Loving Wives

I take offense!!!!

Dear Folly of Nemo,
As someone who has had a monogamous,christian, and moral relationship for many years with a shit covered woman buried in portapotty, I take extreme umbrage with the implication that it is as extreme as necrophilia. dead people????!!!?that's sick. maybe i could understand if they were buried ina potrapotty, that could be hot.anyway, you're a perv, dude.

love,
johnny blue

There is only one way to end the negative comments

Honestly I feel there is only one way to end the negative or hatefull comments in the Loving Wives section. That is for authors to be considerate enough to actually warn and be completely clear as to what type of story they are presenting.

Some authors have actually taken the extra few seconds to do this. To let readers know that this is a cheating story but with revenge or consenquences or with the characaters getting back together in the end. Others have been kind and respectfull enough to let readers know ahead of time that their story is a wimp husband story or a story about men that get off seeing their wives with other men.

By warning people ahead of time you give the reader a choice of reading the story or not. After that there should be no reason for negative or hatefull comments from people wasting time on something they didn't enjoy.

There honestly really needs to be sub-sections in the "Loving Wives" part of this site. No other sections gets this much confusion at all. Honestly when I first came here I never checked out the section, it was only recently and evne then I actually thought that section was for wives that actually loved their husbands. I had read few in other sections that would fit that way of thinking. Like a wife bringing in another woman for her husband to have a threesome, or her being extra romantic for him so the two fo them can spend a great night alone, her supporting him in some emotional situation, etc. That was my impression first off. There was never anything to make me think otherwise until I had the unpleasant task of reading a few stories that were anything but what I thought.

Through trial and error I've found authors that actually fit what I though the Loving Wives section was and authors that do write about cheating but deal with revenge, couples getting together again after a long period of pain, etc, or just not getting back again. This is mainly for the emotions the characters go through more then anything since the really good ones have a lot of effort.

I can actually understand the negative comments though due to going into a story or section you thought was something else. It's one thing to accept these things. Hell, everyone has different turn ons, but is it to much to ask for a simpley warning first?

The author already knows what their story is about since they wrote it. Less then 30 seconds is all it would take for them to put a warning at the top of the story. Is that so hard and to much to ask?

Story codes will do it!

Yeah, I agree with Effect! Give us a an idea what the story contains, and those of us who find the whole "wimp, weak, pathetic husband" genre offensive, won't bother to even open the story. Not much to ask, and will end a lot of aggravation and frustration.

Tim C.

Freedom For All - Except Those Who Differ?

I'm sorry - well no I'm not - You preach but deny - what is your real point - let the writer suffer no response when someone is offended? Is this to be a one way street as some authors insist? Reflect on the words "Freedom Of Speech young one as your spirit is misdirected within your own text.

Pause and think about this! Do you wish respect for your effort here? Do you like being respected in your daily life? Do you desire respect above disregard? Do you respect your wife? Do you think she respects you? Why?

Do you see that there can be arousing sensuality without disrespect? Regarding disrespect, who do you cheer for the thief, the killer, the rapist, or do you wish for some consequence - some balance - a twinkle of justice - or at least some remorse? Oh cmon, you say - it's just a story - a fantasy!

So, while you are jacking off to a story would you agree it aroused some emotion in you? Would you say the story seemed believable enough to cause you some arousal - then admit that it causes different emotions in different readers.

So in fairness, your read was a rant about the rights of others which you exercised but tried to qualify to a select viewpoint - Who died and made you a supreme court justice?

Think about it - when you disrespect the rights of others you disrespect yourself don't you! Kinda like some of these Loving Wife stories that disrespect every character and most semi-normal readers - and in the end the very writers who dedicate themselves to disrespect at every opportunity.

Perhaps the "Like It or Hate it" comments and scoring are the only consequences possible eh.

P.S. - A header qualification in and of itself doesn't grant relief from comment should it? It's a tease to read how bad or sick it might be!

with some respect for your courage but no Regard for your viewpoint.

