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Good
I liked the story DG. Very real and believable. I just hope the kids kicked mom out of their lives. She destroyed the family voluntarily, and doesn't deserve a family. Of course all she will have is Paul, if he has her, who will probably lose a lot of money. Maybe June can get her settlement redone since their is now evidence of the cheating.
with the teasing of short chapters it was a oops.
sometimes we out smart ourselves.plot was good,but the way you came across sucked.
Solid story!
Hi -
Great story!
I don't care about whether there is one submission or many; hey, a story is a story (of course I am retired, so maybe I'm more laid back and have more time!).
Give the poor kids a break. None of this was on them! Their mom always loved them and took care of them.
I don't think Dorothy is going to have a very good life - let her have her three rays of sunshine! But then, I wonder, maybe she loved them because she thought someone else was their father? Hmmm.
She will find out it's different seeing someone every five years than it is living with them. I see a sad, lonely woman drifting into old age!
Anyway, keep up the good work!
Great ending
Great ending. Though short chapters can be a problem but usually in my case cause I want to read the rest of the story right away when I know they are from certain authors.
I like the way you handled Dorothy in the end. After all, him being the father is what is the most important thing here, not revenge. Now the question, glad Dynamite Jack brought it up, did she love her children cause she actually thought they were Pauls or did she simply love them because they were her children? Cause she only seemed to be crying when George let it known that Paul wasn't the father but he was. Which really does beg the feeling that she really did want them to be Paul's and she seemed like them being Paul was really important. Now if that is the case, and this is me just talking here, how did she honestly expect her children to react to finding out they were Paul's if it was true. He had a smirk, clearly he didn't care about the kids but simply that he had disgraced George, or thought he did.
I think in either case her relationship with them would have been destoryed anyway so really what was the point? How did she think that was work cause in the end she would still lose even if she got away with what she was going to do unless she didn't even care about them in the end but only Paul above the children.
Just somthing that came to mind at the end of the story.
Good job.
the only thing
That could have been better. Try this on for size. When June stood to speak, she informed Dorothy and Paul that she and George had known about their affair since the first day it started. That she and George had been having a shadow affair at the same times they were having theirs. Then holding up the DNA printouts of her children with results showing that George was their father also. Now that would have been one hell of a twister. Sorry DG, it was a great story and I loved it just as it was. Looking forward to your next one, please don’t keep us waiting too long. A fan always.
Great Story
Great job DG. This story ended just like I thought it would. The cheaters got what they deserved.
Loose ends
I was hoping he could act against Joe and Dixie, or try to convince Paul Dorothy was quite the slut, since she did Joe...
Too bad about June, as well. She opened Paul's brother up for a calssic Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress lawsuit from Paul.
p.s.
When reading chapter three, I found myself hoping, that George was filming and recording their final sex scene. A copy of that delivered to Paul would have been priceless.
Great story, thank you.
The story was lucid and symmetrical. I think you wrote a very nice story, the DNA stuff was a nice poke in the eye for Paul.
Tail End Pete
GREAT ! ! !
You wrote it the way you wanted it to end and that is fine. I am glad that the kids were fathered by George and not by Paul. It really hurt Paul's ego that they were not his. However, I wish Dorthy would have been penalized more for her infidelity. Also, Dixi should bear a lot of the blame since she told Dorthy not to have anymore sex with him and to go ahead and leave George.
The story was yours from the beginning and the ending is fine. It shows you are not a vengeful man except for humiliting her at the reunion by your speach and Divorce Papers being served to her and Paul.
a nonny mouse
This was a very good story, but we know that you are capable of much more. Keep writing for us and try to make the chapters a little longer.
Very Good.
Very Good story.
Very Good writing.
Very Good ending.
I think the situation was handled very well. He didn't want to destroy his children's mother. He got out of a bad scenario with dignity and left the mother with some dignity and repoire with the kids.
I think the reunion speech cut her down about as badly as he could any other way.
Good read.
Good Story...
DG, another good tale. Some may not appreciate the husband taking the high road, but I agree with him, especially concerning the children. The divorce is going to go his way and she is going to suffer through alot more besides.
