All Comments on 'How to Break All the Cybersex Rules'

by goddessinjapan

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  • 21 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
good info

ty for sharing your thoughts/experiences

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
My Thoughts on the Subject

I totally agree with most of what you said. I've been in a cyber relationship with a guy for 18 months. I'm exclusive; he is not. I'm okay with this because he has been honest. One thing you didn't touch on is that just like with a real relationship, there are bad things. I've talked to this guy so long that I see the bad things about his personality. I refer to them as his ass-holeish qualities. But on the other side we've been talking to each other so long that he knows just what to say to push me over the edge. My point with that is that you've got to be willing to put up with things like that to get the best benifits out of a long term cyber relationship. Which has been soooooooo much better than my cyber one night stands.

smy3thsmy3thover 18 years ago
Many useful perspectives

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I especially agree about honesty. Honesty is a real turn-on. Knowing what is REALLY in someone else's mind is mind blowing, and erotic. In R/L, even in the best of relationships, there are always inhibiting factors. Online, anonymously, you can achieve a degree of honesty and openness you may never experience anywhere else in life.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Learned Stuff Didnt know befor

I loved your Submission I am quite and avid Cybersexer myself at the forum with varying ages i finde myself to be quite the cyber pimp i have female cybers comeing back for more. But from your Submission i have found out stuff i didnt know befor i will not go into detail on what part i did learn about cause i need to feel that area out slowly. Anyway i cant wait to here the rest of your story please write it soon.

PS. I wouldnt minde taling to you over the net if you want to my e-mail is animpsm@yahoo.com

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Interesting Perspective on Consentual Sex

I thought the viewpoint of the article was interesting but too fast. This is an article that should be extended so that each portion has more emphasis, examples and real-to-life ancedotes added in. Doing so might also smooth out the flow of the piece. As a reader I struggled with following the story line from one break/distraction by rulesmore focus should have been placed on each section. Overall I give this piece a B. Smith-Ford

sammies_placesammies_placeover 18 years ago
Interesting Perspective on Consentual Sex

I thought the viewpoint of the article was interesting but too fast. This is an article that should be extended so that each portion has more emphasis, examples and real-to-life ancedotes added in. Doing so might also smooth out the flow of the piece. As a reader I struggled with following the story line from one break/distraction by rulesmore focus should have been placed on each section. Overall I give this piece a B. Smith-Ford

MrBeagleMrBeagleover 18 years ago
Love Cyber when RT isn't enough

Goddess...you hit it right on the head...I am in a similar situation being married but celebate with wife for about 8 yrs due to a medical issue with her...cyber has kept me relatively straight...and given me a chance to explore with all three sexes...keep it up (or help someone else keep it up) Ed

voyeuressevoyeuresseover 18 years ago
thank you thank you!!

oh thank you! this and your how to cybersex have helped me sooooooo much! i would love to see more of this journal! i was even thinking of starting one myself... ive been cyberly active all of four and a half months haha. and i have been floundering. ive met some wonderful guys but when i do i dont know what to do with them. and now that i know a little more about what i want... i havent known how to get it. but your two articles i know will help me! thank you thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Sorry Hon

I am afraid that Cyber Sex IS cheating. My soon-to-be-ex-husband started cybering with his new girlfriend when I was pregnant with our second child. Yes, it hurt me to no end even before they met in person. My heart was wounded and my trust in him was shattered. I understand that he didn't find my pregnant body attractive anymore, but cybering is not the answer to problems in a committed relationship.

You are quite right that cybering does bring about REAL emotion, and when a partner in a relationship develops feelings and desires for another person, the other half of that relationship is feeling rejected and unwanted. If you really love your partner, please, please, please, go to marriage counseling and get help with your "dry spell." Or at the very least, be honest with your partner and tell him/her that you are wanting to break the commitment that you once vowed to him/her. Be honest and open with your partner. Please don't hold yourself back from the person with whom you want to share the rest of your life with! Let that one special person be the sole object of your attention and desire.

And by the way goddess, your husband is REALLY missing out. You seem to be a very sensual person and it is a shame that you are not able to share that with him. I sincerely wish you the best of luck and encourage you two to enter marriage counseling.

drksideofthemoondrksideofthemoonabout 18 years ago
Well Written

I thought it was a well written piece of work with some informative information for cybersex novices.

Brian

drksideofthemoon

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Sigh!

Finally someone who makes me feel normal and not freakish. I have been married to my only lover for 20 years and cybering on my side keeps the spark in our marriage because I need sooooo much more than he can give me sexually. It means I can satisfy my sexual needs within the marriage in a way I do not believe is cheating because my husband is turned on by my virtual affairs. I have even been able to satisfy his fantasy to see me have a bi-sexual fling but being virtual there was no harm done to our rock solid relationship.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Breath of fresh air....

It was enlightening to read this as it completely replicated my own experience. Initially I felt guilty wondering how I, a faithful wife of 23 years, could get so much satisfaction online and transpose that into my marriage. It works for me. My sex drive is far higher than my husband and my virtual sex enables me to live out my fantasys of experiencing what he is not interested in trying. My imagination is limitless online and never have I thought of straying in the 'real world'. I know that the quality of my marital relationship has been enhanced by all the online encounters with those delicious men out there that I am grateful for.

