Another great story by you. I admire your honesty. Miriam should dump him.
Boyd
by
Anonymous11/15/05
I like that
keep us guessing!!
by
Anonymous11/15/05
dump him
but then she shoulda dumped him years ago and didn't......
but as for the story, what does HIS reaction to cheating have to do with HER choice? nothing, people are different. some forgive, some don't.
as for the gun, i was wondering if he was gonna shoot steve - or want eat the gun himself?
by
Anonymous11/15/05
Well written, but
it sucked because you didn't finish it. Whats up with author's not finishind stories these days. The main reason why i don't read stories from (just plain bob) is because he always leaves them unfinished.
The situations may be similar, but they are very different, assuming she had been telling the truth.
He chose people neither of them knew and he would never see again. He thought he was keeping it from her and that would spare her any pain.
She chose her sister's husband, someone they would be expected to see regularly. She chose to put her sister in the same position her husband had put her. She chose someone trusted so if he ever found out, the pain would be multiplied by ytwo betrayals, as it was when she told him. She added the blackmail attempt which would pour flames on the fire if he felt protective of her. She did it to punish and intentionally hurt him at a later time of her choosing, potentially for maximum infliction of pain.
This is what it looks like if her story had been true. Her action were intentionally hurtful, his merely grossly selfish and thoughtless. That doesn't give him a pass, but it makes his decision sufficiently different from hers that nothing applicable can be learned from it that applies to her decision.
by
11/15/05
Well, it's somewhat apples and oranges!
She knew of his affair and had all the time in the world to figure out whether to forgive him or not. He had one day to make that decision.
I'd say she had pretty much decided to leave him regardless. Could she realistically expect him to internalize that info so quickly? Yeah, he had a bunch of one night stands. She (as far as he knows) had an ongoing affair with a family member and friend. That implies some sort of emotional intimacy, an attachment with someone he would see at family gatherings. Difficult.
Given that, I don't see it as a double standard. I would expect the same (general) ending as was in the story if their roles were reversed. Yeah, no gun and not wanting to beat the crap out of the brother-in-law (Now THERE is a double standard!).
Bottom line is she would have a pretty good idea of how he would react. What if he had beat her to the brother-in-laws house and he shot Steve? What if he had eaten his gun? Are those possiblities (not certainties but certainly possible) something she was prepared to live with? Of course she could have had the same feelings when he cheated on her, which is one good reason why he should not have cheated. But the past is gone, she made a decision today and has to live with all possible outcomes.
The only way I could see them staying together is if he went to her in her time frame and said, "I forgive you but we have to sever all ties with this area and the family." Even assuming she tells him it was just a test, there would always be that niggling doubt. Think of Aussie Bard's "The Phone Call." He would always wonder.
Nice story, well written. It was definitely thought provoking! A fresh look at the issues.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
I'll complete it!!!
"Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."
"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
"I choose that we divorce," Miriam said.
"Wait," I said. "You had time to think about the situation, but I only had overnight to absorb the shock. And my cheating, though terrible, was with strangers, not someone you knew or were ever likely to meet. I was confronted with having to regularly face the man who I believed cuckolded me. That's why I came over here--to see if I could stand that."
"I don't accept that," said Miriam. "If you loved me, if you wanted to stay with me, you should at least have said that you hoped that we could stay together.
"My decision is irrevokable," she continued, her voice cold and flat. "I even have the divorce papers here." She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. "This is it, the end of our marriage, and there is nothing you can do to stop this divorce now." She held out the envelope to me.
"Actually," I said, tearfully. "There is. I am devastated I hurt you so awfully and that I got us in this terrible mess, but I realized on the drive over here that I can't live without you."
My hand was already in my pocket, wrapped around the butt of the revolver. I pulled it out and put the barrel in my mouth as I thumbed back the hammer...
if I have all this correct. We have a husband who has proven he has no ethics or morals. Over a period of years, he has broken every marriage vow he ever made, cheated on his wife, lied to her, squandered their future security by spending their money on other women, put her health and welfare at risk by having unprotected sex (I did use condoms most of the time), and last but not least, grabs a gun to deal with their problems. WOW, why would any woman ever want to lose a man like this, they don’t come any better. Anyone would have to be three kinds of a fool to purposely do anything that would potentially upset a distraught man with a gun, like telling him you want to get a divorce. Wouldn’t that be like playing Russian roulette?
