All Comments on 'April Fool - No Longer'

by gordo12

Sort by:
  • 170 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Nice one

Well done. This could be made into a longer story including retribution against all the cheats and disloyal wife.

More please.

TheKrrakTheKrrakabout 5 years ago
Perfection in few words

Awesome Gordo, 5/5 for short,sweet vengence.

Although I do echo the other commenter that this could easily use a follow-up to document the fallout.

tazz317tazz317about 5 years ago
WHEN PLANNING AN EXCEPTIONAL COVERT OPERATION

do not leave any thing to chance or serendipity. TK U MLJ LV NV

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 5 years ago
Enough With the 750's Already!

As someone whose editor always says, "needs more," I understand the difficulty in writing longer stories, but why an artificial limit? Write story, if 800 words, so be it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Cute

Shouldn’t have mixed the 750 word challenge and April Fools challenge together.

Seems like a great deal of effort and expense to have her confess what he already knew. The on-camera thing is silly, but what the hell. I’m also a believer in less is more. His wife is suddenly the village whore (best friend AND two others???). A singular affair would have been sufficient and more impactful.

Anyway, premise was good and it was a fun read. Just would’ve been better suited to a longer format.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 5 years ago
Short and to the point.

Best revenge story per word I've read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Perfect flash story

No minced words. Great impact! I think it's an April Fools .winner

xtchrxtchrabout 5 years ago
What a Creative Idea!

Boy I wish this was longer...but you covered all the points in a most creative way. Thanks for a good story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Original!!!

Nice plot, very different and original.

gordo12gordo12about 5 years agoAuthor
So About the 750...

When I went looking for April Fool ideas I ran into three good ideas. I had just realized I could have entered into the 750 challenge and missed it. My bad!

April Fool pranks (usually) being short I decided to write all three stories in the 750 format for practice. However the Cheat-ify story was a little dark so I decided to publish it separately. Cheat-ify was a hit so the sequel followed written as a flash story.

It's just that these were all written a month ago and I didn't feel the need to change them. Short sweet and hopefully entertaining for April Fools. But it is a contest so please vote!

kiteareskitearesabout 5 years ago
Agree with Just_Words

Short and sharp.

Some stories you don't want to exist or at least be shorter, the way this was executed I would have been happy if it was longer too.

Thanks.

patilliepatillieabout 5 years ago
Short and sweet and packs a wallop

Hard to give stories this short a 5*, but yours earned it.

SkubabillSkubabillabout 5 years ago
Great for 750 words

I really enjoyed this story hope you win.

neilnblowme2neilnblowme2about 5 years ago
loved it

cheaters with consequences

couldn `t be better

5* million hardons and 5 orgasms

great job

KingBandorKingBandorabout 5 years ago
Hmmm

I don't get the point of doing 750 words when there is no longer a challenge for it.

Also, in this day and age, is it normal to read a paper newspaper every morning and have a land line in your house? How would he have been able to get someone to make and print a believable fake newspaper? It's not that easy.

Also, he was able to get people to live stream the commission of a felony... Posing as government agents...

Too much to believe. Too short to care.

KB

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
yup

Great. It was perfect.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Good quick hitter!

Pretty funny stuff. He was right on top of her cheating. And simply wouldn't accept it. Ignore the stupid naysayers. I liked the 750 word challenge. Some of the stories were very good. Some were very bad. But it was interesting to see what could be accomplished in 750 words. This story was a good example of BTB in 750 words. Why is anyone complaining? I had to laugh at KB's comments. Most people I know have land lines in case the power goes out and the cell towers don't work, they can still communicate. Most still get the newspaper. Some just read the business page. Some just read the Sports Page. Some read the entire paper. But 8 of 10 people on my street get a daily paper. The "fake newspaper"? Easy peasey lemon squeezy. There are at least 2 printers in our town that could print up a believable newspaper. King, do you live in the boondocks? As for streaming something on U-tube or other social media? Practically any kid could do that for you. So your arguments ring hollow and just seem like sour grapes. Thanks for the entertaining story. Keep after it!

5 stars

OvercriticalOvercriticalabout 5 years ago
Efficient

Made really good use of his 750 words. Wish other authors were as efficient.

