word had value.

DunaDunaabout 12 years ago

Nowdays the DNA test is almost 100% sure in paternity, so if Max knew from his wife the biological fathers he would get much money from law suit. The biological fathers could loose much money for Max. This would be excellent payback......

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 12 years ago
Whore

She made an unknowing and unwilling cuckold of him. Now she burns in HELL!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Waoo

that was good....I'd start suing & killing people.....for real....bill

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
internet harddman and closet cuckold

c'mon bill, you'd be slurping creampies when your mouth wasn't busy smoking a cock, and Judas just gets cornholed, not fooling anyone cuckys

cantbuymycantbuymyabout 12 years ago
what he needs to do now is

PUT UP A PLACK WITH THE LETTER IN BRASS OVER HER GRAVE AND IN BIG LETTERS WRITE "FUCKING WHORE" ON THE STONE.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
cantbuymybrain

Not sure if "plack" is a new low for that misanthrope, maybe getting pumped full of semen from both ends incapacitated his spelling ability.

DunaDunaabout 12 years ago
Attention

This story is a remake of H2Owader's story. Could somebody write a remake about this story (or H2Owader's), where Max would sue the biological fathers for settlements. The biological fathers must pay settlement to Max, instead of assisting their children or grandchildren from that money. Max could go a long lasting travel (about a year) around the World and he sees Kamchatka, Australia, Bali, Kenya, China, Thailand, Chambodia, Peru, Europa, whole USA, Mexico, Japan, India, New Zeland, Bora Bora, etc.. LONG LASTING LIFE AND VIVA FOR THE DNA TEST.

DuNA

DunaDunaalmost 12 years ago

An excellent revenge for MAX!

The biological fathers should sell the house to pay to Max the settlements and their descendants WILL NOT INHERIT ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Plaque

That's "plaque, not "plack" ,you typical illiterate "SEMs"

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
That was an excellent story.....

thought the outcome was proper and fitting.

newjaynenewjayneover 11 years ago
That's better

but he should have broken the vase of flowers over the priest's head - hypocritical bastard!

(By the way, I'm still not entirely convinced that the original wasn't just a piss-take!)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Much better than the original

Thank you for writing and correcting the story in the original form, I think having been married and the father of two children that what the constant lies and deception over all those years demanded a true accounting and outing of some of the 21 men in the church where she lied when she answered the marital vows.

The wife is dispiciable and a proven well worn slut for men other than her husband and she must had a basket full of psychological issues,

cantbuymycantbuymyabout 11 years ago

now this is a good NOT A CUCK AND ACCEPTING IT story!

Anonymous
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