All Comments on 'First Fuck of Office Affair'

...is worth what you paid for it. I get it.

That being said, may I offer some quick thoughts?

Your storytelling would be much improved if:

1) Your characters had motivations for their actions.

2) There were emotional repercussions for their actions.

3) You utilized dialogue.

. . . if it had been written in the first person.

Part 2 they get caught, you get beat up bad, Thats what should happen when married people want to fuck around.Thats what I would do to the guy' Wait by your car with my my Barry Bonds baseball bat and introduce you to it

Sorry , not for me ..........

Another story just like all the rest no real thought put into it just write it down no imageanation in the them sorry one from me

Who are these two? What kind of job allows them to not produce any work, instead allows them to email (first it was dangerous, because of IT...then fuck the IT!) each other all day? Also the first sentence was a complete lie: "When you work with someone you usually spend more time with that person than your spouse"...He was all day in his office and her in a different room...they just met occasionally...And a man so afraid of a simple email would risk to fuck in his office? Really? And all this about the plot, not taaking in account the writing style...Other comments talked about it...1*

Where is loving wife Tag coming from?

Affairs always get found out. The light get shown on the rats and these two cheaters are rats.

Until she and her boss are fired, and the boss' ex wife marries her ex husband and makes him the new CEO. That seems like a simple fix....and justice.

This is the writing of a thorny teenager. It's terrible!

I gave it a 3 since the writing was good although not what I prefer. I am sure some do. I prefer some character development and delving into the relationship between H and W not just routine sex. This could have been in a different category since H was not developed at all.

so does the poor hubby find out what a whore for a wife he has time to get rid of her

But it became a simple se-fest instead.

Workplace affairs do happen and usually start innocently enough. There didn’t appear to be any guilt about cheating on a spouse or even a perverse thrill in cheating, so I am wondering who was married. Other than a brief concern that her husband would notice her missing panties, there was no mention of a spouse.

Anyway. Keep practicing and you will get better.

So, what porn movie did you get this off of? Only in porn movies can that kind of action happen, that quickly and there not be any consequinces. Oh well, its only fiction.. Or some ones "wet dream".

You refer to a spouse, but are these two people married? Your POV in narrating this story makes for a bad, unemotional read. The idea that no one would notice she had sex was just ludicrous. Her face would be flushed and she'd smell to high heaven. This was simply badly thought out and poorly written. Try again. This was just awful.

1 star

One definition: "causing distress, difficulty, or trouble." Sounds like a like a lot of adolescents to me.

Not really a story. Reads like a book report about two worthless people. The over used boss takes cheating wife plot. Nothing new or worthy of note.

So you started out with a bang. Got complaints because it was too raw. But now you have the chance to start filling in the details and adding some drama and suspense. Those who hate cheating stories will piss and moan. If so why are they reading this stuff?

I hope you continue and slow down the breakneck pace. Add some second thoughts and/or guilt. Add some of the lives of the main two. Married? Children? What kind of people are they? Add some realism. We all know that reality bites. Consequences can be painful. People can make some very bad decisions. Delve into it.

R..

I thought it was entertaining.......please continue.

Thank you for this story. Ignore the asshats. This type of thing happens all the time. Both myself and my wife have had workplace affairs. And yes we each have fucked on the desk at work. She also got fucked in a conference room and I fucked a girl in the cab of a 25 ton crane at work. Sometimes the flirting just gets to be too much.

This was a sexy fantasy. I’ve had virtually identical experiences several times (from the man side), so I found it to be quite realistic.

Your writing is fine, but you need to force yourself to actually write the dialogue if you want to write a story vs just recounting a fantasy or personal experience. Set the scene, have the conversations, focus on building up the characters and their interests. Use google to find out tips for writing stories.

Bottom line, ignore the haters.

Not much. Porn scene in office context without a plot and without any characters.

WHAT? THAT'S IT...? IT JUST ...SUDDENLY...STOPPED! IT WOULD SEEM A STORY SHOULD HAVE A BEGINNING, A MIDDLE, AND AN END. THIS JUST HAD A BIT OF A MIDDLE. WHAT'S THE POINT?