It gives me hope. This was rambling at times, somewhat disjointed, and could have used better thinking on the defendent's speech. After all, DAN didn't know they were invited over and his wife certainly didn't notify him of this fact. He was making acting with REASONABLE doubt.
That said, you work has progressed since this early effort. Even this wasn't difficult to read. Your later works show much more polish and, to borrow a carpetner's phrase, you can't see the joints in your newer works.
You don't know the first thing about it. Nobody expects a harvard professor expertise in an author but... just skip it the next time, I am sure you can construct good stories without courts or law enforcement officials.
Considering your writing style I have to say that this was pretty bad. The dialogue was more than corny, especially in court. Maybe you heard it in your head and thought it sounded cool, It didn't.
Flogged and dogged. But the story is well written, even if it seems strained at times. No one is perfect and even the best selling authors, having some of the best editors, still have stories that many a reader can find flaws with.
I found no real issues with the story, even if some commentators seem to hang their critiques on the expertise of the author when writing whatever outside of their forte.
Aside everything else, this story was both entertaining and and enjoyable to read.
It was a good tale but unrealistic. Dan was put through too much just to say pretend it never happened. No I believe he would have asked for a divorce. I believe in love but sometimes stupidity is hard to overcome and Mary was very stupid in assuming what she did. Also Roger would never take that other cheating wife back. So there goes your happy ending. Fuck it.
I know it was hard for him to make the decision that he made. Mary is an idiot, I guess she learned a big lesson and she is very fortunate that it turned out like it did, her husband could have gone to prison for ten years or so for trying to protect her for something that was all her fault. Thank you for writing. Yes, critics, I realize that it is just a story. I like all of DG's stories but one, I think.
by
Anonymous09/07/13
yes or no
mary did arrange it but was waiting upon dans arrival home to have him say yes or no to the "proposed present" instead it is obvious she was raped
by
Anonymous09/30/13
May I just say.....
Yuck?
Mary is obviously retarded. 'Tards don't know any better (I know, my wife teaches SPED) and so she'll do it again.
by
Anonymous11/19/13
Even though she started it all, she didn't deserve to go through all this. B S
Planning to cuck your husband without his knowledge, going out to bars to find a "bull", having sex with two men the night before, bringing the men home in her nightie, and she was not protesting or fighting the sexual assault when he entered. Tell me again, in what way did she not deserve this. And where is the medical testing and months of retesting, before she can be ruled clean?
Until someone tells you they want a fantasy to become reality, you're an idiot to consider making it...
How many women have rape fantasies...? But they don't want to be REALLY raped... they just maybe want a sort of illusion of rape, not actual violence, maybe just a bit of force...
And this woman as much as said it turns out it wasn't HIS fantasy she was apparently working at making come true but rather her OWN...
Of course, that confuses me... If it turned out SHE had a fantasy about sex with other men the only reason it made sense for her to tell them they had to wait was because THEN she was only trying to make his fantasy come true... but it still left open the fact that at SOME point she'd be willing to have HER fantasy become true...
They may live each other but he shouldn't trust her EVER again...
Of course you have to suspend reality - which is what we all do in fantasies - that is why they should stay fantasies.
He is a forgiving soul and maybe a fool too - but he is likely to be a happy fool - so let he have it.
by
Anonymous06/17/14
cheating
She cheated on him the night before obviously,why did it say she never cheated.
It was fairly well written,but simplified it was just another RAAC,kind of disapointing.
by
Anonymous06/19/14
No going back
I would have kicked the whore into the gutter where she belonged. We can all justify our actions if it suits our purpose. Lets face it even Hitler tried to when commiting one of the greatest crimes of the 20th century. But it don't make it right. No fuck her let the cunt rot. Fantasy is one thing but reality is something else and in most cases never the twain shall meet.
Good read. I think that Mary made her biggest mistake letting Ralph and Jim have a trial run, as it were. That's where the cuckolding began. Based on that alone, Dan should not have forgiven her. Stupid broad! BTB! Cheers!
D.G. as with most all of your stories, this one was well written and good reading. For that, congrats. As for the subject matter, well, lets just say there are quite a few BTB fans. And most of them seemed to read this story... To say that she had cheated the night before, by giving one man a BJ, all one has to do is remember pres. Clinton. Didn't he claim oral sex was NOT actually sex? Shouldn't Mary then be judged that way as well? Hum... seems like most of these critics believe in the" double standard" type rules. Anyways D.G. keep writing stories and I for one will keep reading them.