EFFECT MAKES PERFECT SENSE

When i first started coming to this site, i to thaught that the loving wives section was about stories of wives that loved there husbands. Wives that did something, romantic,affectionate,exciting for the husband. But after reading some of the stories i knew diffrently. Alot of you keep saying that if people don't like these type of stories than not to read them. Well to those of you that say that, let me say this. How the hell are we going to know what type of story it is dumbass's, but like another person commented, if we new what type of story it was than we wouldn't even bother. Some author's do let us know that its a story about a wimpy,cuckold,pathetic husband. I thank those author's because i don't have to waste my time reading it.It would be nice if all author's let us know what type of story it was. A story where the wife cheats and there are consequences/revenge or both. A story about a wimpy,cuckold husband. A Story where a wife cheats and gets away with it. Anyway they want to do it but it would be great if they gave us a warning of some sort.

Good Essay

Thee are anonymous readers that bad-mouth EVERY story. I'm convinced they are the same.

How about a limit of three negative comments per week per individual commenter?

There is no need for negative comments except to make constructive criticism of the writing and NOT of the story line. You don't like the storyline??? Get the hell out of the story!!!

It's really fun trying to guess the outcome of the authors story! Some are real mysterys and not easy!

I thought this review was quite good, actually.

one consequence

It's worth remembering stories are usually fun to write. Sharing them by posting to LIterotica was a bonus, most especially if feedback and votes indicated the author's efforts were appreciated.

My stories were often in the loving wife grouping, and were mostly well received, nearly all were rated hot. I did track voting. It takes a lot of 5s to drag a 1 up to an average of 4.5, and towards the end (I stopped posting the end of 2004) posting stopped being fun. Literotica lost an author. I later just pulled the stories (we're obligated to keep prize winning stories posted for a year, others can be removed at any time). The nice thing about hotmail accounts is that when they are not opened for a few months they expire, so any author link I had to Literotica is long gone as well.

The personal satisfaction for me is that those who like to sling their barbs have one fewer target, and for them it's that one author no longer posts on literotica. That's win win. There are losers: the general readership lost an entertaining story or two -- actually about 30 of them, although some still remain over at assm.

I still like reading other writer's efforts, obviously. Thy just are more tolerant than I am.

Tonytony3

The Category Title is Misleading...Loving Wives

Yes, yes there are different kinds of loving but really what first comes to mind? The 'Loving Wives' category range is so wide that individuals expecting a certain type of story can get something quite different or unwanted. As Effect and others have pointed out a few moments by the author to explain (without revealing the story line) of what kind of story it is would (should!) mitigate a lot of negative comments.

For those individuals who, after being warned beforehand, then choose to go to a erotic literature site, read a story with elements that they are admamently opposed to, and then write a scathing review or rude comments in the hopes of changing other readers' minds who are looking for that kind of story...well, they have issues that I cannot begin to address.

agree

It exolains part of the problem well. I actually believe that the "Loving Wives" catagory should have a few sub catagories.ie1. consenual, 2. blackmail, 3. revenge.,4. non erotic,5. etc. Thanks for a thought provoking write.

More

The story codes here and at erotic stories are all different. Storiesonline.net and ASSTR seem to be more consistant with reality.

It would be nice to see the category changes to look like ASSTR but each site seems to want to be unique in their story descriptions. For what reasons, I do not know. Slutwife, cuckold,wimp, cheat, wife sharing, mdom and femdom are all readily recognizable as traits. However they all could be placed in the category "slutwife"

HOWEVER, It's their site and we are guests here, so the old STFU rule shall apply. lol In other words, "Deal With It."

Oh, well.

*Me? I think my loving wife could spread her legs and give peeks once in awhile, idea gets me hot even if it's just for me..

She won't, in fact, she won't do anything...at all. Like so many other wives. Not "supposed" to, you see.

So I live here in my head as life races away to never return.

Like so many of the rest of us, this yarn spinner writes for himself.

