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Schoolgirl's Desire

byCuriouswife©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous10/12/05

a bit on the short side

is good in most of my favorite pens...but...this needs a bit more power...standing as is ...its ok..but, the idea is really great...Imho >I would add a tad more juice...blue

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by LeBroz10/12/05

~~

It's perfect ~ and blue's right too.
As a stand-alone, it could be stronger;
but in a collection, it'd make me want to turn the page and read more of what you offer.

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by sack10/13/05

enticing.....

you work the magic of this poem well....Bravo!

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by lobomao10/16/05

•)

Late september days
when afternoon hours
seem like forever
and their heat
is the heat of a sigh
held close
is it then that we
for our short time
start to know each other
eyes forward
hands down
crisp cotton
fresh pressed silks
an offered apple
a lesson of lines
form and flow
the question I am dared to answer
do i take the fruit
to my mouth
and study at your feet

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by lobomao10/16/05

•)

Late september days
when afternoon hours
seem like forever
and their heat
is the heat of a sigh
held close
is it then that we
for our short time
start to know each other
eyes forward
hands down
crisp cotton
fresh pressed silks
an offered apple
a lesson of lines
form and flow
the question I am dared to answer
do i take the fruit
to my mouth
and study at your feet

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by lobomao10/16/05

•)

whoops! sorry!! My laptop is a bit quirky and i submitted my comment twice... duh, how lame am I?

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