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English
ITs good
Good start but it could have been longer, keep it up.
be gentle?
gentle nothing. this story was hot! you've got a flair for this--keep it up, although i agree with the other comment, it could be longer, but the foreplay/sex was really, really good. hope i see one of your stories again. SOON. >:)
Well done
For starter you definatly have a flare for telling a tale. Keep it up.
Damn great for a first!
That story was far better than many stories from more "experienced" writers. Continue to write, it's worth it! That was hot!
Her Hero
Very very good! More please!
booklover
Very good and hot
Thank you for your story! I am so looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
You handled the area of describing the sex very well. I know that is where I have had the problem the few times I did stories here.
Well done!!
It was really cool.
I enjoyed it from start to end. Well done and nice style.
x
Congrats...
On not only a great story but the BACK story that went with it.
Can't wait till your next one!
Pretty Good!
For a first story, this was really good. I hope you write more and I will surely read them!
~Honey
great
wonderful wonderful first story... nice flow, could have been a bit longer... but what an encounter!!! am looking forward to more
It was good
I thought it was very good. Cant wait to read more
I liked this one
This was great. First time my foot. You were wonderful to be so chivalrous. I might have given you sex as Holy had if in the same position.
Really Good
A real good story the action was well described and the i think you should try to write more chapters.
More
What I read I liked. As it stands, it should probably be in erotic couplings. For romance, I think you need to expand it. Why did she accept Tim when she just turned down her "boyfriend"? Why was she essentially shy one minute and wanton the next?
Why couldn't Tim sleep in the first place? How did he come to move "here".
With "romance" the emphasis isn't as much about the sex act as it is about the context of caring or not in which the act occurs or doesn't occur in each phase or the story.
I know this is just one anonymous opinion but I hope it helps.
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