26thNC26thNCabout 5 years ago
For it all

You said all you needed to say in 750 words. Great imagination and writing. Now give us a multi chapter story.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 5 years ago
Length

To be clear, I have no problem with "short and sweet." As I have said, I have my own problems putting "more" into my stories!

I don't even have an issue if the short story just HAPPENS to be 750 words.

My issue is when the story is complete, happens to be 760 words, or whatever, and a special effort is made to cut it down to 750 in the absence of any special requirement to do so.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Geeeezzz

I gotta have all the facts in order to score this. His ex is still in shock and never uttered a word. She might have just bought them to smuggle heroin or cocaine across the mexican border as a way to increase their planned retirement funds and buy him a bass boat... isin't that what most loving wives do?

gordo12gordo12about 5 years agoAuthor
@Geez

That was the best belly laugh I've had all morning. Yeah, a bass boat. Saw that one coming NOT :-)

Thanks for the amusing comment!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Give it a good score.

To Anonymous 3/1/2019 read ALL the words:

I copied:

Amelia was quiet, sobs starting to wrack the air, "yes."

"We need names and addresses."

She named my best friend and two husbands we saw socially.

Short and sweet story; I give it a 5

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Great story.

Good thinking on his part. Too bad we couldn't get that kind of cooperation from the public. 5*****.

Rolando1225Rolando1225about 5 years ago
Great Short Story

Great short story where the husband is not destroyed by the wife's infidelity. Gave it a 5.

MbgdallasMbgdallasabout 5 years ago
Really awful.

Met the requirements of 750 but it still has to be believable.

She’s going to get whatever his raise is anyway. He earned it while they were married.

Stupid.

PowersworderPowersworderabout 5 years ago

What a great story! You managed to pack a lot into 750 words.

MattblackUKMattblackUKabout 5 years ago
That worked very well

Gotta be worth at least a Dollar a word!

Impo_64Impo_64about 5 years ago
Funny, short and to the point...

Funny, short and to the point...4*

chytownchytownabout 5 years ago
Thanks***

For the read.

MichaelFitzgeraldMichaelFitzgeraldabout 5 years ago
Nice Twist ...

Short. Sweet.

ReedRichardsReedRichardsabout 5 years ago
Anony: quick hitter

You must live someplace unusual, if most people are getting the newspaper! Almost every newspaper on the country is suffering greatly decreased circulation, and even the Washington Post had to be saved by Jeff Bezos’ bucks.

Land lines? That’s something for businesses these days. I’veg known a couple people who had to maintain them because someone’s pacemaker needed it!

ReedRichardsReedRichardsabout 5 years ago
What I liked was that . . .

. . . the same author wrote two April Fool’s Day 750 word stories, and took them in completely opposite directions. That’s creativity.

amischiefmakeramischiefmakerabout 5 years ago
Excellent 750

5* for sure

ohyessssssohyessssssabout 5 years ago
Less is better....sometimes

Wow, you said it all in 750 words. Excellent

UltimateHomeBodyUltimateHomeBodyabout 5 years ago
This

Would have been better in a full story. Too many quick decisions and actions that take a lot of time to think of, let alone plan, then find strangers willing to act for you.

The jumping through the story detrscted from wha t could be really good.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Good grief...

You wrote two 750 word tales. The other one was cute, and I gave it a well-deserved five. This one, well come on, you had to throw in a BTB. This was a throw-away, too contrived, too well packaged. I don't vote if I don't like them, so I read it and left it, now try something different.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

P.S. You're fun to read, and good for the genre. I just didn't like this one.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
And Next...

"Holy smoke the scumbag broke",said Barnacle Bill the sailor. ~ Now,in 750 words,lets see you have hubby take revenge on his best friend and the other two socially diseased husbands that the April fool fucked.

StubbyoneStubbyoneabout 5 years ago
WOW ! Fast & furious .....

But a great little story that really hit the nail on the head. All the elements of a wonderful story without all the filler. Well done. I loved it. Easy 5 😊😊😊😊😊.

chaoddicchaoddicabout 5 years ago
Loved it

Very clever way to discover who she was cheating with.

0zed0zedabout 5 years ago
GREAT!

An absolute Masterpiece!

oldbearswitcholdbearswitchabout 5 years ago
Great job fellow fat ass! Who the HELL am I to disagree with Carvohi, but cute as the other was, this one was GREAT!

