All Comments on 'A History Lesson Ch. 03'

A little bit of a whirlwind with Beverly at the end but happy endings are the best.

Enjoyed this tale very much, thought the writing was very good. Flowed well.

That makes me a sucker, but you made me happy in the wee hours, and that's good. Thank You. Ronnie W.

A great ending to this story. I enjoyed it

I thought that your "What Now? My Ending DYJ" was good but your 'new edition' is outstanding! Your cleaning up of the language (in my opinion unnecessary) did improve things. You have a really good writing style and I look forward to many more stories by you so keep them cumming.

Pete.

This was a well put together story, told in an interesting manner, and it kept this reader enraptured all the way through. I like happy endings and the way you gently worked James into his prordained destiny was a treat to follow. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

That was the best ending with Mark and Bev getting married and having those babies that left me tearyeyed so continue on with the story please.

Pat .

Atlanta,Ga.

You really know how to make a person tearful. This is great love story. I love it. -- Thor

A very good story with a wonderful ending, excellent!!

" FANDAMNTASTIC ......... please keep up your good standard's .......... Rich ...........

Great story!!!!!1

An excellent story that serves as a reminder that Nice guys don't always finish last, and that nice girls can have success as well. Good comeuppance for Mark and Erika

Great story. Could not change a thing to make it better.

Thank you for sharing your work with us. The story is well crafted and the characters have 'real' personalities.

I liked it. As long as the story was some of the story seemed a little vague. You kept Bev so far in the background that I was always wanting more about her.

It did seem a little rushed in places, skimming over fairly important stuff to get to the next bit, but overall I liked it.

There's also one place where the names Mark and James are switched in the first sex between James and Erika. That was a little confusing for a minute.

For someone who's never been to Michigan you've done an excellent job with your details, except for the absence of Youper jokes of course. Since you've never been to Michigan that's understandable. Good, well written story. I'm a sucker for "Hollywood Endings" (they lived happily ever after} so you done good.

I followed the whole process which was excellent, but was a little disappointed when more was not done to the sleazeball, Mark. after all, he had been robbing the customers account of money through his padding of expenses, which is a felony. I would have liked to have seen

Erika get penalized more for her willingness in the planning of James' death. Not only was she just as guilty as Mark, she was to be a recipient of millions upon James' demise.

A man from Texas

Luckly none of the words have changed since my last pass!

If I had of known how good the story is, I would have rated all three chapters 5***** instead of being safe and rating the first two chapters 3***. However, in the past when I rated chapter 1 5*****, too often the story would end up being a 1* and therefore my chapter 1 rating was too high.

I wish the first sex that the two had (finally) would have been quite a bit more detailed. I will read the rest of your stories only I won't read the BDSM and the willing cuckold stories. Keep writing.

great story

There were a lot of unusual decisions made in Part 1, but the author deserves to have some leeway on that. Our hero has some odd distinctions about the women in his life. It is very odd that the investment company did not do any internal auditing. It is almost impossible to believe Mark would have developed that degree of obsession with a young lady everyone seems to believe is OK, but not physically outstanding. For our hero to show up, after months of absence, in a different town and arrive at her apartment within the critical minute to save Sweet Bev's virtue, is much TOO FAR over the top. Coulda (Shoulda) been a lot better! 3*

Jack, que son uno de los mejores escribe en este sitio.

Thank you for such good stories, they are best.

The only comment I wish to make is that, as far as I am concerned, you have the right formula in the majority of your yarns. Keep up the good work. Thank-you.

Granted, this story is unlikely, but I'd like to believe it was true. The people, except for Mark, seem like actual people. Even we who enjoy revenge and payback tales gotta relate to this story.

One thing that shines in this story is the good heart of the author. Thank you for a good, solid story.

My preference was for a little sex scene between him and Bev, we waded through three chapters awaiting that. Also I would have like for Mark to have a definite sentence in prison, not just "taken away by the police" or something like that.

Otherwise an excellent story.

He got there on time - he was rich, he was actually better than he seemed at first -

If those things were not true he would not have had a story worth reading -

It is like actual history - we do not write long treatises on the guys who just survived "back then" we write them about the heroes, the devils, the special times, etc. Nobody wants to memorize dates and names for people who almost made history - same here this is the story of the guy who was, there, rich, good -

Nicely done - you need to loosen up a bit on the dialogue but the other story I read (so far) did better at that so I suspect you are doing well without my help lol

Not one of my favorites of yours. The passage of time in this story seems a bit problematic. I also find it hard to imagine that he is clueless about her having discomfort over his marriage. It seemed obvious, especially given she ran out crying after he told her he was married. And was it a full semester later that he goes back to her, or later that night?

Good story.....well written.

I probably slammed you quite a bit with my review on the original this rewrite was based on and I'm sorry for that. That doesn't change the fact that I was right, though. With a bit of effort and an editor, look what good work you've been able to do!

God that was boring!

Good storyline but the characters need expanded and it kind of plodded. It could easily been expanded to 3 chapters of 5 or 6 pages each, All it would have taken is a little more background on the characters, expanding the interworking's between Mark and Erika, Going into a little more detail on their plot, and stretching out Bev and James relationship a little. I really like the plot of the story. Find yourself a good editor to help you rework it and resubmit it and I think it will be better received. That said it gets 3 stars for the effort.

Of course, I like the sex parts well enough (why else would I be on this site?) but stories without wall-to-wall sex can be good, also. A good description goes a long way. Thank you, Jake, for writing this.

I already commented once so I just did not add my name on this one.

just a bit jumbled.

how long was he married? He and Beverly had their meeting at the end of her first semester. Then he was married. Somewhere along the way he discovered Mark and his wife together, the length of time seemed substantial, but had to be less than a single semester because almost immediately we are at the next end of semester meeting. From there we jump to James and Bev in her apartment. and then five years (+-) to the birth of their first child as she completes her masters. The details were murky and confusing.