However.... I think you passed up on a very good jab, that everyone at the wifes table deserved. George should have walked over to her table and congratulated her on her choice of lovers, yes , plural. Then tell her how her best friend knew that her husband was raping her when she was passed out. Paul would have loved to have heard how his best friend had filled Dorothy full of his seed. Especially after he has found out he had no children with his lover and was cuckolded by his own brother. How is Dixie going to explain this to Dorothy? It's just something I do not think I could have passed up, if I was George.
Keep up the good writing
Gus
Good story. Now about that settlement...
A nice little story. It would have been better posted all at once but at least it was done quickly.
One intesting thing about Ohio divorce law covering property distribution, "Marital fault is not a consideration."
Another site says, "Marital conduct is not a consideration in the division of any property." This is now the law in many if not most states. Martial fault/misconduct also has nothing to do with child custody, BTW.
Anyone wanting details should Google for: ohio divorce adultery settlement.
Maybe it's a bit pedantic to point this out. I don't know why I like the fiction I read to be factual. A personality defect?
Hi DG Hear
To all that give comments, Thank you. I write stories that come into my head. I try to add some sex into them because it is a erotica site. I try and make is possibly believeable and sometimes it is parts of real peoples lives. I don't want anyone to be able separate all the reality from all the fiction. I like twist and turns also and leave some stuff to the readers imagination. I think up a lot of stuff after submitting a story also, but then it's to late. It takes 3 to seven days to get a story posted
In this story I left the sex swap out of his speech. Let the friends live with their secrets. That would be harder on them. As for the mother loving her children, ask any mother how she feels about her kids, no matter who the dad.
Well enough said, Thanks for reading
DG Hear
A good read
I agree with Gusteuf and I feel there should have been more done by George to Dorthy. Although he also was cheating it was not out of "love" and he was not getting much at home.
Dorothy was trying to hurt George by telling him the kids weren't his, that she had been having an affair with Paul for so long, and she had always loved Paul not him. She could have just said she was leaving and not tell him the rest. I think by her telling George the kids were Paul's it was likely that the kids relationship with George would have been affected at the expense of her trying to get Paul more into the kids lives. She also showed lack of respect by not telling him face to face.
I think that George should had made it clear to Dorthy, Paul, Dixie, and Joe about the wife swap. I would have George tell Joe that Dixie knew what was happening and responded to him. This would have affected the relationship between all four - Paul being upset with his best friend, Dorothy mad at Dixie for not stopping it and making George happy, and Joe mad at Dixie for wanting George. I would also have George tell Paul about the wonderful sex he had been getting from Dorothy (it would have been better if he recorded it).
I would have also mentioned she was having second thoughts, but was talked into it by Dixie and him. I also would have had George mention to Dorthy that she should had told him and not given him a "Dear John" letter, that she did not show him any respect of a man that was married so long to her, and I would have him tell her that she must be use to them since Paul gave her one years ago. This would have her reflecting that Paul did not respect her at one time. She was trying to hurt him and think it would be more credible for him to do the same to her.
In any case it is your story and I thought it was a good read. I would like your stories submitted together rather in parts as they are short. I look for your stories and hope I see more soon.
Good Story
Thanks for a good read. I enjoyed the way things progressed and am looking forward to your next effort. Thanks again for the story.
Well done
Interesting story and a good read. Infidelity with realistic consequences - well done. Looking forward to more from the author. Thanks
Hi DG...I thought Georges speech was perfect...
but, I was refering to a quiet conversation at their table. All four of them were in on the conspiricy and liars in themselves. they all would be suspect of each other. Joe would have to wonder why Dixie wanted George to screw her and pretend and lie by omission to him. Dorothy would have to hate Joe for taking advantage of her and then be totally pissed at Dixie for knowing and letting her be raped. Paul would have to hate his best friend for cuckolding him, especially after he finds out that he has been cuckolded by his ex-wife and he is bound to wonder if Dorothy knew about the kids being George's all along and just lied to him. After all, he knows that she is capable of lying and betraying anyone. The trust between the conspirators would be shattered and they deserved all that they reaped.
I do not mean to disparage your story...I thought you had George do right for the children and the speech. I just would have liked to see the other four end up tearing themselves apart. The perfect opportunity was there...
I look forward to your next tale.
