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actually, this should be in the romance category..
it's such a bittersweet, gentle tale, told masterfully. On a more general level, it points out the need to never take anyone we love for granted, lest they "disappear" into leaves. Probably your best story, full of more feeling than usual. It would be interesting to know whether the creation of this story corresponds to something positive and new in your own life!
Damn
This was good.
So much of life in so few words.
Very well done, dr_m.
You never fail to amaze me, Dr M!
Breathless, inspired and still in awe of your talent. Thank you.
J
very interesting
a little slow to start but the build up was good. I liked it.
Really liked this
Cool story Doc. I was trying to guess what the deal was with her, but couldn't get it until it happened.
Once again, a guy don't know what he's got 'til it's gone.
And in the Spring?
Will she be reborn next Spring?
I hope so. The characters deserve to continue.
As chilling as regret.
A beautifully rendered portrait of isolation. Subtle, aching with restrained emotion, and vividly true.
Brilliant shower scene, as terrible in its innocence as the bloody one in psycho. Their shared innocence, mortally wounded by his growing impatience with her presence in his life.
Thank you for this heartbreaking little gem and for leaving the patch of hope unchanged at the end. Here's hoping we'll all be wiser the next time we're offered something precious than we were the first time. Or the first dozen.
Leaves
That was really beautiful.
thank you
thank you for putting into words what and how i'm sure so meany of us feel. thanks
Transcendent!
This is an amazing piece, not just contest-winning (and I hope it does win) but publishable as is, and should be. I was utterly transfixed from the first word to the last. Beautiful, haunting tone, and vivid, poetic description that drew me right in. The shower scene was a chilling little foreshadow that gave me literal goosebumps. I was truly moved by your exploration of the Great Mystery of life, the perceived boundaries of our souls and the existential questions it all raises. You are masterful here, Dr. M, and this piece is simply divine, pun most definitely intended! :)
The world was profligate with beauty ...
And this piece even more so. This is simply superb. It's drenched in beauty and power, with fine music and poetry through every line of it. I fell in love with the characters as simply and sweetly as they fell for each other, and mourned with them as well. I agree that this is supremely publishable, and will speak very highly of your talents. It's such beautiful work, man ... I paused over and over to savor the richness of individual lines, lingering through it with a sense of physical luxury.
Pulsating with emotion
Superb Dr. The words swept on me like a tide, unstopable like love, desire and longing.
A well-written story
but I thought it took too long to get to the point. I couldn't help but think the description of the protag. went on too long and, if I hadn't been reading this as a contest entry, I would have stopped. The climax of the story seemed unsubstantial too. When I finished it, I asked myself "Is that it? Is that all there is to it?" I read the ending again before I decided that really was all there was.
Beauty
I really enjoyed the richness of the descriptions, although as some others have said the description of Harold might have been a little shorter. And I was looking for more at the end too, I would have liked to know his reaction. But altogether it was a breath-taking story with a fantastic plot :)
Great story
And here I was thinking this was a story about yardwork. :)Great bit of mood setting and storytelling, Doc.
Rumple
Excellent Story!!!!!!!!!!!
Very well written Doc. I loved the story of isolation. You really hit the inner emotions of the character. Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!
Heartrending
Truly moving story taken from different perspective. Nice Story
Indescribable...
Your writing is pure poetry and such a pleasure to read. I wish I had the words to tell you how impressed I am by your wonderful story. This is a real Halloween horror story ... no witches, no goblins but a hauntingly beautiful piece of work. Good luck!
Cookie :)
Absolutely Beautiful!
Nothing short of breath-taking...
I disintegrated right along with her.
Beautiful!
A sad, yet beautiful story that touched me deeply. Masterfully told. My only concern would perhaps be that so much time was devoted to building up Harold's character and describing his relationship to April, that the "downfall" and ending almost seemed rushed by comparision. However, still one of the best novels I've ever read here.
Haunting
Your horror and sci-fi stories can be scary, so I decided not to read this before going to bed last night. Hey...if Stephen King can admit it, so can I...I am scared of the bogeyman under my bed!
But what I found here wasn't scary so much as haunting. And beautiful. Your description of Harold and his life drew me in and filled me with longing and loneliness. And April's presence in his life made me happy, too. While I've come to expect very hot, explicit sex scenes from you, this was sweet and gentle...and somehow just as hot. The entire story just led me along through all these emotions. I was disappointed as Harold began to ignore her (although I resisted yelling at him through my computer). Then his loss of her filled me with sadness and wistfulness. Very satisfying read.
love you
I love the way you think, the way you write. exquisite. love you! keep writing!
Beautiful
I didn't find the beginning too long at all, in fact it was essential to the story.
A lovely glimpse of the struggle in connecting to your inner self, and then the horror of loosing the vision, and falling back. But we are left with hope, as he can see with despair what has happened.
Thank-you.
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