Great Story! You, "Just Plain Bob" and "HardDaysKnight" are about equal in your ability to spin believable stories that are quite hot.
I think Harry needs to be tied down while Miriam gets a dose of "in his face" revenge sex. Miriam needs to find out how many new partners Harry has had - and them match that number in the form of "rubbing in" how badly he'd screwed up.
It probably won't help Harry and Miriam's marriage any - but damn, _I'LL feel better!
I get feedback besides the comments. I will post them if they apply to the story so you can see more reactions. I will not post any names. Giving the commenters their privacy.
Thanks for commenting DG Hear
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I enjoyed reading your story and the honesty that was put into it. your right there is double standard, doesn't make much sense but it's there. about 10 years ago I read an article done on couples where one of them was caught cheating and the effects it had on their marriage. In the study they found that 7 out of 10 marriages survive when it was the husband who cheated but only 3 out of 10 marriages survived when it was the wife. There was no clear reason why the difference in which spouse did the cheating mattered so much it just was. My husband's first marriage ended because she cheated on him, I have a close friend that I helped (as much as I could) deal with her marriage ending after 20 years for the same reason.
I've learned one thing unless you have gone through it yourself you have no clue how you will deal with it. Regardless of what you believe you know without a doubt what you would do, it doesn't mean crap. The "if it happened to me" verses "it did happened to me" makes a big difference.
Again thanks for another good story, I've read quite a few of your and enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more.
by
11/15/05
Wow DG
What a wonderful way to end a story and get positive feedback. I love it. If it were my story and since I am such a sucker for happily ever after, they would stay together and get marriage counseling and private counseling for his little extra marital activities. If it were my husband, I'd celebrate all the way to divorce court but hey...that's just me. Great job, I really enjoyed it.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
Yes, there is a double standard
At least in how most stories on this site play out.
If the wife cheats, there are a certain number of standard scenarios that authors seem to use. The most common seems to be willing cuckold. Then there is the "reconciliation". Divorce and moving on is a rare theme, as is outright revenge (though there is more of the latter than the former).
Now, if the husband cheats. Most common theme seems to be the wife goes out of her way to get revenge. Note the difference? Majority of "cheating husband" stories involve the wife getting even. Majority of "cheating wife" stories involve cuckoldry or reconciliation. At least, that's what I've observed. Less common for "cheating husband" are cuckold wives or reconciliation - and I don't count "wife gets revenge then they move on" as genuine reconciliation stories.
Double standard? You bet. In that cheating husband stories more often than not feature gits who treat their wives in an awful fashion, who finally face "justice". Cheating wife stories, on the other hand, either feature sluts who married wimps (OK, maybe not wimps, maybe they just have a fetish about voyeurism or masochism) or wives who "just made a mistake" and have husbands more forgiving than Jesus.
Not that I'm being critical, though I'd like to see more balance in the character types presented in these "cheating spouse" stories. Just calling them as I see them.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
He should be made to suffer
Hi, she should devorce him there and then,but deep down she
only wants revenge.She should kick him out,but have him
tailed to his new abode,he should be made to suffer,by having Photos sent by the P.I. to him showing her flings.
Then after a time the Brother in law comes to him and see,s
if he wants his wife back.
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Hi. Loved the story. You know, part of why a double-standard exists is women's own fault. We have been taught almost since birth that men have needs and if we (wives) aren't fulfilling them, they'll seek fulfillment elsewhere. Well, what happens when you (wife) do everything you possibly can to fulfill his needs and he still goes and gets it from someone else? We're taught to forgive and forget. Remain faithful to our vows no matter what! I know my husband would never forgive me IF I ever did have an affair. And he'd probably kill the man, me or both. And yet, my husband is away from home all the time. Long haul. I have no idea what goes on...but I trust. So I just fell into the double-standard set-up. IF he has, do I forgive and forget? Would he? I know for a fact he would not, so why should I? Leaving the ending as you did was amazing, insightful and thought provoking. K.
