All Comments on 'Empty Nest Pt. 01'

Direct and to the point. good short read. Could be expanded with more background and character development.

"Before they left the room, Annie pulled Sam in for one last kiss. "Listen, that was amazing, but we can't do this again," Annie said. "You said that last week too, but you know you can't get enough of this" Sam replied. "I know, but Jason is acting funny and I think he may be getting suspicious and that whole deal with your wife trying to call you last week has got me a little nervous. While this may be amazing, I'm not willing to ruin my marriage for a little sex no matter how good it is." "Okay, I hear you," Sam replied. "you're right, we need to take a break for a while until things settle down. I don't want to lose Cathy either.""

Every time a different character speaks, its a new paragraph, not all together like that. Also, you have some weird word choices and its basically the same as every story on here, there is nothing new here.

A decent starter chapter.

The cheaters only care about their own fun and not getting caught. Nothing to fix, nothing to 'work on'. I hope the spouses that got betrayed find some small happy ending to their wasted years. That's what cheating is. Sometimes it's about bad choices and unbearable guilt, but this isn't that type of story. It's pretty clear cut.

You handled it fantastically... even the dumb slut in the story knows her life and the life of the ass she cheated with are about to slam into a moving freight train at mach 1. So why use a no 1 in the title?

There is no way in hell I’ll give up on 25 years that easily without a fight! Now if she had been slutting around for a lot of the 25 years, that a no brainer. Divorce is imminent. But 25 years and one discretion? I think 25 years is worth saving. To not fight after one discretion is weak hearted. Yeah, you would have legal and moral grounds for divorce, but I think it’s worth a little more investigation into the mind of the wife about how she came to do that, how remorseful she is about it, what she is willing to do to atone for her discretions. This “once a cheater is always a cheater” is BS. People do change. I am an example of that. Based on the longevity of the marriage, it’s worth a shot to fight for it.

Authors, please, unless somehow it really is "not what he thinks," don't have the wife say that. Unless she's dumber that a LW wife has to be she KNOWS that it IS what he thinks, so don't have her insult his (and our!) intelligence by saying that.

After describing such an enthusiastic unbounded repeating fuck fest with Sam, what could be the basis for any explanation, much less any suggestion of reconciliation? The reason that's a problem is that you've just created and described a woman who is completely selfish, unethical, cruel, shallow, arrogant, and very very stupid. Which begs the question, how did the husband conduct a marriage relationship for over 20 years with such an empty soulless whore, and he never had a clue? And I'm sure you're going to tell us or at least imply that up till now she's been a fantastic wife and mother.

You might as well try to convince us that the husband just woke up one morning and found out he was married to an aardvark. "OH my gosh, how was I suppose to know?"

The woman you describe fucking her brains out with a coworker didn't turn into a slut over night. There really aren't any Martians out there.

So I can't wait to see how you explain this wife and mother's transformation into Slutula, over a period of a few weeks, or even months. And the husband had no clue his wife had turned into a monster? An aardvark would be more believable.

Or, like JPB and similar witless writers, just do the "I don't need no stinkin' explanations!" And spend the rest of the story describing how he slowly spit roasts the bitch, impoverishes and castrates her asshole lover, and at the same time meets the most beautiful pristine yet wild monkey-fucking woman God ever created.

I can hardly wait for you to demonstrate what a clueless asshole I am. At least then I might get to read a decent adultery story, and appreciate some truly creative writing. But I'm not betting on it.

I'll wait to rate the finished product. Thanks in advance for the effort.

on publishing your first story. I enjoyed it and thought that it should have scored higher.

I look forward to the second chapter.

I'm assuming there will be more. I like the quick action, not dragging it out for weeks. He gave her too much in the divorce settlement. Glad you got the old "it's not what you think" in. As my friend sbrooks103x would say, " It is what it is! " "why the hell would I think it was anything else!" Also the oft used "honey, can't we work through this?" "Why didn't you want to work through it before you got caught cheating ?" What will they tell the kids about an apparently happy marriage that ends overnight? Hope there is much more misery, besides losing.his job and.marriage, coming for old Sam . Good opening chapter.

