All Comments on 'Tic Toc!'

I'm not sure how people can write a couple paragraphs and think it's a story.

One of the best of the April Fools stories that we've had so far. Loved it.

To short

please put another part with this

But the setup is rich enough that I think I would have liked to have seen it as more than a 750 exercise.

But you could have written a 3 page story on this story line that would have held our interest better. This definitely was a different take on catching a cheating wife. More was needed to get the background and reasoning behind the supposedly loving wife becoming a cheater.

If the guy was so out of touch he thought that prank would make his wife horny, I can see why she turned to another man. Still should have divorced him first.

Nice.

Enjoyable.

A short short-story is a perfectly acceptable option.

Those who want books, should go get a book.

JMAS

I guess as an April Fool joke it's okay, but a shitty place to end the story.

I'm also not clear if he was surprised that his prank just happened to catch them, or if he suspected it all along.

While I like the direction this missive is going, it leaves one wanting too much.

3/5

You gave it a good try likegoodwine.

Don't stop here. With more stories your writing will improve.

Good luck ;-)

AMerryman

to the owner's daughter. It makes it so convenient when the schmuck wants to ruin the boss' life.

All said in this April fools' flash story...We all know what happened after...4*

Nasty surprise all around!

Thank you!

A five star story that is short and to the point.

What happened? We only know what he is going to do, not what happened. We need finality.

I can not score this until the tornado takes the cheaters and drops the in a lake of crap. I want our hero to end up with a new wife, whose father owns the company where he now works.... guess where that leaves his ex-wife's boss not working and who no longer has a wife or job

you got us hooked now a good follow up.

A shame it was a flash story

as it had great potential for more.

But as a flash, it was simply great!

Well done likegoodwine and thanks!

Top ratings from me.

We're you trying to limit this to 750 words?

It was a great idea, but too fast and too short.

this is an interesting story but wayyyyyyyy to short, needs another fully in debt details

Aftermath please

as far as it went.

Why people would ask for a longer story for an April fool joke? The best jokes are the short ones.

for the work!

For those incapable of wrapping their meager heads around the concept of a short story, do some quality reading, of something other than comic books......

There is more?

Needs a follow up Chapter 2 though.

A bit of a rebound as an April Fool, but at least he found out his marriage was over the easy way and not the hard.

This was an original plot and you kind of just threw it away. Too abrupt an ending.

An interesting short story! Not one of the best, but creative and "fun". April Fool!

T.T.

Change and add nothing! April remains the cruelest month (even for the wife of a self-betrayed April Fool Prankster).

what happens next don't stop now give us more

I guess it was a funny prank. I hate pranks. If my wife had woken me up like this there would have been hell to pay. But discovering your wife of more than 20 years is porking her Boss would have been a life altering experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone. His life is ruined. NOT funny! But I have questions. Did he not drive to the business meeting? It sounded like that was his plan then you had him drive to the airport. Why would his wife leave the house? She owns half of it and has every legal right to be there. In fact, any decent attorney will tell her to stay put to make it appear she wasn't abandoning the property in the eyes of the Court. Why would she damage her property? She owns half of it. They may live in a no-fault area, but that doesn't mean he can't sue her Boss and their Company for not enforcing the Companies policies. And while he may have the Court of public opinion on his side he has just lost his wife and half of his assets. Nothing good about any of this sad tale.

... and I'm not about to sit and count them up in order to find out. One thing I've noticed with some of the 750 word stories is they often times feel unfinished, like this one, whether or not it is intentionally short. Not going to rate this in case you decide to resubmit a complete story.

but incomplete so I didn't score it. If it was scored on just this alone it would not be a very good score whereas something with closure could score quite well

They would get me into a heap of hot water in my house, but a great gag none the less. As for the cheaters, burn them good!

.....good job.

Quite entertaining, even if we were left wanting more.

That's a good thing...right?

5*s

Something doesn't feel right about this one.

R.

Good start, need to finish though!

