But it could have been a lot better. I think you rushed it. Even muscular women like to take their time before grabbing onto their prey. It would have worked better to have him going a couple of times to the gym and getting more intidated as time went on. Then have her come over to help and get aquainted. Just a thought. Don't rush your stories so much--take time to build the tension and characters.
JimDinMN
English
Are you for real?
Pathetic. Give it up.
Not as bad as that. . .
But it could have been a lot better. I think you rushed it. Even muscular women like to take their time before grabbing onto their prey. It would have worked better to have him going a couple of times to the gym and getting more intidated as time went on. Then have her come over to help and get aquainted. Just a thought. Don't rush your stories so much--take time to build the tension and characters.
JimDinMN
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