Author, I like the way you gave your story from both points of view. I can understand where he's coming from being married for so long with the same women. But I still think he shoud dump her. Good read, keep them coming.
Congratulations for taking the initiative and writing your story. From what I have been able to observe in other writers, the more you write, the better you will get. Thanks for taking the time to write this.
Isn't it funny that when the husband catches the wife cheating, she always says that this was the last time. That they were going to stop right after this last time.
Your writing skills are improving and the use of an editor is a great idea for any author.
by
Anonymous09/11/05
who do you think you are
who do you think you are writing with common sense and been real.why are you not writing in fanasy world and acting like you from mars.you think you are crazy or something writing so people can understand your hurt and feeling in your writings.thank you for writing for us who cannot write ,but feel as you do.wish there were more writers like you with gusts.
a writer, you're sure doing a fantastic job. pulled me in, got me hooked, can't wait for the next chapter, what more could a writer ask for. keep up the good work, a fan always.
by
Anonymous09/11/05
KUDO's Author
First off - you are appreciated for your lifelike reality and your clear style of telling us your viewpoint.
Secondly, no author can adequetely sit in judgement of his or her own abilities! The sellers product perceived value is only tentative - it is truly estabolished by the buyers interest in the purchase. So, don't say you aren't a professional writer - others like us are the real judge of that and as you can see from the scores and majority of comments - you have something special going on in a theme which is intriguing, emotional, varied and difficult in many ways yet accomodates many styles, viewpoints and conclusions.
The key is to grow but not lose your style and personal touch which makes it yours. Use the possible tools (spelling and editor) but keep the standards, diligence and control that you are comfortable and successful with.
Good show Author - Thanks - with High Regard
by
Anonymous09/11/05
I see it coming
And they kissed and made up and lived happily ever after, especially Marsha who not only learned how to keep it absolutely secret, but that he would forgive her no matter what she did.
This is a great story. You give your charcters depth, and the story has a good plot. Thank you for not using a wimpy husband or someone that wants his wife to sleep with other men. I personnally think he should divorce Marsha. A single time may be forgiven, but she had sex multiple times with multiple partners. She completely ignored her marriage vows. She deserves to be single, with no job, no alimony, and her kids should despise her for wrecking the family. As for Nancy, she should divorce bob after he is charged with domestic violence. She should also not be charged with anything as it was self defense. Bob of course should be put in prision for a few years, and become someone's girlfriend. Maybe Roger and Nancy will get together, maybe they won't, but they both deserve better partners.
Keep going DG.
You've done a great job with your story. Note I said your story and that's exactly what it should be - YOURS. I've never understood why people try to get you authors to write stories the way they want them to be written. I do comment occasionally on what I'd like to see but I firmly believe each author need to write their stories to suit themselves. So keep up the excellent writing and do it your way!!!
by
Anonymous09/11/05
Good Job
Keep up the good work. Write the story like you want to. You can use constructive criticism to improve your writing for future stories.
Boyd
by
Anonymous09/11/05
Let'em Just Kiss, Make Up, and Forgive!
Marsha right, for crying outloud! She's in complete charge of all these fucking men she's fucking with; some even cry big tears to her, being so under her spell.
But most important of all, as she says, she's about to confess to the nice, slow but nice, hubby, putting all those activities behind her, NOW that she's found her youth again!
Please, don't punish such a nice, loving, and truthful character! You have broken the slow hubby (who enjoys these erotica more than her)'s heart; don't break Marsha's and ours, too! She and all of us need to have some happiness.
Have her dress in killer dresses, short shorts, and no bras and lick the good hubby all over and he will stop writing these erotica and take her back to those long-gone days they had so much fun having the sex she's been lately getting from the crew at the office!
Just discovered these two stories and enjoyed them. Well written with complex characters. Thanks for a good read.