5 stars. Well done, thanks for posting.

Always need some of the Great ones giving these new pups lessons .

*****

You were missed. I live your stories and your humor.

Would have got 4* but it's not finished.

"All said in this April fools' flash story...We all know what happened after...4*"

It's not so much what happened after that bothers me, but an explanation of what happened NOW!

Did he already know they were cheating, and this was an elaborate ploy to catch them?

Was he simply pranking his wife, and got a big surprise himself?

And????? Did I fall asleep and miss the ending? What happened?

Thanks for that quick little one.

Hope you plan to continue it

Good flash, 5

"Now I am not sure who was the most surprised, the cheaters or me."

Read too many LW stories, your expectations shade what you see on the page.

Green-something

(I probably would have let this pass, but you said it twice...:-( )

Short, sweet and to the point. Thanks!

Lost so much by writing so few words. Was it worth it?

You write well enough to actually spend some time on plot, characters, relationships and life.

Awwhhhh come on! This story deserves several paragraphs of epilogue. Well done though!

The beginning of a potentially classic LW's tale. 5 stars for a great setup.

Good setup, we need the rest of the story

zzzzzzzzzz.......

One of the best April Fools stories. Write again soon.

Short and sweet!!!

*1 for the non-ending.

What's the noise about incomplete story? LGW could probably hone this baby down to the 750 word limit and win a prize. IMO it's a wonderful short story, leaving inconsequential details to the readers' imagination - if said readers HAVE any imagination. BTW, that's the nature of fiction short stories - short on details & character development; long on short story, quick plot, fun twist.

Just one question: Who is the bigger April Fool's fool? (All three characters are in the running.)

Keep 'em comin'.

@ previous commenter, "1 star for no ending."

One star is a ridiculous rating for someone to give this story. Sure, it's an interesting story that begs for more, but to shoot it down with a 1 star rating for that reason is simply undeserved.

5 stars to offset that ridiculous rating.

I just read "A Tale of Many Mistakes". Poorly written, but an extraordinary story, the conclusion was exceptional.

Then I flew through your other stories. Great fun. You found an editor or a proof reader, and cleaned up your act! Totally different from "Many Mistakes", but I love your sense of humor. Now where have you gone?

Good start for the story, but what happened next? Be nice if you finished it.

What a pathetic effort.

1* for not bothering to finish the story.

Wheres the rest of the story. An ending would be nice.

The joke is definitely on them.

What is the “Canadian Mid-west?” We don’t have that here. East Coast, Quebec, - Central Canada, West, North. No mid west.

This could have been really good, but obviously you werent creative enough to put together a really fun ending to it.

God start, now we just need the ending.

Anonymous needs to wake up. We have East, Nfld to NB. Middle East Que and Ont and West. For Real.

If only it was this easy! I still like this story.

3 for no ending. Decent story but nothing wrecks a good story quite like an abrupt or unsatisfying ending.

Needs more fleashing out. Also a better ending...

Did you publish the outline by mistake?

Okay, "outline by mistake" is a funny comment. Zing! 😆

I liked it. It's a short, a quickie, a one-pager. Well done.

1 star for unfinished work.

It's like going to the toilet. Sure, you managed to shit, but you still need to whipe your ass and wash your hands, otherwise you're a disgusting fuck with a, literally, shitty asshole, kind of like posting an unfinished story.

Funny but unfinished.

Not complete

please finish it

Unfinished

I didn't understand, did he know about his wife's affair and wanted to make sure and record the evidence, or was his joke, initially, to repeatedly wake up his wife and have sex with her via video link?

Great April’s Fool story. Love it.

Weak.

5 stars - however, the joke was on him. His ex-wife and the ASSHOLE should spend at least a couple of months in jail due to the vandalism damage and that should give him more time to finish the divorce.

unfinished half-assed story. pity.

3 stars. Would of been 5 if you had finished the story.

Unfinished

story needs to be finished

Seems to be a few pages missing