Well, that was a heck of a start for a first posting. Good story keep it going.

Will there be a plot?

A sequence of events is not necessarily a plot.

As almost all comments said, this is a good start...The aftermath will define if this start will lead to a good story...3* for now

I like the quick pace and I like he did not drag on for six months gathering evidence.

I did laugh when she stated " While this may be amazing, I'm not willing to ruin my marriage for a little sex no matter how good it is." Then don't cheat.

I couldn't believe the date this story was lodged, I'm sure I've read it before. If it's not identical to another story I've read on literotica it's so close it's laughable.

Great beginning to a story that you can build on. Will be looking forward to seeing your character development.

But, as an opening chapter we can expect some twists and high drama.

Good start.

This is mostly error free and well written.

I see nothing new or different to distinguish it from the thousands of other similar stories.

One plot hole was introducing the relationship to the VP after the fact. It comes acrossed as too conveniently shoe-horned into the story.

I liked it, even though I feel you needed something to make it unique.

KB

"I think 25 years is worth saving."

Yeah, but the wife didn't or she wouldn't have had the affair in the first place. She said this about fucking her lover: "I don't think I've ever cum so hard in my whole life!"

And the husband heard that...

They'd been together for 27 years and the wife just told some asshole that a random fuck session was better than nearly three decades of loving from her husband. That would have been a crushing blow to Jason... I don't think any guy could forget or forgive being so disrespected and dismissed. This also wasn't just a one time mistake, she'd been fucking Sam for weeks!

I see this ending in divorce... and justifiably so.

It sounds like Jason and Annie are both 45-50... that's a great age for a professional man to pick up a broody mid-30's second wife, but a middle-aged woman nearing the big 50 is screwed! At her age, she's decades past her prime. She might get younger guys looking to fuck a cougar, or some 60+ widower looking for someone to retire with, but any decent-looking guys her age will be looking for a younger woman.

Annie deserves to see her husband divorce her and move on. That's the ultimate punishment for a cheating wife, replacing her and living happily ever after with a younger, prettier woman.

Congratulations on a great first chapter Carolina_gentleman!

I’m in agreement with Sbrooks in that “ It’s not what you think” statement is but trite filler used by LW writers.

I believe some back story could have been used to add substance to the story. In the “Ready, Aim, Fire” sequence, you nailed Fire.

Good start for a first.

Keep going.

In his case no chance of writing working this out. He is not rational in his haste to discard her. She has destroyed a marriage. So what happens next as there relationship turns toxic.

Your are on a path. However it would have been better if you would have given us another page or two. Will hold off on rating until I see more.

FYI. The biggest peeve I have with this site is the unwillingness or inability for authors to finish a story. Please finish. And for all you other authors. Write you story, edit it, finish it, then post it

Thanks to all who have replied. Both the compliments and the constructive criticism are appreciated.

I normally just write for my own enjoyment and as a stress relief tool. But a friend finally convinced me to post.

Just as an FYI, this first post is just to set the scene. I have several paths outlined for future posts. I’m trying to decide which direction to go at the moment. I have part 2 written and at the moment I’m trying to make sure that it doesn’t box me into a corner.

This tale, so far, is an LW cliché. But it seems there are at least two options (given that Hubby hated what her saw Sweetie doing!). He DID like the looks of The Bull’s Sweetie. Instead of sending her the file, meet with her in some neutral but nice place and play it for her. Afterwards, have a copy ready for her. No instant revenge. Give her (and yourself) a week or so to stew over all the options, and suggest she do the same thing before either of you lower the boom. That week in hiatus would also answer the question of whether Sweetie or Bull meet again or p, as claimed, have concerns about staying married.*.

By NO means try to get anyone fired. Both Sweetie and Bull are twice stupid. The second stupid is ignoring the ‘no honey where you get your money’ dictum. However, when it comes to divorce, judges do not have to concur with coerced contracts. It reads like there is a noticeable income discrepancy. If Sweetie is unemployed during the divorce process, the 12-month alimony issue is very likely to be altered. Besides, Hubby’s three semi-adult kids will treat him like shit for treating Mom like shit (for a lot more than a week or so!)

