You need to learn how to spell correctly & how to put verbs in their proper tense. Errors distract one's attention from the story.
by
Anonymous11/04/05
Some people should just read, not write!
Does anyone ever proof what they write before they submit it? I applaud you for attempting to be creative. What is disappointng is someone who doesn't take the time to make sure what they do write is correct. Your writing skills are lacking big time! You should learn how to write properly before attempting something like this. It looks like something a seventh grader would submit, minus the content of course!
by
Anonymous11/04/05
Do you speaka da English?? :)
Terrible story. This person is obviously a high schooler or not English. Here's a tip, try having your story proof-read before you post it for thousands to read!
by
Anonymous11/04/05
50/50
like most people here I do agree your writing could be better. you might want to check with some other writers to see who proof reads there stories. back to main topic though. It was a good story, you just need to clean it up a little. reason I gave you 50 is because with a clean up it be a 100
by
Anonymous11/06/05
Kiss ass!
It's a great idea, got me fuckin' hard. To many know-it-alls on here. That's I stopped posted and got published!!!!!!! Not like any of you that can do nothing but tell this person all they did wrong. Learn to help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jerks!
ASS HOLES!!
Good story, read it.
by
Anonymous11/06/05
Idiots
Solid story. I love that some of you have insulted the grammar of the story while using poor grammar. If you're reading the story and noticing all the spelling errors, aren't you missing the whole point? Write on, ignore the grammar police.
by
Anonymous12/10/06
assholes they are
don't listen those assholes who only read stupid lesbians stories they no brain I feel sorry for them because there stupid whores will be one of those sick fucks Incest rules it's alot better then those stupid pussy licking whore stories
by
Anonymous03/04/07
worked for me
I would love a second chapter to this story.
by
Anonymous12/21/08
the worst story
fuck you man, i think i`d better teach you how to write stories. it was awfull. contact me with alipahlavi@hotmail.com
by
Anonymous09/12/11
Kind of enjoyed it...
The concept was good...what I definately didn't enjoy was reading all the negative feedback other people gave you rather than complimenting and encouraging you to get better advice for improvement.
If someone goes to the trouble to write a story for the enjoyment of others, surely you "jerks" could focus on finding a positive outcome rather than heaping on the negatives, huh??
by
Anonymous06/09/15
still a great story after all these years
I love this story of really hot motherfucking. Young Rob knew that he was a true mommy-loving boy like lots and lots of sons are, more and more every day. He "hadn't lacked sexual experience, but it was rare when he didn't fantasize about his mom when he did have sex." Now, that's hilarious. Wouldn't little Cindy and Brittany be shocked to learn that when Rob had his fat young cock up between their legs he was picturing it up his own mother's cunt. When he does get it up the wonderful hairy hole he came out of, Rob has a revelation. "His cock entered her pussy and it felt like it was made to be there." Sure it did, kid. That warm wet hole is your own birth canal, where you entered the world from. Nothing can ever feel as cosy and loving, just so damn good to a boy's cock as his own mother's cunt. And your mom feels the same way you do. You're her pride and joy, her darling baby boy, mom loves your young penis, Rob, and she wants it up inside her, safe and protected and cherished, up where she carried you for nine months. More and more sons are discovering the simple truth all the time--that a boy's penis and his mother's vagina are made for each other.
English
is there more chapters coming
keep the chapters coming it is great
back to school
You need to learn how to spell correctly & how to put verbs in their proper tense. Errors distract one's attention from the story.
Some people should just read, not write!
Does anyone ever proof what they write before they submit it? I applaud you for attempting to be creative. What is disappointng is someone who doesn't take the time to make sure what they do write is correct. Your writing skills are lacking big time! You should learn how to write properly before attempting something like this. It looks like something a seventh grader would submit, minus the content of course!
Do you speaka da English?? :)
Terrible story. This person is obviously a high schooler or not English. Here's a tip, try having your story proof-read before you post it for thousands to read!
50/50
like most people here I do agree your writing could be better. you might want to check with some other writers to see who proof reads there stories. back to main topic though. It was a good story, you just need to clean it up a little. reason I gave you 50 is because with a clean up it be a 100
Kiss ass!
It's a great idea, got me fuckin' hard. To many know-it-alls on here. That's I stopped posted and got published!!!!!!! Not like any of you that can do nothing but tell this person all they did wrong. Learn to help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jerks!
ASS HOLES!!
Good story, read it.
Idiots
Solid story. I love that some of you have insulted the grammar of the story while using poor grammar. If you're reading the story and noticing all the spelling errors, aren't you missing the whole point? Write on, ignore the grammar police.
assholes they are
don't listen those assholes who only read stupid lesbians stories they no brain I feel sorry for them because there stupid whores will be one of those sick fucks Incest rules it's alot better then those stupid pussy licking whore stories
worked for me
I would love a second chapter to this story.
the worst story
fuck you man, i think i`d better teach you how to write stories. it was awfull. contact me with alipahlavi@hotmail.com
Kind of enjoyed it...
The concept was good...what I definately didn't enjoy was reading all the negative feedback other people gave you rather than complimenting and encouraging you to get better advice for improvement.
If someone goes to the trouble to write a story for the enjoyment of others, surely you "jerks" could focus on finding a positive outcome rather than heaping on the negatives, huh??
still a great story after all these years
I love this story of really hot motherfucking. Young Rob knew that he was a true mommy-loving boy like lots and lots of sons are, more and more every day. He "hadn't lacked sexual experience, but it was rare when he didn't fantasize about his mom when he did have sex." Now, that's hilarious. Wouldn't little Cindy and Brittany be shocked to learn that when Rob had his fat young cock up between their legs he was picturing it up his own mother's cunt. When he does get it up the wonderful hairy hole he came out of, Rob has a revelation. "His cock entered her pussy and it felt like it was made to be there." Sure it did, kid. That warm wet hole is your own birth canal, where you entered the world from. Nothing can ever feel as cosy and loving, just so damn good to a boy's cock as his own mother's cunt. And your mom feels the same way you do. You're her pride and joy, her darling baby boy, mom loves your young penis, Rob, and she wants it up inside her, safe and protected and cherished, up where she carried you for nine months. More and more sons are discovering the simple truth all the time--that a boy's penis and his mother's vagina are made for each other.
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