Slick Willie's claim that oral sex is not sex is a fine bit of rules lawyering semantics, based on sex being narrowly defined as vaginal intercourse with oral and anal being defined as sexual perversion/deviancy.
Note however the word sexual in the terms sexual perversion and sexual deviancy; sexual means pertaining to sex.
They also argued about the meaning of the word "is" in those hearings.
First, as others have said, she had already cheated when she gave the two asshole a "taste".
Also, she herself admitted, to herself if to nobody else, that she was doing what SHE wanted to do, was satisfying her OWN urges, fulfilling HER fantasy.
But then he DOES love her, does believe that she didn't intend to cheat, and does believe that she told them "No" and to stop.
I guess if it was me, she'd be history, but it is his life.
She used the husband's fantasies as an excuse to get a little strange. Without making sure it was something he really wanted to do, she went out looking for another man (or men) to fuck. In the process of doing that she sucked another man's cock. The last I checked, that's sex. She even admits to the hubby that these were her fantasies, not his, so she doesn't even have the flimsy excuse of fulfilling his fantasy. It would be very hard to take her back after such flagrant disrespect. In the dialog with the other men, they disrespected him several times and she never defended her husband once. I would have a very hard time going back to a wife that obviously had no respect for me.
Hard to believe that someone could write a stupider or more unrealistic story. All the characters are offensive to good sense.
by
Anonymous07/17/15
I'm with KarenE on this one.
I wish I were more certain about what Mary will do next time she has an itch for a threesome. The fact that she still uses Dan's fantasies as an excuse for having pursued her own fantasy leaves me unsure how well this will work.
But they are not rapists, at least in this situation. She sought them out, and offered herself. She let them feel her up, she gave them, and received oral sex. She invited them to her bedroom, having explicitly told, and having the night before, shown them, that she wanted sex with them. She never told them 'No, I don't want this'. She never told them she wouldn't have sex with them. She told them to 'Wait until her husband got home to watch'. That indicates that she was all for the sex, but merely wanted her audience present. That doesn't sound like rape. In no court, would those two guys be indicted. She admitted on tape, that she realized that she was doing it more for herself, than her husband.
I think rape is one of the most disgusting and evil crimes a man can commit, and is NEVER punished accordingly. Its a crime that has a lifelong effect on the victim, and the punishment should reflect that.
On the other hand, accusing an innocent man of such an evil act, is just as despicable, and that tag of rapist follows an innocent man to his grave.
As I said, those guys were assholes, but they didn't rape her, because she was willing.
by
Anonymous08/31/15
RAPE
@krosis666 you must not be a very good lawyer, the word is the turning point of the case WAIT is a version of NO, STOP is a version of NO and No is the word. Regardless of her actions the day prior all day the last hour or the last few seconds the instant she said any of those words it became rape.. The definitive of the act as taught by law schools is, Can a prostitute be raped? If you have paid her/him and she/he refuses to perform you cannot force the act and say it was a consensual act if you do you have raped the prostitute all you can do is file charges of theft against the prostitute. Your definition of it as not a rape is wrong and any attorney even one you have hired as your defense will tell you so.
by
Anonymous09/14/15
whore
That fucking whore and her cockold loving husband 1*
by
Anonymous10/10/15
Quite a good idea for a story and I have no problem with reconciliation but
It was not well written. The grammar was poor and the writing style very immature. Your writing does seem to have improved when I have read later stories but there is a long way to go from here. Only 3*
by
Anonymous10/21/15
Fairly well done. The writing could use some help
But I can't get it out of my mind that she brought those men over and fully intended to fuck them. I don't see how he ever trusts her again. while the story was okay, the ending was horrible. No way he does anything but divorce her.
by
Anonymous10/24/15
This cuck and slut deserves each other. Luring the two men and then trying to charge them with rape is really low. I tried to warn a black man I knew who fucked a married white slut for over a year. when her traveling husband came home unexpectedly and caught them, the lying slut cried rape. He wound up getting life in prison.
