The hypnosis idea from the female instead of a horny male
Oh ! My ! Jemma.....
A bit shy of hotness, in my professional opinion. The premise certainly appeals to me, and you do have some talent, however the story is in need of revision. The supposed aversion that the victim supposedly had for the hypnotist was never apparent in his thoughts and actions. One is left with the impression that the hypnosis, such as it was, was unnecessary. He apparently could have been claimed with just an attractive outfit, nice perfume, and a cup of coffee. Try to keep in mind, when you are writing a story with an unwilling subject, that subject should be resisting!
I liked it, regardless of any criticisms.
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