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Beautifully Written...
Your use of descriptive words and dialogue were absolutely brilliant, helping to create a vivid and sexually realistic story. For one of your first ever submissions, this is amazing! I can't wait to read more of your writing.
very good effort...
it's hard to write a relatively short story like this, where every word counts. You do this extremely well. Bravo!!
Great Job!
Short and Sweet. Wonderfully written. Great work!
Appetizer
I was first attracted by your poetry. Now I'm finding your stories equally addictive. I urge you to continue writing.
Good Story Wrong Catagory
This is a well written story. It's just in the wrong category. There is no element of Sci-Fi or Fantasy in it. Nor does it need such an element. So, if you can, shift it to a different area of this site.
The fact that it's the sexual fantasy of every pizza faced delivery boy doesn't count.
This is NOT ...
... a SciFi/Fantasy story.
Rare
It's difficult to do very short erotic fiction well. This was a good, quick scene.
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