Nice article. yep. Need more catagories.

MGM

I've been saying that for awhile.

I understand what you're saying about the need for splitting the "Loving Wives" category, but the problem is also the crowd that reads it. Too many of them just want to spew their hate at the author, especially if the author dares to take the story in ANY other direction than divorcing the wife and making her suffer for life. I read these comments and it's getting to the point of absurdity! People seem to forget that it's just a story.

It's sad to hear authors like tonytony3 talk about how they decided to stop posting after the frustration gets to them. Literotica needs to reorganize the "Loving Wives" section, since there are obviously people who don't know what it means. If something is not done, I think more and more authors will stop posting here, and everyone loses when that happens. I also think there are plenty of new authors who decide not to post here after they see the moronic stupidity of some of the comments on this site.

Another thing Lit needs to crack down on are the racist comments that are posted here. Of course the person who makes the comment is always anonymous, showing how much of a coward they really are.

LAY ON MACDUFF

I have been writting for a short time. i never ask for votes. i ask for comments. i ask why the story is good or bad.

Close the story to comments if you fear the comments.

i think by now i have a bit of a reputation. Readers who have read me know that most (excepting A loving wife dies) are cheating wife and revenge (a divorce or keep her around to see how things are without heror them or to see how ewel, the hubby is doing)

I accept all comments as a way to improve my writting. the ones who scream, yell or insult me are still in the comments section. i delete nothing but repeats.

i write for ME! i wish others to read so i post. I accept whatever they say.

i will not read some stories. i can identify them quickly. i read romance, exotic couplings, but mostly loving wives.

i like stroies like the stories i write.

to tonytony3 farewell. go in peace. take your fragile ego and pack it away somewhere safe and secure. you also should give up writing for a public that MAY not like what you do.find people who will only sing your praises to the heavens. be the idol of their dreams.

ME? i will stay with my quote from Shakespeare

LAY ON MACDUFF AND DAMNED BE HE WHO CRIES HOLD ENOUGH.

H20wader

Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

Nice essay...

The problem I see is that we see many varied stories in this section, people really don't know what story we will find!!

I have seen stories from romance, non concentual, fetish, BDSM, gay, lesbian, group sex, anal, etc... appear on this section, that negative comments arrise because we come face to a type a story we don't like.

For me, I read the LW because I like to see cheaters get caught and face consequences or get reunited. The bad part is that in this section I will also find about cheaters never caught, about willing cuckolds that will let their wives fuck around, about non willing cuckolds that don't do anything, about dominating slut wives, about bisexual husbands, about blackmailed wives... that I could easily avoid if they had their own section. The difference is that I click them off as soon as I can, but sometimes it is impossible.

Cheers!

Great Essay

Brings up something I've been thinking about for a while.

I'd like to add that I'm VERY frustrated by a certain group of readers... you know they're jerking off as they read the details of the wife's infidelity, but are then angry when the husband doesn't "divorce the bitch".

Clearly there is sexism in our culture. Stories about cheating husbands don't get their own category, and rarely recieve negative attention. Seems there will be 5 or 6 "Hot!" comments for the lone "what about his wife's feelings?" You don't see "I'd divroce the bastard and take him for all he's worth."

Still, I feel like Loving Wives is spoiled by a few bad eggs. I'd love to see the site owners block a few IP addresses... the guy who posts comments about killing cheating wives would be a good start.

meh..

The problem with loving wives is really that its a play on the term "loving". Generally most stories in that section are about cheating, betrayal, cuckolding, etc.. I would think many would get that after reading Lit for awhile. Most real "loving" stories go in "erotic couplings". Sadly because of the system on lit, I think many stories get put into the wrong categories and as well some folks might read stuff they aren't into.

Of course you do have the constant kook critics but you're going to have that everywhere, especially on heated subjects such as fidelity etc..