...but it has potential. There are several issues that I felt needed addressing. Why was Mary so turned on by the idea? And more importantly, how is she going to handle the idea in the future? She was a virgin going into it. And she has at least one friend who has been "sampling". Given time, the conversation would come around to "yes, but not all men are rapists and sometimes the sex can be pretty good..."
I think what my own misgivings about this story come down to is that it felt incomplete. This would have been a great "outline" or bullet point for a longer more detailed story. I don't think you go from being on trial because your wife is a moron to complete forgiveness at the mention of "not guilty"...there's more there. What was it?
Call me a hard ass or a troll but I would still kick her ass into the curb. She had to be brain dead to not make the distinction between fantasy and reality.
And then to defend the ass holes she was fucking was the ultimate betrayal. So fuck her let her stew in her misery forever.
The bitch played now she has to pay!
I sat there alone at my kitchen table, thinking about everything that transpired in the last two months. I did realize that Mary really didn't cheat on me. Huh? Thursday he asked her about going out and she replied "what? don't you trust me" and yet a few hours later she is blowing some guy?? I would say that's cheating! Even she admits it was more for her than him. Poor job by the author making everything mesh.
by
Anonymous07/05/16
2*
Mary is a cheating slut.
She thought all this stupid shit up, talked to her cheating slut friend and fucked around with two men behind her husbands back.
She was raped the next night but she cheated the night before.
This wasn't very good I'm afraid.
by
Anonymous07/15/16
I really find the dialogue of your stories to be stilted. It is almost as if it is a script for a Dragnet episode.
again lack of communication. all is well in the end. I have to think that something as simple as this story was to understand, that it has happened more than once in real life.
by
Anonymous10/03/16
Nope, nobody can be as stupid as this wife...
She, at the very least, cheated on Thursday night, don't know why the husband had no problem with it. Meeting a couple of guys in a bar, going back to their house to be felt up and have oral sex - that's called cheating. She even admitted it was for her and she was looking forward to having sex with two other guys.
I would have gotten rid of her, she definitely cheated and you can't fix stupid. Let's hope he never wishes he had a fireplace, she'll use gasoline to build a fire in the front room.
This story really didn't make much sense. At the beginning, Mary seems to be a smart, well balanced woman. Then she goes nuts and tries to cuckold her husband - who never ever requested it, and do it on his 50th birthday as a surprise. How can she be that stupid? It's just not possible. I guess he stayed with her because of the kids, the fact that it's easier to stick around than to go through all the trouble of a divorce, and the way she helped out during the trial. Regardless of why, their relationship is forever changed. It can never be the same. In real life, this would weigh on them, I doubt if they could make it.
by
Anonymous10/28/16
Hey, Author......
You are a fucking ass hole! You still made Dan A BIG FUCKING WIMP!
The story started out well enough then turned it into a wimp holiday!
by
Anonymous11/01/16
DIVORCE COURT!
After being found Not Guilty, Dan should now be in Divorce Court divorcing his wife...not being the cuckold, wimp, wuss you made him out to be..
by
Anonymous11/20/16
at the end of the day
she was just a cheating slut whore as she had sex with the guys before the set up....they thought it ok to screw her and she was probably enjoying it until hubby walked in and hammered them...then the shit hit the fan and a load of bullshit lies were told in court.....just doesn't do it for me...too much cheating and lying going on...he was just a pathetic wuss.....
by
Anonymous12/13/16
HEE HARR NOW THATS A FINISH
She-it man! This is a very good story! Fuuuuuck mee man! If I saw my wife getting raped ! I would not use my fists. I love baseball and its hickory"from a Mel Gibson movie SIGNS swing away Merrell". Thars what I would do? Fuck em up good and proper! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.
by
Anonymous02/12/17
Raped or not she had sex with them already and was going to do it again in front of her husband. No way in hell I stay married to her. She is a mental case.
English
You've made great progress as a writer
It gives me hope. This was rambling at times, somewhat disjointed, and could have used better thinking on the defendent's speech. After all, DAN didn't know they were invited over and his wife certainly didn't notify him of this fact. He was making acting with REASONABLE doubt.
That said, you work has progressed since this early effort. Even this wasn't difficult to read. Your later works show much more polish and, to borrow a carpetner's phrase, you can't see the joints in your newer works.