Gus
Thank you for a good story
the conclusion was perfect, the husband got his revenge without having to resort to violence, and I am not talking about screwing Dixie, talking about the kids were actually his and not Paul's. Kinda saw Paul's two kids not being his either. The guy must have had an ego as wide as the grand canyon,thinking he was the "cock of the walk" and in two short sentences, he was being used by two women.
Dorothy couldn't really complain about his infidelity if she was having an affair as well (would draw too much attention to her affairs). Plus I am happy at the end that the kids still want their Mom in their lives but not the wife of their father.
Just need to work on the timing in the stories and keep writing. Thank you!!
Very nice
Very good story, fiction but it the people in the story showed a lot of normal traits. I am sure that this type of thing dose happen. George did the right thing by not destorying the kids mother. Really a sad story a couple leaving with out love for so long. Looking at the ending if George had started acting like he did the last 2 weeks several years a go things may have been different. I do wish we would have been able to know more of the feeling Dixie and Joe was having and Why Dixie was pushing for Her to leave George for Paul. very very good
I'm always happy to see new work from you
I'm always happy to see new work from you and this story is no exception.
Thanks.
Best ending possible given the back story
Not an insane amount of revenge by the husband and the kids are his. I think you could have went further and wrote how Dorothy and Paul soon find out that living together isnt the same as dating someone. They both seemed like idiots who never grew out of their highschool mentality no matter how old they were.
Paul seemed like an asshole based on his smirking and getting mad when he found out Dorothy's kids werent his. I would say the Dorothy/Paul relationship has about 6 months of life in it. Seems a shame to let it end without them finding out how stupid they were all these years. Dorothy may have an inkling but she doesnt know the half of it yet.
p.s. the short chapters sucked. I know you think they keep the reader coming back for more, but I would guess they frustrate more readers than not. They were a real drawback imo.
p.p.s. there wasnt much about the other couple (George and Dorothy's friends) either. George seems to think he got revenge on them by fucking her but I dont see it. They told Dorothy about all his affairs and kept a 30 year affair and kids by another man from him (doesnt matter if they turned out to be his, they thought they were Paul's kids). Some friends they turned out to be. At the very least, his 'friend' deserves a punch in the nose imo.
WHAT IS THIS!?!!?
A mature man, although with many many weaknesses, that acted out of injured love not pure hate when he breaks it off with his cheating spouse?!?
WHERE'S THE BLOOD!!
lol
I have to agree with almost everyone else, shut up don, in that he did treat the wife with respect with the children. They are hurt too, but he doesn't make a wedge, doesn't say 'me or her'. He lets them move on like he will.
Wish most marrages ended that peacefully.
Now two things that struck me... first like, some others, about the kids and their parentage. I think she 'fell in love' with the father of the children and convenced herself it was the other guy. HAD to be.
See if the husband was the father then she was a cheating whore, BUT if he wasn't she was being a longstanding wife and staying in the marrage for the children's sake.
Twisted? Yes but it can be seen if you get in the head of someone who lies to everyone, even themselves.
She was crying not becouse she destroyed her marrage or what else BUT becouse she discovered she was a whore. She cheated on her husband, the FATHER of her children.
Now onto what else caught my eye. Her crying at the very end. The way she presented herself and calmly destroyed the marrage, why would she be emotionally torn and hurt?
Becouse she sees the truth in her actions and her mistakes.
Heck she could have been trying barely and without understand or ability to try and approach the husband about stopping the divorce.
Only to see what he is moving on.
Loverboy's ego is GONE and crushed. He probally left his 'cheating whore' ("you lied to me and told me that they were mine! I had five kids but now I have none! Look at what you cost me!") Come on with his overblown, cuckolding ego; he is crushed totally in the relationship. It was a power trip for him in many ways.
So she is now alone, but had HOPE from the fact that the husband could have done much MUCH more to her but didn't... maybe there is a chance? Nope. And she sees that at the end.
At least she still has THEIR children. They might be mad now but they are her children. They will always love her. And he left her that, like he says :
"The kids wanted to stay around and talk to their mother. I was kind of happy for that. She really was a good mother to them."
Thank you DG Hear for giving us not only a good read but a story that we can think and talk about.