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Personally, I think women should have enough respect for themselves to not allow themselves to become living doormats. This old idea of "me man, you woman, so shut up and close your eyes to what I'm doing to you" is destructive to the woman's self-esteem.
Your a wicked bugger. I thinking something about a Cat and some Pigeons.
What's the plan get them at each others thoughts?
I assume that sometime in the future you've got an ending lined up. You could pull a fast one and drop alternative endings on them. Hey, didn't someone do a story the other month with several different endings.
Anyway I'm not going to play your little game. I told you I'm a miserable old bugger. (Well not for a while anyway.)
ass. He fucked around on her all those times, many times without protection. And he was ready to threaten and possibly shoot the one guy she was having an "affair" with? Oh yeah, he needs to be slam-dunked into the garbage can.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
You missed the point
You have given a good story with an interesting twist. The point I believe you missed is that the husband was having sex with strangers, not friends or relatives. I do not think the husband wanted to hurt his wife. As stupid as he seems for risking his family I think what she told him she had done is worse than what he had been doing.
Many stories have double standards. You can argue that this is one, but I believe the imaginary hurt he got from her was worse than he had given her. I do NOT condone what he has done, and should be hoisted on his petard, but I don't think the story is a black and white as you have painted it.
This is a question that has been asked innumerable times. I my opinion there are two answers. There is the Literotica answer and the real life answer. In the world of Literotica the majority of the recent stories about cheating are, for the most part, written by men. They usually involve a cheating wife and the husband is almost always the smarter of the two. These stories usually end up with reconciliation. The few recent stories about cheating husbands are usually written by women and the wife is almost always the smarter of the two. Cheating husband stories usually end in divorce. It appears that in Literotica world women authors think a cheating husband should be kicked out while male authors think that a cheating wife should be given another chance and the union saved. These are of course just my observations and certainly not any sort of empirical evidence. I suppose they could be verified if someone wanted to invest the time necessary to skim every such story.
In real life, statistics seem to paint a different picture. Marriages in trouble because of a cheating wife are less likely to survive than marriages that include a cheating husband. The only reasonable conclusion is that there is a very obvious double standard. The implication is that we men can’t handle it when the shoe is on the other foot. Just like our man in this story. On the whole I think this is a fair assessment. Women are at their most vulnerable at that moment when they seek to end a relationship. The majority of the physical injuries that women suffer are at the hands of their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, or lovers. One only has to read the comments made about cheating wives stories to realize how ill equipped most men are to handle a strong woman let alone an unfaithful one.
Is there a double standard? Absolutely. Actually there appears to be two divergent double standards; the one here in Literotica world and the one in the real world.
So, what should our fair maiden do? In my opinion she should dump him. Why should she bother to try to make it work? He is a serial philanderer and when it came to show what he was really made of, he failed the test. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and she should move on. I realize that these are fictional characters but I would give the same advice if they were my neighbors.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
ANTI-EROTIC
THESE STORIES ARE UNEROTIC AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY BE, UNLESS YOU THROW IN SOME DEAD KITTENS TO THE MIX.
Thanks for sharing the ones that were posted privately to you and for respecting the privacy of the commentors.
I suspect that I'm a lot older than most if not all of the commentors. I was born and raised in an age were men were actively taught that it was their responsibility to take care of women. It is interesting to look back and see that this kind of "taking care of" did not extend to fidelity and other forms of emotional support, but rather to the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security.
The really important issues of emotional health encompassing ego, pride in self and accomplishments, pride in offspring and their accomplishments and the deep satisfaction that can only come from an intimate sharing of both hopes and fears and, believe it or not, bodies, was left out of most formal conversations about the "birds and the bees".
Women, in general, simply "filled in the gaps" and have provided their men with that much needed emotional support and men, in general, have come to rely on it, I suspect without realizing it. . . at least until that emotional support is somehow threatened.
In recent years the feminine movement has highlighted a few things.
1. Women want and need an opportunity to experience the feelings, good and bad, that come from building careers that classically provided the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security and most have proven they're damn good at it.
2. Having demonstrated a willingness and ability to share in the mechanics, women are demanding, and deserve, equal support in the provision of emotional health as well.
