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Very well done and very Real World
A wife who makes a serious group of blunders. Immature and one dimensional thinking with no consideration or understanding of how her actions were affecting herself and others.
Over protective and hypersupportive parents who have to deal with the real world results of parenting gone awry.
Thank God for Grandma's, everyone should have about six or eight of the type in this story.
Little sister on a brain dead ego trip involved in drugs.
A husband who realistically tried to deal with his problems and in the end almost allowed himself to fall out the bottom of the barrel and succum to depression.
Add a counselor who had been there and done that and knew how to read people well and you have a great story.
This is how relationships recover whether readers understand or believe it or not. The fact that the story brings out the window of opportunity and that it falls in the six to ten week time period, is a real time frame counselors look at for reconcillation. My spouse and I have been sitting in Verne's chair for over 25 years, on target Longhorn.
You did good with this one and even your putting Barbara's life on the line by sleeping with him and accepting the risk of death to show him her love is a nice touch.
Over all very good, keep on writing, "you done good."
Writingdragon
Congrats on the
E. It was very well deserved. This is a wonderfully done story and well worth the time it takes to read it. You put a lot of work on this one and it definitely shows. Great job.
Liked the story
Husband was a real person and you portrayed his doubts and anger very well.
I cant help but wondering if you went for the reconciliation as some kind of writing exercise though. I guess you had to or the story would have been pretty pointless but its hard to believe that they could recover after he had spent so many months distancing himself emotionally from his wife (like the therapist said).
Again, I understand that you had to have a hook to allow the story to continue and for them to eventually get back together, but the forced counseling was a little disconcerting to me.
Also Lydia was a bit inconsistant. She was supposed to be a no-nonsense type person who didnt sugar coat things but she was willing to almost drive guy to suicide just so her grandchild could have a second chance? Then she is proud of herself when its over? Beating a guy until you break his spirit so he will stay with your stupid grandchild sounds a bit above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to supporting family to me. Even if he did recover, it was way too much imo. Doesnt sound very romantic or happy either.
My second problem with the forced reconciliation was that I didnt understand how it was possible. He was willing to kill himself but not give up his job? He was willing to play russian roulette but not lose a promotion? If he was in such dire straights emotionally, I dont quite know why he kept going to the counseling and why he didnt tell his employers to fuck off.
Even though I thought there was a few small problems with how you forced things to happen, the underlying story and emotion was top notch. Thanks very much for writing.
Brilliant work
This is /one/ "husband forgives wife" story I am willing to credit with being not only an excellent read but also very realistic. This was no "2 minute solution".
I loved it. Well worth the wait to be able to read all of it in one go.
Welcome back!
You've been busy! I'm torn between being annoyed that I'm two hours late for work and being delighted at having had two hours of great entertainment already this morning.
I'll take being delighted!
Your character development is outstanding. The story line kept me involved and interested all the way through.
Hell! I may just re-read it and be another two hours late.
Thanks again for the time, effort and talent you share with us.
Loved it!
Complex, unpredictable, and thoroughly enjoyable.
Well done ...
I salute you ... a well deserved 'E.'
Cookie :)
Brilliant!
You have written a story that stands head and shoulders above most posted on this site. You captured the complexity of the human experience, for the rest of them, throw in a little more sex!
Questions
This story is over 17 of these pages long. That works out to probably over 150 typed pages.
Why write this much and stop there? Why not take it through another 50 to 150 pages, fleshing out the work life, fleshing out the rest and have a real novel?
I decided that I wouldn't post a story longer than 40 or so pages because anything longer really should be a novella or more. Once you get past that page count, the amount of room means you automatically get into the details that don't fit in a shorter piece.
I wouldn't say this for most of the longer stories I've seen here. Your story has novel potential because it's character, not plot or device driven. And you have hooks built in - Kim, the grandmother, work - where you can add on.
Ok, this was some of your best work
Very very good. I like reading from start to finish. One thing I like was that the husband wasn't sitting back on his hands, he was trying to be proactive thorough the story. He didn't let the wife just run him over because she could or he loved her so much he was willing to let her.
Of course the grandmother was a neat twist. I could almost hear the "Dance puppets dance" when she entered the story. Just kidding, but it was still a good story.
Kudos and keep 'em coming.
-Risq
Very well done...
I've watched you grow as a writer over these short several months, and I must say this one is the cap stone so far. Terrific job. You got inside his head, allowing us to feel his anguish and pain.
Whether you had them reconcile or not, the underlying story was excellant. Personally, I liked the reconciliation. Again, well done.
Thank you
Great
I enjoyed this story very much. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Boyd
GREAT Story
I was emotionally involved in the story within the first few paragraphs. So glad it was submitted in it's full length rather than daily installments, I would have gone crazy. Great charactor development. Can I get Lydia's address? I am not registered so I will sign this here. akman
Good story but...