Hex (too lazy to log in)

Possible meaning of Loving Wives

The name for this category, "Loving Wives", of course, is ironic/sarcastic, because most stories are about infidelity. I also wish this category to be redefined as Adultery, Infidelity, WifeSlut and also, a category should be created for straying husbands, boyfriends, gays and lesbians and even doms or subs who "cheat".

The Story Is The Thing

What should be emphasized is the effectiveness of the story as fiction. In general,if the characters are believable, the plot is surprising or inevitable, the writing is literate---in some fashion---,the sex is steamy and/or vividly described, but not down to the molecular level, and the human emotion is true, then a story is erotic. Loving Wives has the extra burden of social judgment as an ingredient. I prefer revenge stories with reconciliation with the spouses. Authors can certainly write cuckold-wimp stories. There must be an audience for them. I usually abandon that kind of story as soon as it appears to go that way, but the authors shouldn't be unmercifully attacked for writing such a story. And the revenge stories often have very little erotic sex. Cheating is not sexy for the victim of a spouse's infidelity, but the author has the duty to make the cheating interesting to the reader.
My fetish. I guess, in these stories is the thrill of the chase,the building tension,the moment of discovery. Too often that is finished 10 minutes into the movie (if the story was filmed). The revenge factor gets the adrenalin going but,if the story is all cold fury, it makes violence sexy. I like scenarios and situations to be set up well. Sometimes the husband's many discussions about his wife's infidelity can be illuminating, but most of the time it is just filler dialogue, a re-hashing of what the reader knows already, a plodding rather than a plotting of the story.

Who knows what normal is? The world is one giant asylum. Our beliefs and desires are illusions to which we hold tightly. Behavior is sanctioned or condemned by the majority of society or by the powerful few who have their own interests in mind and want to keep a hold on their society. The human mind is crawling with desires and fears and fantasies. What is normal? Maybe there is a Bell Curve for sexual deviance and desire and repression. All desires are not equal. The desire to kill for sexual pleasure like that horrible guy in Wichita, who was sentenced to many consecutive lifeterms today, is not a harmless fetish. Child pornography is bad news. Bestiality isn't exactly mainstream either.
The question of erotic fiction is "What is more important---the sex or the story?" If an author can do both, that's ideal, but if one dominates, which would you rather have dominate---sex or story? Loving Wives stories have a tough time striking a balance. Moral judgment has to be an ingredient of those stories and it pours cold water on the sex. I think coalesco (whatever the byline, though it is important), who is the Shakespeare of Literotica, had sex, had revenge, had plotting. Also, I understand Patricia51 wrote what is considered classic stories here. However, it is tough to do.
Moral judgment? Even the wimp-cuckold stories are making a moral judgment---they endorse "the lifestyle".

I want intelligent, erotic, emotionally-fulfilling and well-crafted stories here. I want them to have some relation to the real world. I'd rather read a story with minimum sex if the story is done well. Sex descriptions can get boring as hell to read if there is no spark in the writing.

My thoughta exactly!

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you have to say. However, I'm also realistic enough to know that human beings are rarely tolerant of ideas different from their own. I think some people just love to hate - any one or any thing - and really get off on making it public!

The category is fine, it's the readers who suck

The Loving Wives definition has to do with adventurous wives and the men who love them. That's an entirely sufficient category description. Sure, it allows in some drab stories about monogamouses who dress up in cellophane to greet hubby at the door, but it certainly encompasses wives who fuck around. I don't mind a range of attitudes from authors in writing about such women. What I mind are the commenters who are pushing a moral agenda. I've seen authors change existing stories to try to satisfy the moralists, and that's sick. There has sprung up a major subgenre catering to revenge fetishists, where the fucking around is described in loving detail, and then the husband, after getting himself off in the closet, sanctimoniously kicks her butt out. That's sick.

I'd say just ignore the assholes, but the assholes vote, and they cheat when they vote. They vote their agenda, not their honest opinion about the quality of the writing. So good stories appear as having lousy average votes merely because several people torched them for their subject matter.

Well, I still guess I say just ignore them. What else can you do?