Great Story
I thought the story was perfect. It would have been easy to make George do more to her. I think it was better that he didn't go overboard. It played out perfect, he got revenge, his children still love him, and he was not nasty about it. Very well wrote story.
Well done
I read this because I enjoyed your part of the "Law of the Heart". This one played much more realistically. I can sympathize with our protagonist and wonder at the duplicity of his "best friend". I really liked the tale, your telling, and the conclusion. I suppose you could say the reunion dinner had it "just deserts". In my mind, June was a non player, her divorce had concluded a year ago, but then without bringing her there , somehow, you could not have gotten in the dig about the children being his brother's.
Wow! Those children and their families certainly have poor role models for faithfulness in in committed relationships. Was there not even one faithful married person?
Well done. Thank you for shring this with us.
Great Ending
I like the way you ended the story. I'm glad the children turned out to be his. I suspected it from the way you worded the letter in Chapter 2 and said so in my comments. Keep up the good work.
Boyd
Chapter 04 - Unfinished Business
As always I applaud a good work, and DG has written this to his own imagination of storyline, one that is very likely in the real world. People are human, make mistake after mistake, and God forgives. People are different, and thats what DG wanted to show, his character George handled the issue differently to most ie not the steriotypical revenge, hunt down, destroy, outcome.
For mine, still a fine read, but didn't quite press the buttons in the end. Your first two chapters were short on length but long on built up tension and drama. These stories can be like going to the movies or theatre in terms of seeing a drama played out, at the end of the really great ones the crowd leaps to their feet and applauds, whistles and yells bravo....their buttons pressed.
DG, I'm pleading.....This one needs a last chapter...an epilogue... to cover the 'unfinished business'. How does George get on with life now? Does he end up dating June, with the obligatory sexual outcome that tears Dorothy and Paul to pieces. I agree with others, Dorothy's relationship with Paul is doomed. Can she end up back with George - God will and George may forgive her(I certainly wouldn't)? Dixie won't be able to keep it secret that Joe raped the incoherent Dorothy(she could now be knocked up with Joe's kid!). Dorothy will be torn that Dixie willingly let George bonk her(and loved it). There will be growing problems with Dorothy's kids now not trusting her after the initial shock is over, the boys get home and have their spouses into them about their whore mother.
There's enough there for a psychiatric convention!
Always....LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE FROM YOU!!!!
Strong Work Author
You hit the isssues dead on and the emotions take care of themselves don't they. Your characters don't wobble - plus your staging and flow are in tune with your style and viewpoint of life. It is clear and uncomplicated - you stay on point and take us there with words and feelings we can relate to.
You are good kind sir - don't get a big head - stay true to your standards and style as you are strongly appreciated in this theme of marital consequence - with High Regard
Well Told
The wife got what she had coming and you told it perfectly. I was very impressed and happy on the choice of ending this story took. Keep up the good work!
A Melancholy Story
That was an entertaining story that had a melancholy feel to it.
Interesting
This story was very interesting, albiet depressing. One think I like about it is that its one of those stories that sticks with you and makes you think.
When I first read the story I was a little surprised at George's lack of reaction/anger at Dorothy. I understood his making the mature decision not to use the kids to punish her by making the kids choose between them. What I didn't understand was why he was willing to meet and or talk to her himself. No matter how you look at it, she treated him horribly. She carried on a long term affair, used him (she thought) to raise her lover's children and then left him without remourse when the youngest turned 18. She may have been a good mother, but she was heartless bitch when it came to him. I could see him telling the kids that he doesn't want anything to do with her.
But, as I thought about the story, this makes perfect sense. Its really a commentary on how sad the situation is. Their marriage was so empty that he can't even get angry at her. Its hard to hate someone or something that you are indifferent too.
Thanks for another great story.
Very nice
Bloody great story mate.
Well done indeed
I think the books balanced. Why should he go to great lengths to exact more revenge on them? The cheaters have both lost their spouses, lost their little secret, lost their children. George has better things to do with his time, enjoying his children and the rest of his life.
Thank you for humanizing the wife somewhat. Were she the completel bitch I originally thought she was, the situation would have caused her no pain or remorse at all. She and Paul won't make it. An occasional few days together is not the same as living with someone. Once the excitement has worn off they will bot be alone and that in itself is a very satisfying revenge.
