by BrettJ
Definately a stroker story of the first magnitude. Thank You. Ronnie W.
The story's premise and conclusion are fine, but I find her "birthday present" and his acceptance of her submission so quickly a bit off-putting. More development of their relationship would help.
My kind of BDSM story! Hope you keep this story going as I will look forward to future chapters.
it reminds me of finding my slave. not only did i enjoy the story but it brought back memories of the first night i took her and how willing she was to please me no matter what i demanded of her. it also made me think of the day i took her to the store and bought her the first collar she ever wore and how proud she was of it.
This in a fun story, somewhat believeable in it's execution, and it's nice to have the guy accept this wild woman's presense in his shattered life so readily.
Who wouldn't? What a character he's created.
You can visualize the sexy little woman in her provocative outfit very well; always good to read someone who knows how to paint a scene. The writer does a good job of detailing her need, though I would have liked to have more detail here.
Fun read!
AL
The overall writing was well done. The dialog flowed well as did the story. I was disappointed only by the speed of everything. He seemed to only question this stranger on his doorstep once?(granted she wasn't a complete stranger... but a stranger just the same)
I read the other BDSM story first and perhaps that is my pitfall. That and I see the other comments are from men, so perhaps as a woman I am seeing this in my eyes, and not in the eyes you meant it to be seen.
The other BDSM... A Submissive Journey was WOW, and as a woman, I felt the pull of the characters. This one left me disliking them both.
As far as writing style and description and bringing the reader into the story, that I see and felt, and that is what makes a story in the end.
Red