All Comments on 'Young Blood Ch. 05'

Hell, this is your best yet! Can u plz try a sequel maybe, u know, all three (four with Elizabeth). Keep righting!!!

I can't wait for Blood Rose!!!

Damn these are fantastic, just finished a 12 and a half hour night shift, and the vampiric theme seemed kinda fitting so i started readin the first chapter, i now find myself with very little time left to sleep before work tonight since i was completely hooked and just had to keep reading the rest of the story. Truely amazing, can't wait for the tale of Elizabeth, keep up the wonderous work

Imaginative, deep and beautiful. Excellent read - bring on Blood Rose!

I never knew there was a place where I could find storries like that. You should reall try to find an adult company that would put some serious thought and money in making a movie out of it. I think that would be one I would spend good money on. I'm lookin forward to many more of you stories. Best wishes to you.

hey man this is great stuff, it not only kept me wet but kept me reading whole.keep up the good work and keep this story going!!!!!!!

Wow... just fucking wow. I just finished reading all of this story (this and the prequel) and all I can say is wow. You are an amazing writer, never stop doing what you do, keep up the good work! Never have a read a story as captivating as this. I started the prequel before work today (I went in at four) and when I got back, I just had to read all the rest of them. Simply. Bloody. Brilliant. Thank you so much for writing this, it has been a joy to read such good works.

-Benjamin U.

Out of all the stories on her I must say that was the best one yet and to think I was about to delete this site. That was fucking awsome, that's all I can say. It reminded me so much of......... well people (in a manner of speaking) I know. I'm sending this to my sister and brother they'll enjoy it as much i did fer~rizzle

wow..

i dint think i could read a great story but this blew me away..=]

your a great writer and i think you should keep writting till your hearts content..=]

thanks for the beautiful story..

=D

I myself might not be a great writer, but this story has made me change my mind on writing forever. This story had me reading all day, I couldn't leave my screen for one second for fear that I would miss out. This has to be one of the best stories I have read, simple as that

You did an excellent job of developing your characters, and the plot was very enjoyable. The chapters were well paced, and you did not go overboard with any one scene. Thanks a lot for sharing this tale with us. Looking forward to reading more.

wow that was amazing you should try to find a sponsour so you could right more often

I love the stories but you might want to watch your plot development. I've read most of you stuff and you tend to get a little predictable and cliche,but keep writing

I loved this! i couldnt stop reading until i found out the end! Every moment i got i was reading a bit more! i think you should write some more of when shes had the baby!

I LOOOOOOOVE it, it was an awesome story the whole way through! It even had a villain!! Hahah good job icehead, you're welcome in my dormroom anytime ;)

This is one of the best storys i have read on literotica. This is also my favorite erotic horror. KEEP ON WRITING! YOUR THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

da fukin bst story i ever read on this site..awesome...u r da bst.seriously

You have a very strong talent. And did a good job writing this story. I loved it.

just holy shit wow, man. That was some of the finest writing that i've ever seen. Outstanding blend of the drama/mature aspects. Keep it going, and hope to see you published.

Brilliantly worked storytelling! The darkness of vampirism and the tenderness of the sexy parts really spoke to me! Brilliant wonderful job!

I loved the whole story! Fantastically written and the ending was definitely a nice one!

I especially love the fact Elizabeth had no hidden agenda, at one point I thought she might try and persue Vincent further, after the shower bit - I was very pleasantly surprised! I will, of course be reading the prequel

Thanks for an awesome read :)

I loved this story thanks man!

I liked the story and the character development. Nicely written, wasn't expecting the story to end the way it did.

That was absolutely incredible! You definitely have such a talent for writing! So far I've read both the blood rose stories and this series and I've loved it all!

One of the best stories I have read.

I normally come to Literotica for porn, and to beat off. However, Once I started to read this series, that all changed. This is just a great story as a story! I have read it more than once, and gained more understanding each time. My hat's off to you.

I absolutely loved it and blood rose good job

Let me first say that you are a superb writer, with beautifully crafted stories, characters with personality, depth and dimensionality that is on par with many published authors. For a forum such as this, your work stands out as the finest I've read. That said, you have some fairly common grammatical and syntax mistakes that could be easily corrected. While they distract somewhat from the story's readability, they are not major issues for a writer. This is what a good literary editor does for a living.

This story in particular, "Young Blood," has what I believe to be real potential for commercial appeal. Though most of the stories in this genre are written for a "YA" audience (ages 13-19), you would obviously have to choose from either removing/rewriting all but the mildest sexuality (think: what would keep my book "PG-13" if it were a screenplay) or else try to publish in the Adult Romance arena. And yes, I said "book." You have 5 excellent sections fleshed out already; they just need fleshing out (no pun intended), with some transitions, a few more plot points, more development of both the main and supporting characters, and (in my opinion) greater complexity in the antagonist (as well as a supporting cast for her as well).

Okay, the "bread & butter" of this communication- who the heck am I to write to you as if I have something to say? Fair question. As a fiction writer, nothing except for the great love I have for fiction, especially, the supernatural and dystopian genres. However, I am a published author of numerous academic journal articles, mostly in peer-reviewed (professional) journals. I am also a university professor, and I read, edit and grade hundreds of papers - essays and research papers, which means I'm a stickler for the use of proper syntax and grammar. So, the next question: why am I writing this to am unknown (to me) person on an erotic fan fiction website? Well, again, it begins with my enjoyment of GOOD erotica (which is, as you know, extremely rare). I really believe that you are an uncut diamond amongst the sooty coal of these boards. I promised myself many years ago that I would give encouragement to those in whom I saw potential. Of course, I was mostly thinking of my students at the time, but if one looks hard enough, diamonds are all around us, and are sometimes in the most peculiar places (like literotica.com, for instance).

So here's my advice- take a chance. Actually go out, hire an agent (or learn how to be your own), pour yourself into the basic story you have written, labor, sweat, cry, scream and, above all, fall in love with your characters and the stories they were born to tell and let them tell it. Finally, don't ever quit on them until you've found someone to help you share their story with the world, because you know they deserve to tell their story to the world, and that you really are good enough to make it happen. I will eagerly await the book (series?). In the the meantime, if you want some moral support, feel free to contact me on this forum. Good luck, and thanks for the stories!

One of the best written vampire stories I have read on this site orf any other site. An outstanding plot with exquisite character development. You needed to add some small details like what year of college(Fresh,Soph, Jr, Sr), maybe their majors, and why this college caters to vampires. I read "Blood Rose" and really enjoyed it also but the ending left a few unanswered questions like what happened to Elizabeth after "blood Rose", what happened to the female vampire hunter who had been turned into a vampire, and whatever happened to the sequel to "Blood Rose" that you mentioned at the ending. A sequel to "Blood Rose" was a must and you did not deliver it to your reader/fans as all the comments I have read are begging you to write more. A sequel to "Young Blood" is a must also from all the positive comments you have received on the story and many asking you to write more. Make them all seniors and throw in some majors and write about their last year at college and Alica's pregnancy and delivery of their little vampire. Write about their lives after college and how the 3 of them remain together as a threesome as Alica and Vincent ask Elizabeth to remain with them as part of their lives as they would not be whole without her. Elizabeth finally realizes that commitment is a good thing after all. +Maybe you should seriously consider writing that sequel to "Blood Rose" that you mentioned at the end of that story. And don't forget the sequel to "Young Blood" also as I know it will be as awsume as the 1st part . Retired ArmyNCO