...really, really long. For this site I think you would be better served separating such stories into sections/chapters, with each new set of chapters put in each wekk or so. Not only does it keep people from inwardly saying "OH come on" with stories of this length (lets face facts there are many who don't want to read what's effectively an online novel). The story on its own merit is good & I would give it a 4, but it's the length that made me lower my score.
Wonderful
One of the most engaging and heart-felt stories I have read here. The characters were real as well as the situations. Lydia was supurb--for a coniving old bitty--lovable but definately coniving. I can see why this story took so long. It was very well put togeather. Great job!
JimDinMN
Brilliant
Interesting and captivating. So nice to read all in one instead of chapters at infrequent intervals. Believable characters and actions. Well done.
Ignore the man behind the curtain jackng off
As usual, Longhorn_07 has produced a fascinating if long story about infidelity and redemption. As usual Don87654 has mad a total ass of himself.
I'm sure that Longhorn will take Don's comments for what they are worth - absolutely nothing. The man is certifiable. Please, please, Don87654 - go to some other website and annoy someone else for a while. Give we Lit readers a break from your very sick mind.
Requital was another excellent study by Longhorn It was annoying only in that I sat up all night and read it in one sitting, when I should have been getting my beauty sleep. I hold him personally responsible.
Author's Note:
I just deleted a comment. I’ve never done that before except for comments that begin and end with four-letter words. This time, Don87654 accused me of plagiarizing “Requital” from some novel. Well, that’s what he meant anyway. He couldn’t spell it properly. I’m trying to find out if such defamatory statements might be actionable.
Fantastically
so good, I’m going to turn right around and read it again. Lydia was so original and so believable, every family has a “Lydia” or a male counterpart or at least they should have. Nothing replaces the years of experience or should I say the wisdom that comes from all that experience, in helping and guiding the younger members of a family. I’ve always told young people that they will be miles ahead in life if they not only listen to their elders, but learn from what they have to say. Nothing teaches like experience, but you don’t have to experience everything yourself to learn. Great story, great emotional impact, hell, everything about it was great. A fan always.
THe best of the best
Thank you for the best ever here on Literotica.
A great story by an excellent writer
Certainly a bit long, but then again who am I to complain since I spent a lot of the morning reading this and neglecting my work. My only concern, and I should have seen this coming with a name like "Longhorn," is that he is a Cowboy fan, and being from the Philly area I am not sure I can handle that. Thanks again, great story, and keep it up...
So good that I had to read it all at one sitting.
Excellently constructed and a believable story. Remembering "Seperate Lives" and "Lyin' Eyes", I expected no less. Longhorn_07 produces some of the best material in Literotica.
I'm NOT the only ONE!!
HEllo all and for cageytee, I feel your pain, he's made me late TWICE now for work.
But it's my fault...when I see his name I shoudl KNOW that it will be a great story.
Thanks Buddy,
Don't know if this your best, but I can't think of one better. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Now I'm going to have to send myself a stress reliever, trying to catch back up to everything I should have been doing while I was captivated!
Dave
Wow!
This was the first story of yours I've read. It was fantastic...couldn't stop reading! Damn, now my eyes are all blurry!
Sorry
Too Long, too bloated. You took 18 pages to write a 5 page story. Big is not better just bigger. Read Saki. I am not being nasty, just trying to help. False friends give false praise. beware.
top shelf
eyes are a little sore... but definatly worth the read.
thanks for the effort, am looking forward to more of your writing
Stunning. Thank You For the Read
This has to be one of the best stories I have ever read on this site. I will gladly read anything of yours I ever see again. This was a truly well-written story. Until then I remain...
-Just @ Fan
****
Been waiting for something new from you. Another well written and well thought out story.No excess characters and ridiculous sub plots. I of course though have my personal reservations about forgiving and reconcilliation. Like Dr Phil says the best way to predict future behaviour is by past behaviour. I especially liked how the characters were almost average people in income and lifestyle. You don't fall into the trap a lot of writers do with every character being a millionaire with thousands to pop for investigators and spyware. Average people fuck up to .
Again another great story from a great writer.
Great Story !
Great story...My only question was regarding her misscariage. Was he the one who had gotten her p.g.then..or maybe someone else..He never asked...I sure wondered. Never believed her that she did not have intercourse with another..But thanks for the complete story at once. Hate when you have to wait days..weeks for the ending...Your a great story teller..Keep up the good work
Being retired is great!
I can sit down and read a "short story" like this in one go (with three refills on my mug of tea!)
I wondered why I hadn't seen anything of you for a while! Now I know.
I agree with Cloacas, there is a nice richness of character that could make this a full blown novel.