Will be looking forward to additional chapters.
by
Anonymous09/11/05
HAVE TO AGREE WITH SHERLOCK40
Why is it that everytime the wife gets caught they always say the same bullshit...I love you, It didn't mean anything, It was an accident, It was the first time, It not what you think. It was the last time i was going to end it. It so fucking funny the shit women say when they get caught. First of i have never raised my hand to a woman, but i assure you that IF my wife ever cheats on me and says the bullshit i listed above i will slap the bitch than i will throw the whore out and divorce her. Secondly i think the person that wrote the last comment must be a woman wanting them to make up, because no self respecting man would forgive a whore that not only cheated but lied repeatdly to his face. She isn't sorry for what she did, the whore is sorry she got caught plain and simple. If its a one night thing it MIGHT and i repeat MIGHT be forgivable, but she did it for months. You know how they say learn from your mistakes, well cheaters learn from them to and a man that would stay married to a whore like this is one of the dumbest bastards to walk this earth. Next time she will just be that much more careful and next time he might not catch her.
by
Anonymous09/11/05
Great Story!
Great story, seems more like real life, I could feel the caracters, even Marsha. What would a guy do from this point in the real world? Get even always sounds good, but after 20 years of marriage, you take the mother of your two kids and kick her out? Hope I never have to make a decision like that. Waiting for the next chapter. No matter how it turns out it was a great read.
Good job DG
I don’t know where you are taking us next but I am sure enjoying the ride. You may not be a professional writer but you still tell a damn good story. I was very skeptical when you switched speakers at the beginning of Chapter 2 but you managed the transition superbly.
The voices of Marsha and Roger came across as distinct from one another, but enough alike to know that they are married. Long time married couples do play off one another and that’s something that many writers miss ...you didn’t.
I am looking forward the next installment. There is no rush though. I would love to read it when you think it is ready. Thanks again for a good read.
He is already taking her places with him and nobody is giving her a rough time. Its like he already forgave her so why is the story still going on?
Guy catchs wife acting the whore (not even just cheating but really acting like a balls to the wall whore), tells her hes going to write a story about it and then they pretend like nothing happened. Doesnt make sense.
The wife's attitude doesnt make sense either. She basically admits she doesnt feel the least bit guilty but then acts sad when he doesnt cuddle and tell her its all ok. She also said that she thought her husband got a kick out of it but went to incredible lengths to keep it from him. Even if he had cuck fantasies, how is he supposed to get off on her behaviour if he doesnt know about it?
Even though Im not sure where this is going, thanks for writing.
by
Anonymous09/12/05
Getting Worried
Great JOB!
I am worried about several items. Why did he allow Marsha in his car? Why is Marsha still under his roof? Why hasn't he contacted the other wives yet? Why isn't he planning his retribution on ALL the perpetrators? Why is he allowing Marsha even near Nancy's kids?
In the story we heard he's not a wimp, but I hope that doesn't change (see above). She cheated on him, therefore she does NOT love him.
I think, like said in the story, after getting the call from Nancy things just happen so fast one after another. The husband hasn't had any real time to sort things out. It seems he basicly put his own problems to the side with Nancy being beaten and in the hospital. Instead of her kids going to someone else, being her friend he took them in.
As for why Marsha is still there and around Nancy's kids. Well it was never said she was a bad mother. Horrible and unfaithful wife yes but it seemed like she was presented like a good mother before the cheating started and being needed is something she wanted to be again. Though it's not like the situation was forgotten. I doubt he could handle 4 kids by himself or was in real position to. Once Nancy is back home with her kids I'm sure, well hoping the situation with the wife will finally be settled.
Why is she stillin the house unless its to watch over the childern. And why did Nancy let her babies go with them. Gee this wife mesed up bad and I don't see a way out for them as a couple.... great story though
by
Anonymous09/12/05
Story Continuing Well
The story is going well, though not the equal of the first chapter but that is,in my opinion, almost a herculean task because that 1st Chapter was so good. Still Marsha's story & Chapter 3 are interesting. The writing is lean. Just about everything furthers the action.
I have noticed one particular typo in a lot of authors---using "women" for "woman". What causes that? The "a" and the "e" are pretty close on the keyboard but not adjacent.