Thank you! You were right and I was wrong.
Patti
extra payback
Everything that happened was great altho I think the kids could have reacted more harshly. George needs more payback such as a loving friend, Paul and her needs to split. Maybe an epilog is called for.
A measured, rational response
You are correct in your statement... everyone handle divorce in their own way. George is a good example of one who reacted in a measured, reasoned way, not really vengeful... he could have been much more so, and balanced. Divorce always hurts, I think, and healing comes only if one allows it, and with time. Well crafted, stated calmly and with evident forethought, and with regard to all concerned. Well done, very well done.
More revenge...don't think so...
True, Dorothy maintained a "fraud" throughout the marriage, but George was no prize either, so it's difficult for me to have him on a moral "high horse." Both characters are flawed, both were cheaters (remember through their marriage, George was cheating too and Dorothy knew it!). Both characters stayed in this mediocre relationshib because of what was considered "a marriage of convenience" - no love lost here. So he did what he had to do, but more revenge? don't think so...
good story
I really enjoyed this story. Very realistic.
A Great Story
DG i think George should have taken away any visiting rights to the grand kids she screwed John thinking he would be the father of the kids but he struck out his sperm was so flat that georges sperm count washed it away.i hope dorothy learned her lesson .
Pat
Atlanta,Ga
Revisiting What now
Essentially it's a fun read. If you take it that way – you’ll enjoy the story to its full extent. It's written well and you are hooked on the story, but the emotions of the characters are - not there, or should I say they externalized into action. So you move with the husband right away into an action/ revenge mode and it feels good even if at the back of your head you know that to the most part it does not work that way in real life. But - and that's what is important- in the story it works! The culmination, is especially fun, even if it clearly reminds you of some climactic moments you can remember from the old Jerry Springer -as I said it's all in good fun!
More revenge, why?
He publically labeled her a slut and Paul as nothing more than a cheat. He proved Paul had sired no children by his own wife or by Paul's wife. He Sued Paul for the adultry. He got more than fair from the divorce action. He destroyed the image the children had of their mother. He made the exwife appear as she was a small minded egotistical slut. And he got the trash out of the house. He doesnt need any more revenge, he wiped the board clean.
One very realistic ending!
So many couples have lived similiar lives and marriages. But truths never realized or revealed. I found that yes, hubiie also cheated but when a spouse, man or woman isn't lvving you and offering you sexual comfort...they deserve the results of what comes from adandoning their own spouse as someone who shoult be thier lover too?
Haveing ben married twice, I know first hand what it fee;s like to be ignored in bed and taken for granted so I cheated a few times. I can happily report I remarried and have been married 31 years and never strayed once. Didn't need to. My pressent wife has taken care of everything I never had with my first "ice maidenof almost ten years! Love the way you handled your's, a lot more wisely than did I! Bravo for great story!
DHG you old Softy
Yeh I agree he did the right thing but maybe a little more detail on her thoughts just a little more than. She cried....
they reconcile in the next chapters
wimp gets cucked again and chooses a lifetime supply of creampies
another wimp
another wimp by dg hear.
Not Believable
Once it was discovered that the speach would not be appropriate, the mic would have been shut off and the MC would have ushered the husband off the stage. If he wouldn't be moved, I'm sure security would have eventually helped.
Regardless, the last ten sentences in the so-called speach would never be heard, but the message would nonetheless have been conveyed.
Additionally, it is unrealistic that the mother would have agreed to breakfast the next day--especially in any state of mind other than furious!
You need to study human nature a little bit more before you can really say you're an author.
she was never
his wife. every fuck was her an paul even if it was hubby's cock in her. so for two weeks he fucked her like a whore and now she has feeling for him. oh joy of joys. but she still is leaving him, she just dodn't know how.
the kids were to nice
if i found out my mom did that to my dad i would never and i do repeat never talk to her respectfully again. She is a tramp and nothing but a whore.
If she did talk to me i would call her a slut and a whore toss her $5.00 and walk off.
OH YEAH
HA HA HA!!!
Why are there more chapters? They aren't needed. Oh well.
Nice Story.
But after that many years of cheating I felt bad he ONLY divorced her.
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