We men are just very, very slow to adjust! We justified our infidelities and our straying from emotional intimacy because, most of us at least, were taking care of our basic responsibilities and our women needed us to do that.
Not any more!
We have been all too slow to keep up with the social changes that engulf us BUT we are, I believe, in process!
Some of us have adjusted faster than others. We realize that women are equal but different. (Vive le difference!)
In the meantime the double standard around the resolution of emotional issues that has always existed has just become more obvious and it's men who are having the hardest time adjusting just now!
Keep in mind;
Life will go on! The sun will come up tomorrow, just like it did today. What ever pain and hurt you feel will fade in time. (Someone should write a story about all these classic lines!)
Men, again, in general, have never been good at handling emotional pain and now we'll have to learn . . . and we can . . . and we will. . . It's just going to take us a while!
I agree with his observations of how the Literotica site seems to work. That the majority seems to work that way. Thats why I personally prefer stories where if reconcilation is going to happen its after the husband gets some self respect first.
But I disagree with saw_man1 thoughts on how society works with double standard. To me in saying that, means that everyone feels that way. I disagree because I can only speak for myself and others can only speak for themselves. Everyone can only answer how they would react in a given situation, and every situation seems to have different variables too them. I know that I've often refused to be around folks that I knew would or is doing something like this to others. I even remember one guy I'd known for years who cheated on his girlfriend. I refused to hang out with him anymore, and told him until he told her what he had done, I wanted nothing to do with him. Imagine my surprise when a few months later he wanted a shoulder to cry on when his girlfriend cheated on him, and he wanted someone to tell how unfair it was. Darn. I couldn't even "Fake" sympathy. Maybe I'm just jaded, because of having been on the wrong side of that in my life before. But I can honestly say I'm the last person to have double standards (^_^)
Having said that, I think its a good story, but to me the story seemed to be leading to the fact that the wife should cut bait and run. I think the fact that the husband was doing it for years, saying that he loved his wife but would not stop doing it, says to me that he wasn't really sorry. Just sorry he got caught. And to top it off that he felt that he needed to get revenge on the man his wife was with, and felt he was wronged and thats all he could think of when faced with what she told them, never once thinking about how much he hurt her until slapped in the face with it, reminds me of the guy I mentioned above. But thats my opinion of course, based on my own personal experiences =)
But either way its a good story. It makes you think what what I do? But at least I already know what I would do (^_^)
I loved the story. I don't live by a double standard. If I cheat on my wife I expect she will dump me. And, you all know if she cheats on me she is history. That is all just me and each person is entitled to think as they will.
She will dump him. He was not willing to forgive even though he had cheated for years. I don't think that she actually forgave him either, just avoided the issue. Truthfully, some of it she could have avoided by bringing up the issue the first time she found out he did it... does not exonerate him at all for continued cheating, but it didn't stop him either.
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Based upon what the wife had to say and the test she gave him, their marriage is over. Like it or not, she set up the test situation and why would she bother unless she was prepared to follow through.
Note she could have told him the truth and made tracks when she discovered the gun was gone. Walk in, tell them she's done a bad thing - told hubby about a non-existent affair and trust that Steve is fast enough on the uptake to pick up his cues.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
Tragedy in The Making
Sir
This one of your better essays.
If you want a suggestion, try having him pull the gun out of his pocket and put to his head. he says, "sorry about the mess," and starts to pull the trigger. Steve grabs the pistol and blocks the hammer coming down. Miriam yells at him, "you are going to leave us in hell!" he says, "I can't treat you right and I can't live without you." "I will never be truly decent toward you." "Even now I'm scared that my marriage is over and I will be poor, but I'm terrified that I will never have another hardon and pussy to go into." "Damnit let me finish." "I'll go outside and splatter the grass."
Miriam say, "You can go finish yourself or you can work with me on this marriage, your choice."
This should be a suitably just ending. Hell yeah, he is a hycocrite, but then most of are just live at peace with our neighbors and friends. Anyway as you stated in the story he could not figure out how to live with divided assets. PS the reason that there is a LOVING WIVES category is that we actually care if the wife strays, that is much more important to us than whether the husband accidently rapes some other person. Its not that we don't think its wrong for men to cheat; its that men just aren't as important to us. We care about women, but don't give adamn about men.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
The Title Says It All
I think you spelled out the situation very well.
