by BlueMoonWriter
This story is so common in life. Our families have tremendous power to do us untold harm and often those we love take the brunt of it on their psyche or their person. Well told!
That story was intensely brutal at the beginning and gently loving at the end. It was also very well written. You did a great job of packing a world of emotion in such a short story. Well done.
Been there, done that, you must have beein hiding in my house.......
Your pre-story warning was accurate. Thanks for the warning, by the way, Sometimes I'm up for stories like this and sometimes I'm not. Because of your warning, I stayed with it and the tension in the story was also in my body as I read the intense sex scene -a sign of very good writing. After they calmed down, I did too, and was able to connect with Shannon's sorrow and with Lisa's forgiving acceptance.
The last paragraph totally lost me by vaguely implying some sort of family problems. Of course, I realize that Lisa's knowledge of Shannon and Shannon's family history might easily allow her to understand Shannon's "strange behavior," but after being so dramatically involved in it as a reader, I felt completely out of the loop at the end. I wished you had left that paragraph out of this story.
Having said that, I'm going to go see if there is another chapter to this otherwise enjoyable story. Either a sequel or a prequel might give the reader enough info to understand along with Lisa.
I would've loved to read about the circumstances leading up to this, and how the situation got resolved. Story is unfinished otherwise.
In fact it seemed harsh and violent. Disgusting. And to top it off the story isn't finished. So, no stars.
To me this story falls into that category. Touched every emotion, and still came away with love.🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 5🌟's
I just wish it was longer, and is there going to be a part 2 I would like to know what caused her to become so angry
You are a damn good writer but I wonder why you only write short stories.i mean just when I think am beginning to get in the zone there it is THE END somehow I hate those words.but I love your stories😋😋
...there's no frame of reference here. Sure, for a single sentence you tell us Shannon is normally not explosively angry, bordering on physically abusive, but even her breakdown at the end really changes nothing. She shows a moment of compassion for her partner, then returns to whatever self-centered turmoil she's in. This snapshot of a relationship bears a strong resemblance to how many abusive relationships start, with the physically powerful partner relying on the smaller, but emotionally more composed partner for emotional solace. The compassionate partner doesn't call the other out on their crap and the cycle gets more and more dramatic until real physical and emotional damage is inflicted.
It would be awesome to see something deeper and more substantial to balance the current action and provide more depth to these characters.
One of the few Honda stories about lesbianism on the site. Emotions and actions like that shouldn't come as any shock. By definition lesbianism and homosexuality is all about selfishness. Instead of having a relationship in harmony, two people doing two different parts to create one music, the homosexuals want to play melody only, to have their own way and what they want right now. At the root of it, doesn't matter what you call it, homosexual or gay or lesbian or queer or anything else, it's all about being self-centered and getting what you want the way you want it..