- All
Comments (9) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
*
mint-vinegared?
A little on the bizarre side - last two lines - killer
odd
nice write, odd wind blew from the mouth of 12 for everything is bizzare to that one perhaps that is because they are bizzare
I found this poem to be very good (my opinion of course) but ...nice write
*
I like the changes you made to tie the ending in with the rest of the poem.
~~
The wind's not odd,
it's pure innocence;
it's the reader
and writer that are out there,
looking for ~ something.
A nice write.
Some nice changes...
...you've made here, WSO. "Sometimes roasts float/on the breeze" is, I think, quite good. I also agree with 1201 that the last two lines are excellent.
tz
#=#
Your poem was mentioned in the new poems review thread.
Tess
.
my slanted green eyes stalk
the neighbours’ silky bantam.
Awesome write!
different
eerie, almost. I hate the score thing, because I think it is closer to 95 than 75,but I didnt want to hit 100% and have only voted a 4.
I might suggest one tiny change.
where you have "mint-vinegared", try it without the - ed on vinegar. It makes it softer, just by the deletion of the hard "d" sound
the rest of the poem seems fem throughout ( regardless of the sex of the bird, lol)
.
I really enjoyed this, made me think of howling winds and halloween :)
~
I agree with highnoon+, mint-vinegared is on the bizarre side, of course that's my favorite side and ditto the last two lines.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to It's an odd wind or
More submissions by wildsweetone.