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English
well done....
I like this poem as well as Wanton Vixxen's precursor.
excellent
Lebroz I thought your poem was wonderful. I can't wait to see more!
.
This is nice. I like it a lot. In some areas, it didn't flow as good... mostly in the first couple stanzas, and the one I copied and pasted below. I think there are too many "you" words. It's yours, and I'm not telling you to change it. Just my opinion.
You work so hard to please,
you know not what you do;
you only know her face's promise
for you, your sole reward.
Well done
I'm usually not much for poetry but wanted to try something different. I really enjoyed it.
~~
Thank you, leviluv, you have an excellent eye. Let me tack your comment in my poetry "playbook" and see what comes about. Perhaps a revision or a completely new look at the power of a woman's smile.
delightful
images...romance at its best...luv it...blue
I smiled
I know that feeling and enjoyed the way you brought it to light (~_~)
.
I'm glad to hear that I was at least a "little" helpful, and you didn't take it hard. The forum is scaring me being new. ::blushes::
THERE IS NOTHING..
more beautiful, than a soul
leaving all disguise,
and finding itself with a smile.
It is the warmest gesture
of the heart..you captured
my *smile* with this one.
-sGp-
* Big Smiles * .. winks n grins too, lol
I love it LeBroz. Men can be so romantic when they put their minds to it, and here I think you have hit a bulls eye !!
Thinkin not much more a gurl likes, then to hear how her smile effects you ... in a poem. Vavoom Baby !! Hoping you find your one my friend ... sweet poem and sexy as heck ~!!
My lips "are a' twitch"...
as I read your romantic version of a man's strength and resolve liquefied - all by the powerful mystique of a woman's smile. I am flattered that My darkly ominous poem inspired you to pen this much softer voice of infatuation and confession of a male's weakness. But then again, Leon, it proves the power of ANY woman's smile - whether it's sweet or cyanide - can make a blind man see.
Her way, that is.
Very smiley Vixxx
You're in trouble now!!
Leon, Now that I know how easily you can be manipulated, you had best stay hidden up there in the frigid north -- and don't tell anyone else you wrote this or some woman will end up wearing not a ring, but you, on her finger. CP
Quite the contrast!
I see "Cyanide Smile" inspired this piece. That's quite a contrast, creating a soft, pink, romantic verse from a hard, red, vampiric-toned verse. I see you've experienced the power of a woman's smile first-hand. But this is a case where forewarned does not make you adequately forearmed. Patricia
The romantic version
I can see how "Cyanide Smile" would inspire this, and I can see it has got a much softer feel, but still do not doubt the power of a woman's smile!
What a softie
What we need now is to find you a finger to get wrapped around--someone with a great smile. Nice contrast to Wanton Vixxxen's "Cyanide Smile". Whether a vampiric seductress or a softly warming romantic, our smiles are devastating.
It worked so well on me!!
That's how they do it -- I know -- it happened to me and the next thing I know, she's moving in, cats and all!!! Not complaining.
It works for me!!
You've seen thru us! Blind 'em with a smile and they trip over themselves just for more of that smile....and maybe more!!
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