Creative concept, good execution, complete story, no big holes, kind of Mission Impossible.

You rocked it !!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
A very good story!

A good story seeing that THIS April Fool's day must still come ... it is just over 18 days away today! Well planned and executed! Loved it!

etchiboyetchiboyabout 5 years ago
Well done!

Well done, within the limitations you’ve set yourself.

4-stars

rescatooorrescatoooralmost 5 years ago
Wow.

I'm surprised that it's actually doable to write a short story with little to no actual eroticism on this site AND have it be fairly well received. Commendable!

With that said, I have to agree with the many other commentators saying that the story suffers from the 750 word challenge. It was definitely excellently written but there was no weight to anything in the story with the speed events flying by like race cars. A couple of hundred extra words would've benefitted it greatly.

It's not my type of story, but I do see that you are skilled. So do keep writing. Forget about challenges if there is nothing to gain.

etchiboyetchiboyalmost 5 years ago
ReedRichards: Landline? Several reasons for such.

My parents keep a true telephone landline for MedicAlert-type pager purposes.

My wife insists we keep a true telephone landline for 911. We live (apartments) in a cell “shadow” area so cellphone is spotty. Absolute truth — people in our building go out to the street, or across) to get a cell signal. Many many many times I go out and see 2-3 others across the street on sidewalk strolling and talking on cellphone (signal is good enough in building for texting, but verbal is all mucked up, and cuts out often). We have hardwired internet access, and can get optional phone, from cable company, but cable company cannot guarantee phone (i.e. 911) access if building power goes off, so wife insists on Ma-Bell.

For purposes of this story, cable TV line can be considered “landline”, assuming they have cable (or Digital satellite TV/internet). And who doesn’t now days. So streaming would be available.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
I have to agree with etchiboy, ReedRichards.

People in my neighborhood did the exact same thing as in his, trying to use their cellphones. Sadly, with upgraded technology, it has only gotten worse, and we can't get a cell until we drive down to a major boulevard a mile away. The cell company wanted to add towers to the area, but the community stopped them. I assume those people are anti-vaxers, too. And I don't live in Amish country, either. I live in a major suburban community halfway up a mountainside, eighteen miles from downtown Los Angeles!

rvbuilderrvbuilderalmost 5 years ago
Well done!

Very nice little BTB story, and I appreciate the homage to Stangstar06’s gum snapping process server.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago

A really enjoyable funny story, but too short.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Obviously...

.....restricted by the 750 word limit but a lot said in a few words. Yes, allowed to be a full sized story, it would have developed into a very good tale. The author shows much talent in putting forth the relevant points in a few words. I intend to sample some more of his work. 5*s.

jtwheelsjtwheelsover 4 years ago
Caught and punishment says it all

4 stars

No more needed

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Loved It 5 Stars

Loved the Payback at the end ..

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 4 years ago
Twice now I've tried writing 750 word stories...

...and neither is as good as this. It's perfect. Nothing is missing and you did it in 750 words. Good job!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

Very well done. I've done these 750 word challenges and it's not easy to do well. This one is actually very complete, considering you only had 750 words to do it. Almost as good as the new story I just proof-read ;) Five stars and well deserved!

jtwheelsjtwheelsalmost 4 years ago
Second time still good

Ha Ha Ha April Fools now time to pay

TorgauTorgaualmost 4 years ago

Funny story; well done. Thank you for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Unique

Unique and believable. More please. A five star if rating was possible... none available on this one.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
StangStar06's

Process server certainly gets around. Short, sweet, original and all streamed live. Great job. ***** anyway since we can't vote. Signed: BTW

26thNC26thNCalmost 4 years ago

The best of Scorp's April Fools triology. Burning four cheaters with one prank.

laptopwriterlaptopwriteralmost 4 years ago
Too bad you turned the score off.

This was ingenious. I would have given this an easy 5.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
great

what a great story pity it didnt happen doL6QN

WisquejacWisquejacover 3 years ago

Wish I could vote 5 fucking stars for btb. Evil genius.

gordo12gordo12over 3 years agoAuthor

Concerning the scoring, I apologize. The story attracted a troll who was making multiple ugly posts every day. I finally had to shut voting off to get rid of him. He was hitting a couple of other stories, and they got shut down too.

