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To simply put it, WOW!
An interesting tale you spun here. The descriptions you used were splendidly chosen. I hope that there will be more to this story and of the characters you have started in this what it seems to be the first of many installments. Keep up the writing and as I see this is your first story good work on it!
Looking for more!!!!
Interesting, and wanting more!!! Looking forward to other installments of this story. Kept me enthralled with the story line and wondering what could happen to him and if he finds his eternal gift. Great work, keep up the great work :)
very original
Have not read a Halloween story quite like this! Good luck with the contest.
I liked the
idea and the concept of your story. The spelling errors and some grammatical errors made it a little hard to read. Great start. Proofread or get an editor and it will be fantastic.
Hard to follow
This was an interesting story and a novel one. However, it was hard to follow because of the typos, etc. You need to edit better or have somebody do it for you.
I agree
with the editing comment. It could have been a lot better if there weren't so many typos, changes of verb tense, etc.
ROCHESTER
:O i live in rochesterrrrrr!
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