You really should stop using law in your stories.
You don't know the first thing about it. Nobody expects a harvard professor expertise in an author but... just skip it the next time, I am sure you can construct good stories without courts or law enforcement officials.
Considering your writing style I have to say that this was pretty bad. The dialogue was more than corny, especially in court. Maybe you heard it in your head and thought it sounded cool, It didn't.
3*
Credo quia absurdum est
Flogged and dogged. But the story is well written, even if it seems strained at times. No one is perfect and even the best selling authors, having some of the best editors, still have stories that many a reader can find flaws with.
I found no real issues with the story, even if some commentators seem to hang their critiques on the expertise of the author when writing whatever outside of their forte.
Aside everything else, this story was both entertaining and and enjoyable to read.
I've read this story
Over a dozen time & I still love it.. Especially the ending... 5 stars all the way
I wouldn't
want to be married to a woman that stupid.
she slipped her fantacy,her mistake
could never forgive her stupidity. whar a dumb wife.. seperate and divorce
Damn
It was a good tale but unrealistic. Dan was put through too much just to say pretend it never happened. No I believe he would have asked for a divorce. I believe in love but sometimes stupidity is hard to overcome and Mary was very stupid in assuming what she did. Also Roger would never take that other cheating wife back. So there goes your happy ending. Fuck it.
GIVING SUPRISES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JOYFUL
and when its family double so. if its what he truly wants, TK U MLJ LV NV
Different
The cock sucking was cheating the bedroom at her home was rape.
so who killed Ralph?
I think Roger killed Ralph.
Yes, DG, it worked out right.
I know it was hard for him to make the decision that he made. Mary is an idiot, I guess she learned a big lesson and she is very fortunate that it turned out like it did, her husband could have gone to prison for ten years or so for trying to protect her for something that was all her fault. Thank you for writing. Yes, critics, I realize that it is just a story. I like all of DG's stories but one, I think.
yes or no
mary did arrange it but was waiting upon dans arrival home to have him say yes or no to the "proposed present" instead it is obvious she was raped
May I just say.....
Yuck?
Mary is obviously retarded. 'Tards don't know any better (I know, my wife teaches SPED) and so she'll do it again.
Even though she started it all, she didn't deserve to go through all this. B S
Planning to cuck your husband without his knowledge, going out to bars to find a "bull", having sex with two men the night before, bringing the men home in her nightie, and she was not protesting or fighting the sexual assault when he entered. Tell me again, in what way did she not deserve this. And where is the medical testing and months of retesting, before she can be ruled clean?
nothing
good to say about this wimp out story
Ugh..
Just plain nasty. A fairly revolting story where a husband goes back to a skank that he should move across the country to get away from.
Umm..not planning to cheat, huh?
What about the night before the planned "cucking"? She was sucking cocks that night too! Skanky twats and wimpy husbands galore in this one.
Yeah..... uh huh...right...
Until someone tells you they want a fantasy to become reality, you're an idiot to consider making it...
How many women have rape fantasies...? But they don't want to be REALLY raped... they just maybe want a sort of illusion of rape, not actual violence, maybe just a bit of force...
And this woman as much as said it turns out it wasn't HIS fantasy she was apparently working at making come true but rather her OWN...
Of course, that confuses me... If it turned out SHE had a fantasy about sex with other men the only reason it made sense for her to tell them they had to wait was because THEN she was only trying to make his fantasy come true... but it still left open the fact that at SOME point she'd be willing to have HER fantasy become true...
They may live each other but he shouldn't trust her EVER again...
Wow - OK then
It pretty much works -
Of course you have to suspend reality - which is what we all do in fantasies - that is why they should stay fantasies.
He is a forgiving soul and maybe a fool too - but he is likely to be a happy fool - so let he have it.
cheating
She cheated on him the night before obviously,why did it say she never cheated.
It was fairly well written,but simplified it was just another RAAC,kind of disapointing.
No going back
I would have kicked the whore into the gutter where she belonged. We can all justify our actions if it suits our purpose. Lets face it even Hitler tried to when commiting one of the greatest crimes of the 20th century. But it don't make it right. No fuck her let the cunt rot. Fantasy is one thing but reality is something else and in most cases never the twain shall meet.