I'm curious to see how the story ends. I hope you maintain the quality of the story. You set the bar high for yourself.
i can see where he would put off the adultery issue for a moment until he gathers his thoughts .... after all, a murder attempt would be a shocking experience. please continue on
DON'T BE TOO LENIENT
25MM IS ONE INCH, AND WOULD MAKE ONE HELL OF A HOLE
by
Anonymous12/06/05
For future reference
Just so people don't nitpick you - 25mm is roughly an inch. Anybody hit by a bullet that big will be splattered all over New Jersey.
Other problem is that nobody makes a handgun in that calibre. Heck, nobody makes rifles in that calibre, I think you'd have to get a 4-gauge shotgun to get even close.
I think what you mean is .22 calibre (that is, .22 of an inch - or 5.58mm. Depending on which type, it is not unreasonable to have someone survive a hit from these in a story.
I've only raised this because you've made reference to "25mm handguns" in several stories. Its a glaringly obvious error to anybody who has even a passing knowledge of firearms.
wow...what a bad sequel... too short and silly. The rationalizatiosn of the wife do not work b/c in chapter 1 The Hubby said so much more...
In chapter 1 Hubby says what is wrong with these people... how can they do THAT!? How can they make those moral choices?
This is very much along the lines of WHY I read the LOVING WIFES genre whicu is why I loved capter 1 so much
but her the wifes' claim of LOVE of hubby.... 7 guys in 4 months .... is about as silly as what we saw in House of Cards or HILDY
so Let see if I have this bit of "realism" right... Marsha takes Nancy's Kids .... after Nancy shots BOB in an act of self defense b/c BOB is enraged that he can no longer fuck Marhsa?
ROTFLOL!!!!
Third... the story is not advanced. I like reading the different views.... but the story is not rally advanced nor has the hubby said one angry word yet to the whore wife...
DG I loved this story so far. I hope some of the 'experts' in bullet sizes read this comment. It is 2.5 centimenters that equal and inch. 25mm is small. Did you ever fire a 22 at the fair ground? That is 22mm.
by
05/12/06
Sorry ddpman! And just to make it clear!
American ammunition is based on inch measurement.
.22 is just less that 1/4 inch in diameter.
.45 is just less than 1/2 in in diameter.
Something new I hadn't seen until a couple of days ago:
In 2002, Hornady introduced the 17 Hornady Magnum Rimfire. It's a 22 Magnum case necked down to hold a 0.172” bullet.
Most foreign is based on millimeters. The primary NATO round is 7.62 mm, which comes out to .3 inches, about halfway between a .22 and a 38 caliber (.38). NATO paramilitary ammo is 5.56 mm or .223 inches, very close to the common American .222 ammo.
I've never heard of any ammo that is .22mm 2.2 mm or 22 mm. The inch size for those would be .0087 inches, .087 inches (40% of a 22 caliber, really small!) or something that would even send Dirty harry packing: 22mm = .87 inches! (double a 45 caliber, huge!)
I do not always agree with your ending - but I enjoy reading them - thank you -
Don't get too upset about those fine details they only irritate old farts lie me that know about weapons or electronics - relax.they do not make or break the story.
I think you confused 25 mm with 25 calibre (cal). 25 mm = 1 inch. I don't think there is a revolver that is 25mm. Other than that small detail, I really liked this story. Ive read most of your stuff and you are pretty good. Keep it up.
even if he DID get off on it, he would have to KNOW about it first! It was never about him. It was all about her being a slut.
And please stop writing that 'She was racing home to spill her guts when he caught her'. Or lines like; 'I was going to end it with him the next time'. Or when she says generic lines like 'I love only you'. They are over-used, tired cliches and lazy writing, that make no sense. Why would someone need to fuck their lover in order to end it? Ever hear of a phone?
English
Different!
Author, I like the way you gave your story from both points of view. I can understand where he's coming from being married for so long with the same women. But I still think he shoud dump her. Good read, keep them coming.
Thanks for a good read.
Enjoying your story. Keep it up. Thanks again.
