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All Comments on 'April Fool's Game Gone Right?'

by davion2308

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Can't wait for part two, wonderful buildup and suspense

Nice work

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Paying Attention?

I don't know how much 'attention' she is paying, when a request for her to flash her breasts is interpreted as a full body reveal. I think he's in over his head in this relationship.

davion2308davion2308about 5 years agoAuthor
Well, yeah, she's not paying attention

That's exactly the point. He said one thing and took it back, she just went right ahead and went 110% on it. That's the joke.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Was either of them listening to the other person?

It didn't seem so. And I'm not sure her dropping her dress was an April Fools joke as much as it was her expressing her sexuality and "no limits" attitude. Which didn't seem to sit well with him? You could use some editorial help, especially at the end. And if he's afraid to find out why not just take her home? Not much of an April Fools joke.

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userdavion2308@davion2308
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There's not much to tell. I've been writing different works, serious and silly, erotic and political, for the past decade. I enjoy reading and writing and I think there is nothing greater then to connect mentally and intellectually with the people that read my work. If yo...