All Comments on 'Midnight Dancers Ch. 01'

I think you should just let it go on without the five comments you want from people. you may want to have someone else read it before you submit it, since it always sounds different in your head then on paper. it does take a few minutes to follow what they are saying or doing. you are doing a good job otherwise, just need a little more info or activity to make it a really reader catching story. Keep going with your writing though. you are already getting better with just a few stories under your belt.

You are a tease! I want more! Seriously, though, the whole scenario is a hot one especially the relationship between "John" and the main character. I love the banter. I do think, however, that it would be cliched if you have each girl end up with a band member (and especially if they end up with the band member they crush on). Also, how do the girls get the guys to go into the record store? The guys would have to go into a light to do that.