*****
Good read. I think that Mary made her biggest mistake letting Ralph and Jim have a trial run, as it were. That's where the cuckolding began. Based on that alone, Dan should not have forgiven her. Stupid broad! BTB! Cheers!
To Be Or Not To Be...
D.G. as with most all of your stories, this one was well written and good reading. For that, congrats. As for the subject matter, well, lets just say there are quite a few BTB fans. And most of them seemed to read this story... To say that she had cheated the night before, by giving one man a BJ, all one has to do is remember pres. Clinton. Didn't he claim oral sex was NOT actually sex? Shouldn't Mary then be judged that way as well? Hum... seems like most of these critics believe in the" double standard" type rules. Anyways D.G. keep writing stories and I for one will keep reading them.
oral sex not sex ??
Slick Willie's claim that oral sex is not sex is a fine bit of rules lawyering semantics, based on sex being narrowly defined as vaginal intercourse with oral and anal being defined as sexual perversion/deviancy.
Note however the word sexual in the terms sexual perversion and sexual deviancy; sexual means pertaining to sex.
They also argued about the meaning of the word "is" in those hearings.
What a wimp
Both the leading character and the writer.
Unsure On This One
First, as others have said, she had already cheated when she gave the two asshole a "taste".
Also, she herself admitted, to herself if to nobody else, that she was doing what SHE wanted to do, was satisfying her OWN urges, fulfilling HER fantasy.
But then he DOES love her, does believe that she didn't intend to cheat, and does believe that she told them "No" and to stop.
I guess if it was me, she'd be history, but it is his life.
A MANS HOME IS SUPPOSED TO BE HIS CASTLE
but sometimes the Moat can be breached. TK U MLJ LV NV
She cheated
She used the husband's fantasies as an excuse to get a little strange. Without making sure it was something he really wanted to do, she went out looking for another man (or men) to fuck. In the process of doing that she sucked another man's cock. The last I checked, that's sex. She even admits to the hubby that these were her fantasies, not his, so she doesn't even have the flimsy excuse of fulfilling his fantasy. It would be very hard to take her back after such flagrant disrespect. In the dialog with the other men, they disrespected him several times and she never defended her husband once. I would have a very hard time going back to a wife that obviously had no respect for me.
Stupid
Hard to believe that someone could write a stupider or more unrealistic story. All the characters are offensive to good sense.
I'm with KarenE on this one.
I wish I were more certain about what Mary will do next time she has an itch for a threesome. The fact that she still uses Dan's fantasies as an excuse for having pursued her own fantasy leaves me unsure how well this will work.
The two guys maybe assholes
But they are not rapists, at least in this situation. She sought them out, and offered herself. She let them feel her up, she gave them, and received oral sex. She invited them to her bedroom, having explicitly told, and having the night before, shown them, that she wanted sex with them. She never told them 'No, I don't want this'. She never told them she wouldn't have sex with them. She told them to 'Wait until her husband got home to watch'. That indicates that she was all for the sex, but merely wanted her audience present. That doesn't sound like rape. In no court, would those two guys be indicted. She admitted on tape, that she realized that she was doing it more for herself, than her husband.
I think rape is one of the most disgusting and evil crimes a man can commit, and is NEVER punished accordingly. Its a crime that has a lifelong effect on the victim, and the punishment should reflect that.
On the other hand, accusing an innocent man of such an evil act, is just as despicable, and that tag of rapist follows an innocent man to his grave.
As I said, those guys were assholes, but they didn't rape her, because she was willing.
RAPE
@krosis666 you must not be a very good lawyer, the word is the turning point of the case WAIT is a version of NO, STOP is a version of NO and No is the word. Regardless of her actions the day prior all day the last hour or the last few seconds the instant she said any of those words it became rape.. The definitive of the act as taught by law schools is, Can a prostitute be raped? If you have paid her/him and she/he refuses to perform you cannot force the act and say it was a consensual act if you do you have raped the prostitute all you can do is file charges of theft against the prostitute. Your definition of it as not a rape is wrong and any attorney even one you have hired as your defense will tell you so.
whore
That fucking whore and her cockold loving husband 1*
Quite a good idea for a story and I have no problem with reconciliation but
It was not well written. The grammar was poor and the writing style very immature. Your writing does seem to have improved when I have read later stories but there is a long way to go from here. Only 3*
Fairly well done. The writing could use some help
But I can't get it out of my mind that she brought those men over and fully intended to fuck them. I don't see how he ever trusts her again. while the story was okay, the ending was horrible. No way he does anything but divorce her.
