All Comments on 'Summer (1 & 2)'

You should drop by the Poetry forum and maybe get an exercise thread started, based on these. :)

I quite like Summer 1; Summer 2 is, I think, not as good.

I particularly liked the first line/last line repeat in #1. That's an effect that often doesn't work for me, but I think you make it work pretty well here.

Nice exercise. I may try it.

-tz

Very well put.....and very loving with lots of tenderness.

Where so many stumble and mumble, you navigate with a steady hand in all intimacy roads. whether it's down a soft breast, tracing a sweat drop or all the way to the heat within. It'a as innocent as a childrens rhyme and as erotic as children first innocent exploration game.<P>

All you did was taking the aid of a poetic form, the rest is you. If anything the technical guide helps you expressing yourself even if you think that it's just an exercise. No matter what uou do all you can bring is always -you. So please do not heed the advice you were given here and stay with writing poems not meta threads.