All Comments on 'Pool of Dreams'

This is an excellent story. I think you moved into the story a bit to quick but overall it was a really good read. I can see this story going somewhere and hopefully will become a series. Good Luck

and that's a good thing. :)

The only thing that I would suggest (and it's kind of a personal preference thing with stories) would be fewer characters in future stories, with more detailed sex scenes. This seemed a little too much, but was still a great start.

I'm all for willing suspension of disbelief and all, but the virgin with the 10 inch dick that is suddenly banging four gorgeous nymphettes has been done to death.

I think the story would have been much better if you introduced some realism. Give the guy an average cock size. Have him be embarrassed about getting a hard on in front of his cousin. Have him blow his load before he gets started and have the girls "comfort" him.

If they're cousins, why would her Dad be mad if he was there? He should've dove into the water and put on his trunks. That's what he originally came there to do was swim, very crappy ending.

very fuun. looking forward for something like this again and watever happens next:)

-LW

A 10" dong - four horny girls in rapid succession - escapes Dad by seconds - likewise the dog - then 8 more hot girls waiting for him..... even fantasy-land needs to have some credibility - this lost it all.

Stan

Great comedy at the end. Very erotic story, I am looking forward to reading more of your writings! Did anyone in this story get preggie?

What the hell, if those girls were all hot, shouldn't he be hard after playing with them in the pool for half an hour? He only got hard after they all removed their tops, but not when his cousin was rubbing his chest. That would've gotten me hard instantly if she was that hot.

Still, I liked the story and it was well written otherwise :)

really great story! but you should have an editor spell check your work in the future...just a thought...

Good story, but her parents were on vacations in France. Why her dad was there?

That started really well, but quickly gets ridiculous. He cums, what, four consecutive times without a break? This sounds like it was written by a virgin.

trouble to do ANY proof reading? There are so many typo's and wrong words it ceases to be even slightly excuseable. Add to that a trully bad story line even for this type of "fantasy" writing.

10 inch cock????you sleep good boy????

Forget what this "anonymous" guy says, this was a very hot and sexy story, the ending was hilarious BTW!

An otherwise competent writer who lacks respect for his readers, his characters, and his craft.

You earn respect when you show respect.

Please.

Good start well derived and flow. and agreed hot sexy, and dear lord the ending was hillarious, hope to find and read more of what happens to him.

ALL GIRLS BECOME PREGO AND HE MOVES ON TO THE NEXT HAREM

10=1

Guess this is how Hottest Girl in the World would have been if his cousin's friends were around. Still a great story, if not better as the main hero has more females to satisfy and enjoy. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.

How many guys are wishing they were Tyler.

Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Eight college girls and only 10 inches to share

Got more of a laugh reviewing the comments.

Your story is a fun comedic tale from a writer with a fantastic imagination. God bless young honey males.

My comment is more about your misunderstanding of the female anatomy.

To start her fertility is not something, or a place you can enter.

Your penis will not go into a cervix, or through a cervix.

I cannot imagine any male Cumming Four times in quick succession, even with chemical support for an erection.

None the less, I liked the tale and look forward to the movie.