Kudos for originality
Congratulations for taking the initiative and writing your story. From what I have been able to observe in other writers, the more you write, the better you will get. Thanks for taking the time to write this.
Great story so far.
Isn't it funny that when the husband catches the wife cheating, she always says that this was the last time. That they were going to stop right after this last time.
Your writing skills are improving and the use of an editor is a great idea for any author.
who do you think you are
who do you think you are writing with common sense and been real.why are you not writing in fanasy world and acting like you from mars.you think you are crazy or something writing so people can understand your hurt and feeling in your writings.thank you for writing for us who cannot write ,but feel as you do.wish there were more writers like you with gusts.
Very good
Looking forward to the ending. Keep up the great work.
for not being
a writer, you're sure doing a fantastic job. pulled me in, got me hooked, can't wait for the next chapter, what more could a writer ask for. keep up the good work, a fan always.
KUDO's Author
First off - you are appreciated for your lifelike reality and your clear style of telling us your viewpoint.
Secondly, no author can adequetely sit in judgement of his or her own abilities! The sellers product perceived value is only tentative - it is truly estabolished by the buyers interest in the purchase. So, don't say you aren't a professional writer - others like us are the real judge of that and as you can see from the scores and majority of comments - you have something special going on in a theme which is intriguing, emotional, varied and difficult in many ways yet accomodates many styles, viewpoints and conclusions.
The key is to grow but not lose your style and personal touch which makes it yours. Use the possible tools (spelling and editor) but keep the standards, diligence and control that you are comfortable and successful with.
Good show Author - Thanks - with High Regard
I see it coming
And they kissed and made up and lived happily ever after, especially Marsha who not only learned how to keep it absolutely secret, but that he would forgive her no matter what she did.
Great
DG,
This is a great story. You give your charcters depth, and the story has a good plot. Thank you for not using a wimpy husband or someone that wants his wife to sleep with other men. I personnally think he should divorce Marsha. A single time may be forgiven, but she had sex multiple times with multiple partners. She completely ignored her marriage vows. She deserves to be single, with no job, no alimony, and her kids should despise her for wrecking the family. As for Nancy, she should divorce bob after he is charged with domestic violence. She should also not be charged with anything as it was self defense. Bob of course should be put in prision for a few years, and become someone's girlfriend. Maybe Roger and Nancy will get together, maybe they won't, but they both deserve better partners.
Keep going DG.
Excellent Writing
You've done a great job with your story. Note I said your story and that's exactly what it should be - YOURS. I've never understood why people try to get you authors to write stories the way they want them to be written. I do comment occasionally on what I'd like to see but I firmly believe each author need to write their stories to suit themselves. So keep up the excellent writing and do it your way!!!
Good Job
Keep up the good work. Write the story like you want to. You can use constructive criticism to improve your writing for future stories.
Boyd
Let'em Just Kiss, Make Up, and Forgive!
Marsha right, for crying outloud! She's in complete charge of all these fucking men she's fucking with; some even cry big tears to her, being so under her spell.
But most important of all, as she says, she's about to confess to the nice, slow but nice, hubby, putting all those activities behind her, NOW that she's found her youth again!
Please, don't punish such a nice, loving, and truthful character! You have broken the slow hubby (who enjoys these erotica more than her)'s heart; don't break Marsha's and ours, too! She and all of us need to have some happiness.
Have her dress in killer dresses, short shorts, and no bras and lick the good hubby all over and he will stop writing these erotica and take her back to those long-gone days they had so much fun having the sex she's been lately getting from the crew at the office!
Well done
Just discovered these two stories and enjoyed them. Well written with complex characters. Thanks for a good read.
Will be looking forward to additional chapters.