Very well written, you have a nice gift and I hope to see you use it often!
Sadly, I guess size does matter...
The few negative comments I see about this story is mainly regarding it's length. To me (trying to author some stories myself), I appreciate the effort, thought and difficulty that goes behind putting together longer, more involved stories. It's not easy. When done well, such as in this story, it brings enjoyment, entertainment and edjucation to the readers.
Bbookmarks were invented for a reason. The author doesn't have to shorten it or break it into posted chapters for us. Just like the characters in this story needed to do, we as readers need to take some responsibility. Look at the length, style and genre of the story before you begin and then decide if you want to invest the time to read it. Sometimes I like it being posted all at once, rather than having to wait for the next posting to see what happens next. Then I can read it at my pace.
My hats off to you and thanks for a great story.
Long story
I normally dont read storys this long on this website but yours grabbed my attention and held it through most of the story.
Whew
What can I say that hasen't already been said in the other comments. Extremely well done, emotional, delving into the damage that infidelity causes. I liked the ending and also liked the fact that the happy ending was preceded with agony, torment and much uncertainty. In this case, the adultery of one spouse did not totally destroy the untion, but it came very close. I think that we all acknowledge that most of the time there is no happy ending - the union just ends with a whimper, not a bang. Thanks Longhorn, you make this site worthwhile.
Great
what can I say it was a long story but a great one.. Very very well done
not too long & it all makes sense
Yes, it took a long time to tell us about Steve & Barb and the rest of the cast. It was worth it. Also, Great story - He had to be the one that got her P.g., because she never had intercourse with anyone else.
thank you for writing a story to the end
a good story and to the end,no two sentences and wait for two days or weeks.
This story is so good...
...and Longhorn's other stories are so good that I just added him to my favorite authors list. I just did a quick check of Literotica's "250 Favoritest Authors", and Longhorn isn't even on there! That's just wrong. This story shows he's clearly one of the best authors gracing this website.
I'm sorry for the readers who had trouble with the story's length. It may be long, but there's no fluff to it.
Worth the wait!
Thank you for a really good story. The wait was worth it.
On a structural note, more than a few pages overlap from one to the next. That I can deal with, but a few times the pages gapped and I had to try and figure out what had happened during that gap. On a more positive note, it was nice to read a story without the grammer and spelling problems.
Anyway, thanks again for the story.
very well done
All the elements. I'm shocked at the score.
To anonymous who left the "helpful" critique that it was too long: that's not helpful. "You spent too much time on the sister's youth." That would be helpful if that's where you feel he went awry. "We didn't need any incident from the therapist to prove his bona fides." That would be the kind of thing that would be helpful. "It's too long," is of no value to a writer. He's probably already tried to think of what is absolutely necessary and what doesn't really advance the story. If you have something specific, he can understand that and it might turn out to be helpful. Maybe your complaint was that you thought the therapy went on too long, or too many sessions were described. How does he have any idea how to approach it with just a simple, "Too long?" I'm not saying you're right or wrong; just that it doesn't help.
There was one comment that suggested it might be too short. That's easier to approach and Cloacas indicated some direction in that regard.
Very good story
I enjoyed your story very much
Thanks
First, it is not unusual for me to ignore stories that have a 01 in the title, or any other indicator that it is part of a long series. Who knows when or if I will ever get to read the remaining chapters? If this had come out in pieces, I probably never would have read it.
The story was a very enjoyable read. Thank you for taking the time to write this for us.
Lydia was enjoyable for the most part. However, I think she could have encouraged her granddaughter to be more sexually adventuresome without her own toy collection spilling out into the room. My wife and I are pretty sexually adventurous. Yet I can’t imagine we would be showing our children, or grandchildren the actual toys that had been inserted into their mother or g’moms vagina or anus. Typing the word "dildo" into any search engine would probably have given Barbara more than enough ideas on how to ignite her sex life. Instead, poor Barbara will forever have to visualize old Nony bent over with a clear blue butt plug rammed up her ass. Can you ever wash your hands enough after touching your Nony’s favorite anus stretcher?
When the Kimberly character was first mentioned, you knew that she was going to come into play, in a sexual way, later in the story. However, by not building that up a little better, it almost seems like she was inserted in a rewrite. I really liked the way you used her for revenge and what Steve perceived as a solution. However, without double checking, my impression is she was mentioned at the initial family meeting and then boom, she comes over much later in the story, and is all over Steve. While you tried to blend her in at that point and backtrack enough to explain her and her behavior, it would have been more enjoyable if her character had been "brought along" better.
It wasn't too long for me. I did not think you drug the story out needlessly. My impression of those complaining is that there are too many words between “the good parts” for them to be able to enjoy it. If something about it bothers you, don’t bitch, just go on to something else. Part of it, I read this morning and finished it this afternoon. It was there for me to enjoy at my leisure in whole or in part.