Rating in limbo. This could be great, or SOS - PHD. I don’t usually like for an LW story to start out with detailed hanky-panky. This tale is no exception.

* Yeah, Sweetie DID enthusiastically praise The Bull’s sexual prowess (despite Hubby’s note that Bull was pencil-endowed.) Never believe pillow-talk (or ‘words in anger’) to be anything but provocative.

P.S. When, in this chapter, is Sweetie depicted as ‘insecure?’ A ‘folliwer’ - yes!

This was one of the worst pieces of writing I have ever read.

There was no characterization, no suspense, nothing of lterary value whatsoever.

Nearly every part used cliches and stereotyping instead of anything interesting.

If you can't tell a story any better than that, just quit writing.

Please don't wimp.him.down, and don't drag it out. FTDS. Thanks

He missed most caught them get emotional state under control

Found out. Plan Cathy together options during lunchtime? Long lunch

Sue bank employees cheating on company time

Show the damn video adultery and take delight in nailing the cheating bastard and bitch

You always have to see and hear evidence imagination normally lot worse than actual

Then burn to crisp

why blame the husband? if the 25 years of marriage is so precious, why commit infidelity? she cheated and husbands decides to divorce and somehow it’s the man’s fault? the wife dealt the mortal blow to the marriage, the husband simply did the decent thing and buried it. or are you suggesting that the husband swallows his pride and self respect to forgive his cheating wife?

Rule #1, A new paragraph is formed every time a new person talks! Learn to fucking write!

You need to expand on the ending, you ended the story too fast, a possible part 2 would be good for this story.

Well, the scene was set two days ago. Where's "the rest of the story?"

I am constantly surprised by the number of commenters who believe a man divorcing his wife for adultry is a demonstration of weakness, lack of commitment, or selfishness. The longer a marriage lasts, the more important the trust in each other becomes. Remove trust and the marriage that is left becomes toxic quickly. Perhaps a reconciliation can be achieved, but not without a lot of work. A good marriage comes from active commitment from both parties. Either party taking that for granted weakens the marriage. No one is “entitled” to a good marriage, it must be earned. And no one should be shamed into staying in a bad one.

..things wrong with this to pay it much heed. The most annoying feature is the front-loading of detail and then the story suddenly...ends. my one star was a pity-grade

One, if you are going to describe a persons looks don't change it in the next paragraph. I walked into the lobby and saw a pretty brunette sitting on the sofa. Cathy Mason had shoulder length black hair and while some would say she was ten to fifteen pounds overweight, to me it looked like she had curves in all the right places. Was it black or Brown?

Two, Jason went from '0' to the speed of light in less than 60 seconds. He not only came up with an instant plan to a situation he knew nothing about but had it implemented before his meeting with Cathy was over.

Three, Annie claimed, "I know, but Jason is acting funny and I think he may be getting suspicious" yet he was caught off guard by Cathy.

The story was well written, but in your comment in the comments section you sound like you plan on more than one follow up chapter. To keep us stringing along is the wrong thing to do, you should have had everything ready to go from the onset.

It was close to a five and better than a four but there isn't anything in between so like my checkbook I will error on the high side.

I seldom see a "perfect" story in LW. This one was well written, on the whole, and fast paced. It's far better than the dreck that usually infests LW. Not significantly original, but very few stories are.

Husband is too much an iron man. Too In charge of everything. Be more human, more alone, struggle to get things done, real people don’t have super servalance people around

Keep writing

Chilleywilley

Lots of directions you could take this sad tale. I'll wait to vote until you finish.

It turns out that most men whose wives cheat don't have security consultants and friends who run the bank. The only part of this story that seems authentic is the fact that the main character is a rage-filled asshole. Write what you know.

Annie's comment about Jason getting suspicious was made during the session that was being recorded. Obviously, Jason was suspicious before that time. So, her comment is not anachronistic.