The plot is fine but the personal interactions and the resolution of the love affair

were done in a very abrupt manner.

Clumsily written.

Annon never likes anything so I would put them aside. This is a place where you get to practice and learn what makes a good story. Your story had real promise, not as polished as some but you still had a story, it made it much better reading.

Stay with it, you have the important part, you can polish the rest.

Great story Jake - I loved the entire saga and it was ver well written - Thanks!

We don't seem to run across many well written "feel good" stories lately. I understand why but I certainly enjoy a happy story that is well written with some different twists and turns. This one really hit the spot. Well Done and a 5 for me. BK

One thing I can't understand in most stories on here is the frequent mention of dead scotch whiskey which is way beyond its' use by date. 1 year, 40 years or a couple of centuries, it still reminds me of the smells encountered in a mortuary as the coroner is doing a postmortem.

Has to be an acquired taste. I can't feature someone drinking something tasting so vile as to remind me of dead people.

Otherwise, a great story.

thanks for this !

... but dreadful writing.

After a couple of weeks...

After the police took Mark away ....

After getting her installed...

After a few awkward moments, James said...

After driving around for a while...

After eating they sat on the grass...

JR for once I have come across someone who when they write a story you feel fully involved and playing a part of it. Randi is one other writer who does that to me and all I can say is get your nose to the wheel and get writing for as long as you write I for one will read it.

Many thanks for allowing us to share your stories. Iceman

Thanks for the nice story- I was worried there would be more tragedy, but things were headed off and everything came out all right in the end. Sure, it's not complex, but sometimes you just need a happy ending story without too much heartache in the middle.

Good story. My thoughts are that you laid out way too vigorous of a plot in the first installment, and then kept it moving along...and wound up with too much to close out in an equally good manner. Good story. Lots of buildup, and not enough closing down.

A good tale. The flow of the story was a bit jumpy going from seen to seen.

My biggest disappointment was that I found it hard to believe that she knew nothing of Mark, Erika, the plans, etc.

The problem I found was that your story developed slowly but ended in a rush. Tales worth telling will stand a the detail of the early stages being carried through to the end. Please continue but learn from experience.

A decency written story and an interesting and plausible plot, but it was all a little predictable and lacking in subtly and plausible alternative plot directions. Not a bad piece of work - but could have been better with a little more thought.

LA

Well written and good story but the reveal about the plot and outcome all happened very quickly as if you wanted it out of the way. I actually felt for Erica who was being manipulated by Mark. I would have liked a bit more about her after the reveal. However well done for a good story.

Quick.last chapter, but at least he got a shot at Mark and ended up with Beverly in the end. Good story.

Tease your readers more. Great story. Good job. 5

This was a great story, finished a bit abruptly but that's ok. Only 4 stars because all these stories have men clueless and drinking. This seems to be a plot problem for a bunch of authers.

Rich boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy gets cheated on and divorces (annulment) wife, man gets revenge on wife and fuckwad, man discovers true love, true love marries man and they live happily ever after. Damned good story. Should have taken Bev to Bronson Hospital just a couple of miles towards downtown, incidentaly just a mile or less from Bronson. The best hotel in Kazoo is the Radisson downtown, which is where Bobby Hatfield of the Righteous Brothers died from a heart attack brought on by an overdose of cocaine in I believe 2003 . He was found in bed shortly before a scheduled concert at the Miller Auditorium on the Western Michigan campus. Except for a conflict I would have been at that concert, Miller is a great venue, saw Henry Mancini and his orchestra there in the early '80's. This is a very good story, will be reading more and wondering why you quit posting. Signed: BTW

Read the story enjoyed the story

Wonderful story! Erica was a slut gold-digger and Mark was a selfish, scheming asshole. Beverly, though brought up poor with very few possessions, loved him for HIM and ended up being a true wife and mother to his children. All stories should end like that!!

Great story, but I felt the ending was rushed.

Mark got his, that scheming asswipe. Erica was in on asswipe's plan, but said she fell in love with James. James met his real wife, his student, and she told him the way it was going to be, she's his wife and his children's mother.Beverly was his real wife from the time she told him he was staying the night. she had her wife panties on, she didn't ASK, she TOLD him!

I would have preferred a "longer, detailed ending". Good story, though.

Story very well told. At some time in the future, please expand your story. Your story ends too abruptly .

Liked your story, although I found the ending was rushed. 4 stars

Keep writing!!!!!0

Nice romantic story. Not to taxing, just about right scores 4/5

This was so different (in a very good way) then anything I have read on this site. well written. You should write more like it.

How is this rated so high? It is alright but there are far better stories on here with worse scores. The writing is choppy and doesn't flow and the ending was rushed. It is a solid 3.5, nowhere near where it is being rated.

Great story

5 stars. Could have added a bit more "meat" in places. (More words, deeper descriptions, a bit longer in the story). But hell, I can't write for crap, so ignore my suggestions and keep on writing please.

Nice story. Really enjoyed having a more complex plot than many of the shorter stories.

Thank you for your writing.

This one has it all, good guy gets the gal, bad guy gets what is coming to him and a whole lot of action along the way. Really enjoyable read. Great job, Author!

I liked the story although it felt a little distant. Too much time in his head, maybe? The wrap was too quick and more than a little trite, imho. I don't write fiction so take my comments with a full peck of salt.

Nice story with good flow and direction. James was a good. M/C and lived up to his deveopment.

Good, but this chapter seemed rushed...

What a great love story.

Ed

accceptable. rk

👍👍👌😉🤔🤷😁🍻

Good ending 5*****

Nothing says trailer trash like a grown man calling a woman “girl”.