Loved It
Thoroughly enjoyed it.Eric J Smith
Your talent is tangible!
Read the comments and see how you have pleased, entertained, and inspired your readers! Simply a wonderful read by an exceptional writer. I am proud to know you, cyberly speaking.
One of you best works.
And one of the best I've ever read. I still like your "Separate Lives" better, But then again it's my all time favorite story. If anyone liked this story and hasn't read that one then you really need to give it a try.
As to the length I didn't find it at all to long. I'd much rather have it all at once or broken into sections that the author posts each day or two. I hate having to wait days and weeks to pick up a story again. If I don't have time to finish a long story then I can stop, add that page to my favorites then pick up right where I left off when I have time.
I haven't seen many comments from the anti reconciliation people yet. I've been meaning to give my views about that for a while. They are right when they say a cheater is most likly not going to change. In real life Barbara would most likly have never been able to stop lieing and spinning the truth or admit what she did was adultery. Steve would have soon moved out of state and left no fowarding address.
With that said I do think people can change. I read one comment that quoted Dr. Phil "The best way to predict future behavior is by past behavior" I don't think Dr. Phil is saying that is the only behavior that person is capable of. If so just what is it he's doing for a living?
Do I think the change needed for this reconciliation is likly? No. Look at what it took in this story. Barbara had to realize that she needed to change or she was going to lose Steve, And love him enough to do it. Steve had to care enough to give her a chance after he had nothing but lies from her for months and had already given up once. Even then it wouldn't have been enough without a really clever grandmother and some luck.
But you know what? I like unlikly storys. I want to read about unliky people that love each other enough to change. If I want to read about what happens to most people in a mess like this I'll pick up a newspaper or copy of the legal news.
Metzov
wonderful!
This story drew me in from the moment I began. I started it at work and pulled it up again as soon as I got home this evening. You are such a talented writer! I know because I felt a real connection to the characters and a desire to keep reading through all the pages (which I never do!). Please keep writing stories like this, that are both erotic and intelligent.
Steve Was Screw
While this is an interesting and well written story, it is apparent to me that the author has never been in the position of complete betrayal. He has never sat alone in a house at night looking down the barrel of a pistol, and wanted to pull the trigger.
His wife has disrespected him in public, and is cheating on him. When, he leaves her, and throws himself in his work to get past the pain, and try to get on with his life, his bosses basically tell him that if he is not good enough to keep his wife, he is not good enough to be promoted. This after the years he has spent going to school after his regular work, and apparently doing good enough work to be promoted, suddenly he is not good enough.
His ego has taken a tremendous blow in finding that he can’t keep his wife happy, now he finds that his bosses are not happy with him. So much for being rewarded for dedication and good job performance.
He is forced to face his pain and short comings to the point that he finally does pull that trigger, but instead of a fast easy death from a bullet, he chooses a slow painful lingering death from AIDS.
Lydia and his bosses are so proud of themselves because he is back with Barbara, they ignore the fact that their actions drove him to suicide.
If he could have stayed away from Barbara, buried himself in his work and gotten the deserved promotion, he could have regained his self-esteem and gotten on with his life.
What??? No one knew his depression was this bad??? What kind of therapist could miss the signs from a man force to attend the therapy sessions? He didn't catch on until after the trigger was pulled.
Other Authors take Note
Constructively - the length had pros and cons - impatience to see chapter 2,3&4 might have been better in my mind given the time and focus available necessary for a complete read - worth it in every way but only with a break for lunch and --.
Other authors hopefully will see that while infuriating him through three situations the flagrancy wasn't truly insurmountable over the long reconciliation period the author wisely used - nice touch on the lie detector.
I cocked my head just once when he suddenly capitulated to her coming home - but at that stage in his depression I could see that he felt that the whole situation was so screwed up how could this hurt anymore than what had preceeded it.
Sterling work Author - but a reconciliation also takes time, introspection, both viewpoints and pages to be credible as you have shown here. Very entertaining and imaginative - thanks again - With High Regard
really well-done
Just wanted to add my voice to the others who are rightfully praising this story. It is long, but it is also very involving; and perhaps because it is so long, the gradual move towards a reconciliation becomes more believable (for me at least).
Many congratulations on a great story!
ohio
Well, I have to step away from the crowd.
I didn't like it. The writing was fabulous so it got a high mark. But I just couldn't believe the premise. At 53 I know that a cheater will always cheat. Ok, may be 1 out of 10. And having been in "therapy" I know that is very seldom works.
I was put off by his being adamant about the divorce and because he caved under pressure from his employer and family.
I usually like your stuff and the writing was good, but I just couldn't buy into the scenario.
Sorry
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