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English
Such longing
described well.
it's so very hard...
...to hold our intensity in check, to not pursue in the way our instincts drive us to. The movie in our mind is vivid it is so very difficult to not direct. Well captured Logo-love...
So many struggles
to keep your feelings in check so as not to alarm their sensitivities and awaken their fears! And of course you could never share such direct thoughts and feelings - too much for them to handle. Excellent, Logo. Thanks, LJ.
rather interesting....
reads like a poem-story. Can't figure out if you are still ambiguous at the end. Very intriguing, got me thinking!!
~
This does read like a story! I considered giving you the suggestion of turning it into a short short story, flash fiction etc... maybe a prose poem.
I liked the flow of the story, the scenes of the danging, singing...
"Bask in the glow" and dang, I cannot remember, another cliche at the end that does not do this piece justice. It is apparent that you are creative and original and can come up with something new :)
annaswirls
nice...
What a perfect description of the joy of falling in love. I'm humbled by your powers of observation and illustration. Please do more of these...
`
I don't know what to say...uh..mm...oh I know, DAMN YOU'RE GOOD.
well written
poem that captures the fear of falling and the thrills of doing so. We all know that song that you refered to in your poem... nice song... excellent poem! Jase.
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