SimpleGuySquaredSimpleGuySquaredover 3 years ago
Trolls, bah.

Excellent little story, great concept, very "with the times."

Trolls are prime examples of advanced stupidity, literally useless dregs on society. It's not just here, they're everywhere. Little pains in the ass.

Constructive criticism of a story? Yep, I'm pretty convinced that most authors appreciate that, even if they decline to make suggested changes. As in "suggested."

And sure, not everything is for everyone. To pan a story in a vile manner just because you have issues with the premise? Go read something else. If the author has a history of writing what you have issues with, go read someones work that exemplifies your personal wants. Quit wasting our time with your BS!

ResmiHardinResmiHardinover 3 years ago
4*

Brilliant, have to say it he acted fast!

Only downside was it wasn't long enough lol

ranec1ranec1about 3 years ago
Mean As!!

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Mr_Sap24Mr_Sap24about 3 years ago
Funny

Way to short but funny.

far_wanderer1984far_wanderer1984about 3 years ago

Amusing but too short needed the aftermath.

Robby_DRobby_Dabout 3 years ago

Short and sweet! 5 🌟 ⭐🌟 ⭐ 🌠

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 3 years ago
That was fun.

I doubt it was for the narrator. As Sheldon said on The Big Bang Theory, "Payback really is the B-word."

JRandyJJRandyJabout 3 years ago
5*

Another one bites the dust!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Szavazni nem tudunk,mert nincsenek csillagok,de 4 csillag

...csak azért 4 mert a véáge kissé összecsapott...

gordo12gordo12about 3 years agoAuthor

Translation for anyone interested:

Anonymousabout 8 hours ago

Szavazni nem tudunk,mert nincsenek csillagok,de 4 csillag

...csak azért 4 mert a véáge kissé összecsapott...

***********************************************

Anonymousabout 8 hours ago

‎We can't vote because there are no stars, but 4 stars‎

‎... It's only because his vera has clashed a little...‎

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I liked ut

iameaseliameaselalmost 3 years ago

That was sorta fun.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
Quick and dirty

Fast as Hell

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Still enjoying

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Perfect

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Excellant!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Just one of the best 750 word gems around!

.

5*****

Tiger27Tiger27over 2 years ago

Shazaam!!!!!!!!!

HaydenDLinderHaydenDLinderover 2 years ago

Well, that was BeaUtiful!!!

Djmac1031Djmac1031over 2 years ago

Short. Sweet. Awesome

lover1953lover1953over 2 years ago

Excellent!

Great short story.

fishgetterfishgetterover 2 years ago

Great, and a 5* effort, for sure!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Would vote 5* but voting seems to be turned off.

gordo12gordo12over 2 years agoAuthor

Yeah, sorry about that. It was getting hit by a troll and the score driven down. So I locked it. But I'll take your vote in spirit! 😊

Storyteller0112Storyteller0112over 2 years ago

Short, sweet, and very much to the point. 5 star rating!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Great story, loved it.

s2520rf2s2520rf2about 2 years ago

Jut absolutely great!

goodshoes2goodshoes2about 2 years ago

5 stars if they were available to click on.

pantylvr2pantylvr2about 2 years ago

loved it. perfect 750 word challenge

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Why no voting, definitely worth 5 stars

Carioca_ManCarioca_Manabout 2 years ago

Definitely 5 stars in many ways:

Fast BTB. No ado or too much explanation... just a backstabbing bitch who got caught and burned.

original idea. At least until now, I hadn't read anything like it.

Despite being very fanciful in the arrangements for the "prank", I liked the way it unfolded and the plot set up.

The icing on the cake: her confessing, unknowingly, to family, friends, and all of Facebook.

Great job. Too bad I can't have a vote. But that's just my opinion.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Wish it had been longer, good plot and well moved. A joy to read, thank you.

12
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
usergordo12@gordo12
795 Followers
Nov 2020 A change in my comment policy: I've allowed commenters free reign in the past. Unfortunately, a few have abused that. Therefore, if you post shit, you'll get deleted. Nov 2020 Sorry for not keeping this up. Two new stories coming. One for the Winter Contest called "U...