The story as written is not in chronological order. The first scene happens after Cathy comes to Jason's office. The lovers agreed to cool it for a while. If that had happened before Cathy came to the office, there would have been no meeting on the following Thursday and the cameras would have picked up nothing.

I think several people missed the line, "THREE DAYS EARLIER". Check page 1, right after they finish having sex.

When the story opens with Annie and Sam, they're already being recorded, because 3 days earlier, Sam's wife went to Jason with her suspicions. Jason had the cameras installed then waited for Thursday. So Annie meant he'd been acting suspicious for the last couple of days.

Good story, it moves quickly. Well done.

Straight to the point.

No crying or throwing up.

Only reason to throw up here

is when asshole ate his cum out of the slut's pussy.

Looking forward to reading the rest of this story,

but the start gets top ratings from me.

everything was good but the alimony....fuck her, wait to see what the court offers.

No fucking way would I pay the slut alimony!!! Lets hope this man doesn't turn into a CUCK!!!

Great start.

5* Great start but paying the slut alimony in an adultery case is nuts. She has a bank job. So NO alimony. Same thing for retirement accounts. She has her own retirement accounts, so why split all?

I'm an attorney. He does not have the right to decide there will be no alimony or that retirement will not be split. Only a court can decide those. Also, every State has adopted no-fault divorce, which means that courts are prohibited from considering adultery or any other bad of a spouse, and the parties, their attorneys, and anyone else are all prohibited from revealing it to the court. (The only exception is in custody battles, where it can be used to claim that a spouse is unfit to have custody, and the bar is very high.)

The retirement would be split 50-50, just like all other assets.

Couples are completely free to negotiate their own settlement instead of going to court and having the court do it. In that case the only thing they need to go to court for is the legal dissolution of the marriage. That's a streamlined procedure that generally requires filling out a few simple forms (which can be done without a lawyer) and paying a relatively small amount of money. In many places no court appearances are required.

Two of the main reasons spouses settle instead of going to court are and that apply here are:

1) A contested divorce that's not complicated and where the spouses are not fighting too much can easily cost each spouse $15-$20,000, so total of $30-$40,000, which will have to be paid by one spouse if she/he has a lot more money. But every $1 paid to an attorney is $1 taken out of the pot of money the spouses will spit. Cases that are not simple can reach the mid to high 5 figures and into 6 figures. You get the picture.

2) The spouses control the decisions. They also avoid the risk that they'll end up worse off, possibly much worse off, if the judge decides the case, especially with all the attorneys' fees added in. In addition, experienced divorce attorneys will have a pretty good idea of what range the dollars will be in if the case goes to court, so it's not like spouses will be picking numbers out of the air. Those are educated estimates, and the spouses' mileage may vary, but it gives them a pretty good basis to judge the value of the particular settlement being considered compared to what they might get after a trial.

For the BTB crowd: In my opinion, you have to assume that the husband had pretty good intel and advice about his offer and he considered it to be better than what the court would decide. Don't forget that $5k/mo. for 1 yr. is $60,000. Considering the cost of a full divorce, he might very well be doing nothing more than taking the money he would have paid to the attorneys and giving it to her, without having to reach into his pocket. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Great start to a vicious burn. Destroy them both without.mercy.

3 stars - this author wrote an 'average' BTB story.

However, where is the new and unique material that could have made this different from the thousands of other 'average' LW stories?

A bunch of cliches with no proper ending. This is pretty much a do-it-yourself story where you fill in the blanks.

The problem with this scenario is that if he gets the wife fired he has to pay a lot in alimony. Lots of authors make the same mistake. I know a guy gets mad and loses self-control, but you'd think someone would help him out.

Good to see for once the husband having a back bone⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

$5,000 per month??!! Hell no!!! Where's the BTB???

So far, 5-stars, but this only from chapter one!

Time will tell!

Great first chapter! I'm about to continue on...let's see how this unfolds

Excellent start.

Great start rescored this to 5/5 from 3/5.

I like it more second time around