HAVE TO AGREE WITH SHERLOCK40
Why is it that everytime the wife gets caught they always say the same bullshit...I love you, It didn't mean anything, It was an accident, It was the first time, It not what you think. It was the last time i was going to end it. It so fucking funny the shit women say when they get caught. First of i have never raised my hand to a woman, but i assure you that IF my wife ever cheats on me and says the bullshit i listed above i will slap the bitch than i will throw the whore out and divorce her. Secondly i think the person that wrote the last comment must be a woman wanting them to make up, because no self respecting man would forgive a whore that not only cheated but lied repeatdly to his face. She isn't sorry for what she did, the whore is sorry she got caught plain and simple. If its a one night thing it MIGHT and i repeat MIGHT be forgivable, but she did it for months. You know how they say learn from your mistakes, well cheaters learn from them to and a man that would stay married to a whore like this is one of the dumbest bastards to walk this earth. Next time she will just be that much more careful and next time he might not catch her.
Great Story!
Great story, seems more like real life, I could feel the caracters, even Marsha. What would a guy do from this point in the real world? Get even always sounds good, but after 20 years of marriage, you take the mother of your two kids and kick her out? Hope I never have to make a decision like that. Waiting for the next chapter. No matter how it turns out it was a great read.
Good job DG
It keeps getting better.
I don’t know where you are taking us next but I am sure enjoying the ride. You may not be a professional writer but you still tell a damn good story. I was very skeptical when you switched speakers at the beginning of Chapter 2 but you managed the transition superbly.
The voices of Marsha and Roger came across as distinct from one another, but enough alike to know that they are married. Long time married couples do play off one another and that’s something that many writers miss ...you didn’t.
I am looking forward the next installment. There is no rush though. I would love to read it when you think it is ready. Thanks again for a good read.
No suspense
He is already taking her places with him and nobody is giving her a rough time. Its like he already forgave her so why is the story still going on?
Guy catchs wife acting the whore (not even just cheating but really acting like a balls to the wall whore), tells her hes going to write a story about it and then they pretend like nothing happened. Doesnt make sense.
The wife's attitude doesnt make sense either. She basically admits she doesnt feel the least bit guilty but then acts sad when he doesnt cuddle and tell her its all ok. She also said that she thought her husband got a kick out of it but went to incredible lengths to keep it from him. Even if he had cuck fantasies, how is he supposed to get off on her behaviour if he doesnt know about it?
Even though Im not sure where this is going, thanks for writing.
Getting Worried
Great JOB!
I am worried about several items. Why did he allow Marsha in his car? Why is Marsha still under his roof? Why hasn't he contacted the other wives yet? Why isn't he planning his retribution on ALL the perpetrators? Why is he allowing Marsha even near Nancy's kids?
In the story we heard he's not a wimp, but I hope that doesn't change (see above). She cheated on him, therefore she does NOT love him.
Why is she still there? I think
I think, like said in the story, after getting the call from Nancy things just happen so fast one after another. The husband hasn't had any real time to sort things out. It seems he basicly put his own problems to the side with Nancy being beaten and in the hospital. Instead of her kids going to someone else, being her friend he took them in.
As for why Marsha is still there and around Nancy's kids. Well it was never said she was a bad mother. Horrible and unfaithful wife yes but it seemed like she was presented like a good mother before the cheating started and being needed is something she wanted to be again. Though it's not like the situation was forgotten. I doubt he could handle 4 kids by himself or was in real position to. Once Nancy is back home with her kids I'm sure, well hoping the situation with the wife will finally be settled.
Why
Why is she stillin the house unless its to watch over the childern. And why did Nancy let her babies go with them. Gee this wife mesed up bad and I don't see a way out for them as a couple.... great story though
Story Continuing Well
The story is going well, though not the equal of the first chapter but that is,in my opinion, almost a herculean task because that 1st Chapter was so good. Still Marsha's story & Chapter 3 are interesting. The writing is lean. Just about everything furthers the action.
I have noticed one particular typo in a lot of authors---using "women" for "woman". What causes that? The "a" and the "e" are pretty close on the keyboard but not adjacent.