Absolutely perfect essay

You are 100% right-no one reading any site like this should throw stones. This is a site of freedom of expression but the anger and vidictiveness of some readers who want the wife punished and the man labeled a wimp is appalling and has intimidated some writers who used to write Loving Wifes. I write what I want and if someone doesn't like it they don't have to read it. There are subjects I don't feel comfortable writing about but I don't slam them.

Absolutely perfect essay

You are 100% right-no one reading any site like this should throw stones. This is a site for freedom of expression but the anger and vidictiveness of some readers who want the wife punished and the man labeled a wimp is appalling and has intimidated some writers who used to write Loving Wifes.

I write what I want and if someone doesn't like it they don't have to read it. There are subjects I don't feel comfortable writing about but I don't slam them. It is curious to me that with some of the other controverial topics like incest that there is so much more outrage against a story-FICTION at that- about a man whose wife has sex with other men with his consent.

From the author

From the author:

I'm truly gratified to read all of the honest, open-minded discussion here, even by people who disagree with some of what I said. I can only hope this sense of calm can permeate the entire field, as it's unlikely Literotica is going to change its category structure anytime soon, and we are each guaranteed to accidentally read a story that we really really don't like, as long as we keep reading. Accepting that, maybe the vitrule can stop spilling? A little?

Thank You.

Thank You so much... you expressed exactly what i've been thinking. i've been really gratified lately to see the amount of essays coming out about the assholes who just go around demeaning everything, i know i'm sick of having my stories bombed with "1" votes just because it's about a wife cheating on a husband. or having sex with someone else WHILE having sex with her husband. it's stupid and as intolerant as people who are racist or homophobes in my opinion.

I just wanted to thank you for writing this and for articulating everything so clearly... i'm kinda sad that you don't write erotic storis cuz i bet they would be great ones =)
*HUGS*
angel

here,here

Perhaps we should require a written discussionn of this submission before new members are allowed to leave comments.

Couldn't agree more

As a sometime writer who has received more than his fair share of the negative comments refered to in your excellent essay, I have to add my "hear hear" to the comments. One of the annonomous commenters suggested I could be the new "sickie author", to which I replied........

"With regard to what is sick and/or erotic - well, just take a look at the subject headings. With the possible exception of First Time, would not some people consider all the subjects sick? I think that is the very nature of eroticism - one man's meat, another man's poison and all that.

The purpose of my story was really to try and explore the paradox of a man confronted with his wife's infidelity. Should he intervene and spend his life wondering if she would have taken her liason to its ultimate conclusion, or watch and find out if she really is not the "loving wife" he believed her to be. Sick? Possibly, but I wonder how many men are not intrigued by their wives/girlfriends desires and responses to those desires? How many have not inquired about their fantasies and/or past experiences? It is a grey area - as is the boundary between such activities and swinging - part of the erotic thrill of which must be driving enjoyment from seeing your partner being pleasured by/pleasuring another person.

Just my thoughts for what they are worth. Perhaps the site owners should open another category for me - Sickie Authors - but I suspect that by conventional social mores, we would all end up having to post there"

I often wonder about the readers who persevere to the end of a story which is obviously not to their taste. I wonder about their inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. I wonder about their machismo attitudes and what this really says about their own insecurities. I wonder about the apparent deep seated need for revenge, whilst admitting that some of the stories that would fall into a "revenge" category are often amusing and well written.

Mostly, I just wonder!

Awesome

It is an over-used word today but this was really awesome.
Of course I could have said, "Yes..yes...yes...!!!"

New author, agree wholeheartedly

My very first story I ever wrote was just approved today, and already I have received several comments. Half of those comments are negative, of course. Not because of the writing or the story in general. Instead it is from people who didn't like the idea of the woman being humiliated instead of the man. I just tried to think outside the box, and have received many compliments on my work before I decided to post it on this website. Good thing I have a tough skin. Some people obviously have an agenda and will vote down anything outside their realm of things they deem acceptable.

Agree

Well said!

good essay