I'm sorry of what happened to you. And I'm gladed you got over it ok! :D Thank you for sharing your story and, thanks for sharing your privaate feelings. ~sf
Thanks so much for sharing so eloquently. I experienced something similar from another male and while I am straight, the body works in strange ways, as reluctant as the mind may be
I know exactly what its like to be in that situation,sadly mine left me badly injured and scarred.It feels like your own body has betrayed you.I really hope you have recovered from it as well as I feel I have.
. . . and very insightful. Thank you for sharing such a personal story and being honest about it's many facets. Congratulations on being able to come to terms with what happened.
While doing research for a novel, I came across a study that said around 20% of women experience physical arousal during rape. It is purely physiological. It is entirely possible that cognitive dissonance, believing one thing and acting differently, may cause the event to be viewed differently than it actually happened. The subconscious could make her believe she enjoyed submission or lack of control and that was what caused her arousal.
It's also possible for someone to act in a way that carries out a subconscious belief. Many people subconsciously sabotage their success because they believe subconsciously they are not worthy of succeeding.
You are not responsible when someone removes your ability to resist.
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