As far as these characters go, Harry should start packing and looking for one-room apartments to rent.
It is the gun & the possible murder that is disturbing. Harry starts out as a sympathetic character but that changes. That, incidentally, is a strength of the story.
The story appears contrived but it is more a morality tale than a realistic depiction of human beings. Good work.
If this is America 2005 the likeliest outcome is Harry killing himself AFTER he kills his wife, and possibly Steve as well.
Suicide only = 30%
Murder wife, then suicide = 60%
Murder wife and Steve, then suicide = 10%
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good as allways.but why did she get three days to answer and he get one.
why was she worred about steve when he took the gun and not him.
by
Anonymous11/15/05
a more distrurbing read than meets the eye
hi dg hear,
the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?
if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.
example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.
the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.
the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).
the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.
Several comments point this out. The two situations, the husbands casual one night stands which began some time after he began traveling were not "affairs" as understood. An affair is a planned love affair with someone taken as a lover. A one night stand is merely scratching an itch.
The scratch is not to be condoned, but it is never meant to surplant the married partner back at the corral. On the other hand, the affair DOES and is MEANT to take the place of the married partner. As written the husband did not have "a woman in every port." Is that forgiveable? It would depend on the one who was cheated. I'm not sure my wife would accept it (she adamantly insists she never would). But taking a long term lover is to place another partner on a par with the married partner.
Thus, while neither the husband and the wife did the right thing, the extent and kind of their betrayals (revenge in the wife's case) are of two different kinds.
Judging by my own feelings reading the story, I doubt the marriage could be saved. The wife has set a deadline, 24 hours, for the husband to weigh and judge her actions against his. An impossible time limit. In the only time he was given to decide all he could see were visions of his wife rutting with his best friend.
When he took the pistol my own emotion was despair. He loved her, she had done the one thing she instinctively knew he couldn't forgive, particularly and it was a double betrayal.
I was surprised he ended up at the brother in laws house, I expected him to stop off someplace remote, where it would be weeks or even years before he was found, and eat that gun.
As to the discussion you wanted, the story was too unbalanced to give it. If he had discovered she had taken to picking up random men on some occasions when he was gone, I could see and understand them realizing they sure as hell weren't communicating with one another very well.
The fact that the wife's tale was a lie was a nice twist, but had no bearing on how the story would come out.
This is a pointless exercise really. You have already put everything squarely on Hubby's sagging shoulders. Miriam is a saint and good ol' Steve a paragon. What is there to decide. She can take him to the cleaners and still retain her righteous indignation. Meantime Harry can work harder than ever to pay his obligations and still screw around until the next wronged husband kills him! No worries!
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hi dg hear,
the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?
if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.
example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.
the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.
the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).
the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.
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Well, guess he has his medicine now and get to know how his wife felt! If he is really repentant, i will help him to appeal to his wife .... (heehee) One impt factor - if they still love each other and the man really repents, I see no reason why can't they go on with their marriage ..It is very obvious that the wife loved him very much by closing her eyes all this while ... It would be his loss if he did not know how to treasure the last chance. Where there is love, marriage shall exists.
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Great story DG Hear. It's an interest and clerverly written short story. And the story as a wonderful ending. As you indicate - It's a Wonderful Life (a la Frank Capra).
"...try to reconcile and save our marriage BUT..."
...your emotions and my emotions are too strong and volatile right now. We need time to cool down, calm down and think about what we want. I think you should move out for a while. While we're apart, I think we should not date or have casual sex. This will give you time to think through how you want to live for the rest of your life - do you want a monogamous relationship with me or maybe you'd rather be free to pursue other women."
I leaned back in my chair and sighed, thinking that Mariam did have a logical point. I was confused - on the one hand, I was furious with her for lying to me and setting up her rather hateful 'test,' however, I could see that I had caused her so much pain that I couldn't blame her for wanting to hurt me back.
I thought for a minute and then responded, "If I agree to this, how long would you plan for us to be apart? One month? One year? Three years? Would we be able to see each other? I don't see how we can work on our marriage and get past this if we're not able to talk with each other."