This cuck and slut deserves each other. Luring the two men and then trying to charge them with rape is really low. I tried to warn a black man I knew who fucked a married white slut for over a year. when her traveling husband came home unexpectedly and caught them, the lying slut cried rape. He wound up getting life in prison.
Jury is still out on this one
...but it has potential. There are several issues that I felt needed addressing. Why was Mary so turned on by the idea? And more importantly, how is she going to handle the idea in the future? She was a virgin going into it. And she has at least one friend who has been "sampling". Given time, the conversation would come around to "yes, but not all men are rapists and sometimes the sex can be pretty good..."
I think what my own misgivings about this story come down to is that it felt incomplete. This would have been a great "outline" or bullet point for a longer more detailed story. I don't think you go from being on trial because your wife is a moron to complete forgiveness at the mention of "not guilty"...there's more there. What was it?
SOONER OR LATER EACH MISTAKE
has to be rectified and justified. TK U MLJ LV NV
Well
Call me a hard ass or a troll but I would still kick her ass into the curb. She had to be brain dead to not make the distinction between fantasy and reality.
And then to defend the ass holes she was fucking was the ultimate betrayal. So fuck her let her stew in her misery forever.
The bitch played now she has to pay!
Don't think so
I sat there alone at my kitchen table, thinking about everything that transpired in the last two months. I did realize that Mary really didn't cheat on me. Huh? Thursday he asked her about going out and she replied "what? don't you trust me" and yet a few hours later she is blowing some guy?? I would say that's cheating! Even she admits it was more for her than him. Poor job by the author making everything mesh.
2*
Mary is a cheating slut.
She thought all this stupid shit up, talked to her cheating slut friend and fucked around with two men behind her husbands back.
She was raped the next night but she cheated the night before.
This wasn't very good I'm afraid.
I really find the dialogue of your stories to be stilted. It is almost as if it is a script for a Dragnet episode.
good story
again lack of communication. all is well in the end. I have to think that something as simple as this story was to understand, that it has happened more than once in real life.
Nope, nobody can be as stupid as this wife...
She, at the very least, cheated on Thursday night, don't know why the husband had no problem with it. Meeting a couple of guys in a bar, going back to their house to be felt up and have oral sex - that's called cheating. She even admitted it was for her and she was looking forward to having sex with two other guys.
I would have gotten rid of her, she definitely cheated and you can't fix stupid. Let's hope he never wishes he had a fireplace, she'll use gasoline to build a fire in the front room.
This story really didn't make much sense. At the beginning, Mary seems to be a smart, well balanced woman. Then she goes nuts and tries to cuckold her husband - who never ever requested it, and do it on his 50th birthday as a surprise. How can she be that stupid? It's just not possible. I guess he stayed with her because of the kids, the fact that it's easier to stick around than to go through all the trouble of a divorce, and the way she helped out during the trial. Regardless of why, their relationship is forever changed. It can never be the same. In real life, this would weigh on them, I doubt if they could make it.
Hey, Author......
You are a fucking ass hole! You still made Dan A BIG FUCKING WIMP!
The story started out well enough then turned it into a wimp holiday!
DIVORCE COURT!
After being found Not Guilty, Dan should now be in Divorce Court divorcing his wife...not being the cuckold, wimp, wuss you made him out to be..
at the end of the day
she was just a cheating slut whore as she had sex with the guys before the set up....they thought it ok to screw her and she was probably enjoying it until hubby walked in and hammered them...then the shit hit the fan and a load of bullshit lies were told in court.....just doesn't do it for me...too much cheating and lying going on...he was just a pathetic wuss.....
HEE HARR NOW THATS A FINISH
She-it man! This is a very good story! Fuuuuuck mee man! If I saw my wife getting raped ! I would not use my fists. I love baseball and its hickory"from a Mel Gibson movie SIGNS swing away Merrell". Thars what I would do? Fuck em up good and proper! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.
Raped or not she had sex with them already and was going to do it again in front of her husband. No way in hell I stay married to her. She is a mental case.
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