by jdodg
you did good building it up... tell the story now! cant sum it all up in a few parags
This was a hot, sexy and fun story. Well written. A little more detail and perhaps more in-depth descriptions of the action at the end would have helped but, hey, it was your story and you can tell it any way you like. I will have to read more of your work now.
Nice story, but, Try to add more descriptions of the acts. More than just entry and cumming, licking and cumming... tanya