Hope it isn't 8 months 'til the next chapter....
mighty fine story so far....
Great and hope you continue getting her in deeper.
very hot. to bad you didn't keep going with it. Thats why you only got 75% instead of 100%. Take another look and see if you might come up with one ot two more chapters.
It was pretty good, really hot. Is it strange for a girl to find cock sucking so enjoyable? I certainly like it.
My only issue is the degrading of the spelling and grammar more around the end. You kept referring to her as Louis(guy's name), putting 'where' instead of 'were', and the one that bothered me the most, 'red' instead of 'read'. I would've enjoyed the story a lot more if I didn't have to struggle to understand why they were talking about colors.
That was great. I've never really been into control, but I quite enjoyed that story.
i loved it sooooooo much but the fact that you stopped right there.....when it was getting good burned my heart. i was getting so turned on to masterbate. u crushed me dude
ur story rokd my soks i wish that i had louise in my bed to be my slut
very interesting...cliff hanger at the end I need to know what happens to her next! First chapter story I read...
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and damn right, its better than urs
who starts licking jeans? Then half the bj was through the boxers...which apparently never came off? Did she remember to pull it out of the boxers? have you ever got a bj in real life?
how baggy were his boxers jesus she deep throated him with them on? please
Oh what story, like most men a woman (or girl ) who wants to do everything you want is just a dream, loved it. looking now for more of this in new chapters.
What a wonderful encounter with a lovely, inexperienced girl who actually believed the lies you fed her...is that her fault, because you seem to blame her for believing your deceit. Who's the dumb one?!?! You take something fresh and beautiful and manipulate it...bravo, asshole! Does crushing a flower make you a man?!?!
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