I'm curious to see how the story ends. I hope you maintain the quality of the story. You set the bar high for yourself.
playingcardcompany
great stuff
i can see where he would put off the adultery issue for a moment until he gathers his thoughts .... after all, a murder attempt would be a shocking experience. please continue on
GUN
DON'T BE TOO LENIENT
25MM IS ONE INCH, AND WOULD MAKE ONE HELL OF A HOLE
For future reference
Just so people don't nitpick you - 25mm is roughly an inch. Anybody hit by a bullet that big will be splattered all over New Jersey.
Other problem is that nobody makes a handgun in that calibre. Heck, nobody makes rifles in that calibre, I think you'd have to get a 4-gauge shotgun to get even close.
I think what you mean is .22 calibre (that is, .22 of an inch - or 5.58mm. Depending on which type, it is not unreasonable to have someone survive a hit from these in a story.
I've only raised this because you've made reference to "25mm handguns" in several stories. Its a glaringly obvious error to anybody who has even a passing knowledge of firearms.
what a HUGE Letdown
wow...what a bad sequel... too short and silly. The rationalizatiosn of the wife do not work b/c in chapter 1 The Hubby said so much more...
In chapter 1 Hubby says what is wrong with these people... how can they do THAT!? How can they make those moral choices?
This is very much along the lines of WHY I read the LOVING WIFES genre whicu is why I loved capter 1 so much
but her the wifes' claim of LOVE of hubby.... 7 guys in 4 months .... is about as silly as what we saw in House of Cards or HILDY
so Let see if I have this bit of "realism" right... Marsha takes Nancy's Kids .... after Nancy shots BOB in an act of self defense b/c BOB is enraged that he can no longer fuck Marhsa?
ROTFLOL!!!!
Third... the story is not advanced. I like reading the different views.... but the story is not rally advanced nor has the hubby said one angry word yet to the whore wife...
WOW
DG I loved this story so far. I hope some of the 'experts' in bullet sizes read this comment. It is 2.5 centimenters that equal and inch. 25mm is small. Did you ever fire a 22 at the fair ground? That is 22mm.
Sorry ddpman! And just to make it clear!
American ammunition is based on inch measurement.
.22 is just less that 1/4 inch in diameter.
.45 is just less than 1/2 in in diameter.
Something new I hadn't seen until a couple of days ago:
In 2002, Hornady introduced the 17 Hornady Magnum Rimfire. It's a 22 Magnum case necked down to hold a 0.172” bullet.
Most foreign is based on millimeters. The primary NATO round is 7.62 mm, which comes out to .3 inches, about halfway between a .22 and a 38 caliber (.38). NATO paramilitary ammo is 5.56 mm or .223 inches, very close to the common American .222 ammo.
I've never heard of any ammo that is .22mm 2.2 mm or 22 mm. The inch size for those would be .0087 inches, .087 inches (40% of a 22 caliber, really small!) or something that would even send Dirty harry packing: 22mm = .87 inches! (double a 45 caliber, huge!)
Great story DG!
Regards, DJ
Do your homework.
Dude. 25mm pistols do not come in revolver form. Do your homework a little better.
My opinion is I like how you work -
I do not always agree with your ending - but I enjoy reading them - thank you -
Don't get too upset about those fine details they only irritate old farts lie me that know about weapons or electronics - relax.they do not make or break the story.
Holy Moses
I think you confused 25 mm with 25 calibre (cal). 25 mm = 1 inch. I don't think there is a revolver that is 25mm. Other than that small detail, I really liked this story. Ive read most of your stuff and you are pretty good. Keep it up.
Excellent Again
Great sequel. All the cheaters should be kicked to the curb and beaten silly. Or even shot. Excellent
Huh?
"He would always say, "I love reading this stuff, but I would never do it.""
What part of that statement tells her that he would get off on it?
agree with KarenE
even if he DID get off on it, he would have to KNOW about it first! It was never about him. It was all about her being a slut.
And please stop writing that 'She was racing home to spill her guts when he caught her'. Or lines like; 'I was going to end it with him the next time'. Or when she says generic lines like 'I love only you'. They are over-used, tired cliches and lazy writing, that make no sense. Why would someone need to fuck their lover in order to end it? Ever hear of a phone?
???
So far, so good. Right now I like it.
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