All Comments on 'Crazy Bubbles'

Eyelids drop like sailcloth

catch your desires, carry you

to past ports of call

where the two of you

roamed cobblestone streets,

heels clicking to heartbeats,

along stucco walled alleys

with alcove cafes, lovers laughing

"Pants with want, desires urged on."

Your place, or mine?

THIS is how to one writes erotic poetry. The rhythm was perfect for the piece, accelerating at times and lolling at others, and the metaphors drip from your tongue, one related to the next, flowing.

There was only one place where I felt the image was too in-your-face, almost brushing the burlesque:

-- he is there, preparing to please you,

-- underwater exploration is his specialty

--

-- knees spread, his head bows

-- in search of buried treasure

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think there could be a more lyrical approach there, or more original - something that was present in the rest of the poem and faltered a little there.

you with words of praise would not be enough, this is a reminder of how much I enjoy your writes. Thanks for the Journey.

Sexy and tender. I agree with Lauren--you write a great erotic poem. :)

This is hilarious, TT! A perfect blend of moaning and mirth. Well done!

Fly

I enjoyed this one twice.

Come by the café and see me sometime big boy!

Syn