Lady_ShelbyLady_Shelbyabout 17 years ago
I totally understand.

My current lover I met online. Not at an adult site or anything, we were younger then, but we eventually started cybering in IM, and I wound up living with her. ^_^

lordonlyknowslordonlyknowsabout 17 years ago
Disconnect

You lack the real point of view from a man in the world of cybering.

We don't care if you care about our hopes, dreams, aspirations etc..

It's not why we came, and it's not going to make us cum.

We don't care who you are. Your two real requirements are to be attractive and have slutty mannerisms. That's it.

The last thing we wan't is to find a soulmate.

We're in it for the cheap, mindless, selfish indulgence.

Thus explaining the overall dilemma of the cybering world:

women want connection, men want to cum.

We want our cyber filthy, you want it passionate.

We want to skip the foreplay, you want to dwell in it and build a summer home.

It's total disconnect.

End of story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
I'm feeling normal!!!

Nearly 20 years of happy marriage, 38years old, wondered whatwas wrong with me to enjoy cybering sooo much but several comments here summed it up for me. I've always been higher sexed and kinkier than my husband but not interested in cheating in real life. I take good care of my body at the gym and have had other guys flirt and the temptation is out there...but.....cybering allows me to explore my deeepest fantasies in a safe environment and give me the masturbation material that I live off in between sex sessions with my partner. I would love to join a swingers club with him but so far no go..cybering keeps me hot and horny for him when everything else in our relationship is great!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Wouldn't it be nice if.....

..... those of us who live with partners who are not as highly sexed as us could form our own "Literotica f*** club" of sexual release (and I realise that there are other woman out there like me who have higher needs than partner). It wouldn't be cheating but enhancing the relationships we have with people we love but don't have,for many reasons, a satisfactory sexual relationship with. Just a naughty thought...... :-)

281528201male281528201maleabout 16 years ago
Some thoughts on cyber

Ive been surfing the net,looking for some life in the wasteland.So,Ive read your articles,thanx.I was lucky,& cybered with someone at lit rite off,turned out to be a guy wanting to blow me in front of his wife for kink,this past summer.I turned it into a 3 som/ for fun,& creativity.Ive listed myself as dom,looking for subs,etc.Some of the ladies Ive seen in lit s chatrooms have all kinds of guys leaning on them.Seems like a lot o work,to be cybering with some,& makes me a lil uncomfortable.I took a creative writing class in college for a 2nd yr english major,as well as being a para-prof major in mental health soc work for real.I didn t see any links for cyber but here & my last semester was in doing referrals to specialists as mainline tools of the trade.A few yrs ago there was a virtual girlfriend program out for 20 bucks,now that co went outof business.However,there are dvd s out that are interactiveof which I have a few,the boys would like to know of:Playing with GiGi,is a cybersex simulater /dvd by www.anarchyfilmsdvd.com;They put out 25 or so variants.bouncypictures.comhas 20 or so titles like:SmokinBlowjobs#1,My VirtualMaid,My VirtualDancer;MyVirtualStudent.So,virtual Interactive in DVDs is a catagory anyone interested in cybering might wanna checkout at porn dvd websites,incl this one.Ive been divorced 30 yrs,have health issues& cyber seems safer,too,as well as being on SSec Alotment for same these days.The local gendarme seems interested in following me around thru all my surfing activities too,probably as I have some law in the family&did a few yrs in security,as well as institutional work/Im thinking anonomous surfer programs R probably going to be the way to go ,& wasn t mentioned.Nothingbutsoftware.com&softwareoutlet.com have them ,as well as other economical stuff,group.Ive also noticed a lot of interracial stuff that turns me off happening& know the feds are pushing this as well as detective plainclothes,not a hardcore extremist here,I just go elsewhere,preferring to stay out of such trouble,stats say its 4x as much trouble,but johnny law is in such business,&likes others to do his work 4 him.Saw another good site at sexyads.com,for cyberchat,as well as the alt.com&adultfriendfinder.com for ads as leads,Sexsearch.com is suposed tobe #1 for realtime hookups followed by adult friendfinder/ Ive also cybered with some ts/tg/cd s,as a dom,& enjoyed myself,as my dad was something of a gay activist/art teacher type in his later yrs,thought Id check it out.Maybe see:Amazingtails for dvds.Thats a few solid links to help overall/all.Its Been Real,281528201male

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Habbo It

Personally, I like going on to Habbo, UK or US makes no different, you will always find a nice guy/gal there that is willing to take into a room and have a nice convo about sex...I personally like being the one with all the details...it's great!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
very helpful

Thanks for sharing. J

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Impressive

I have been cybering many years now and I believe you are correct with your advice! Great job. Your English is perfect for Japan. was living there for over a year and Im also impressed by that

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
love your voice

as much as your advice, or more

Anonymous
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