Mariam looked serious for a minute and said, "I'm not sure how long. I was thinking in terms of a year; I'd like to see if you can keep your dick in your pants that long and really stop screwing around. I think you're right that we would need to see each other - maybe start with lunch once a week and occasional phone calls and see how things go. To be honest, I'm not sure that I can forgive you, but I'm hoping that we love each other enough that we can kind of start over. If you want to see a marriage counselor during this time, we could do that, although I'm skeptical about how effective that would be."
I replied, "Do you have any idea how difficult it would be for me to be alone for a year? Being alone on the road was what got me into trouble in the first place - sure, it was part horniness, but I think it was more being lonely and wanting companionship."
Miriam nodded, "Yes, I know. It is going to be difficult for me too, but I don't want to divorce you right now unless that is what you really want. I just don't see another alternative - I really believe that we both need time to think. And if you can't go for a year without screwing around, that tells you something about your priorities and about what you really want from your life, doesn't it?"
I replied, "I guess this would be the real test, wouldn't it."
Miriam sadly smiled, "yeah."
by
Anonymous11/16/05
Where do YOU want to take this?
Don't get caught up trying to satisfy everyone. Just keep it logically consistent. And satisfy yourself. Harrry is portrayed as a man who is in love with Miriam despite his inability to keep his dick in his pants. Miriam first describes her alleged affair, then denies it when things get out of hand. What is Miriam looking for?
Here's an ending that no one will like ;-)
Miriam announces that she's leaving Harry and moving in with Steve & Barb.
Harry goes to pieces and the rest stand around wondering what to do.
Harry appears to snap out of his stupor, then grabs his gun & shoots to cripple Steve & Miriam.
Harry demands that Barb tell him the truth as she knows it.
Barb admits that Harry's infidelity was just an excuse for Steve who lusted after Miriam, that the affair occurred and lasted far longer than Miriam admitted, and that Barb was the one who eventually forced an end to Miriam's and Steve's affair.
Steve claims that he would have never strayed if he hadn't caught Miriam and Barb together in bed(!) Barb had apparently consoled Miriam long before Steve became involved.
Harry shoots to cripple Barb, then calls 911. When the SWAT team arrives, Harry empties his gun into Steve's groin, forgetting to leave a bullet for himself. Harry turns the empty gun on the SWAT team but they shoot to disable.
Harry is found unfit to stand trial and lives out the rest of his life in a padded call, Steve is confined to a nursing home due to his permanent injuries. Miriam moves in with Barb but they struggle from day to day.
by
Anonymous11/16/05
Thats sucks! You're the writer write the ending
write it the way you want it to end. Don't care what others think, a writer has the obligation to finish the tale. So finish it for God sakes. Be a writer and a man!
Fabulous DG, such skill!
I agree with the sentiments expressed the likes of Troubador and Cageytee and others, very likely a doomed marriage for actions on both their parts.
But not quite a double standard either for reason of your well described variation in the gravity of their daliances - his with one-night-stand type events although numerous, hers opportunistic initially then developing into a premeditated affair of length, in terms of time and personal attachment. Situations both of quite polarised in-equality.
in the event when Miriam is confronted by an affair's husband, then it's likely that the wife is a regular player with other men too, that husbands beef is not only with Harry, but potentially many others. Miriam's long term suffering in silence is a little un-likely, particularly if she confided in her sister and Steve. The cat would get out of the bag. She won't take any comfort from realising Harry has no emotional attachment to his affairs. Simply it was wrong, and doubtful she could move past it in the scenario you portrayed. I liked the anonymous comment where he tricked her into revealing she did get it on with Steve after all, a twist on a twist that one!
You've done one thing to excellence, and that is to bring into focus in our minds that so called Double Standard, along with the Consequences. Men will see Harry's situation as forgivable (if not excusable) in Miriams' eyes, for the absence of that emotional connection "it was just sex". Men will also concur that Harry couldn't get past Miraim having an emotional connection affair of duration (or any other cheating for the most of us), which places him in that cuckolded and humiliated position.
In reality, I doubt that women are at all as forgiving or accomodating of affairs, cheating, or even 'mistakes' men make such as in-appropriate comment, reading literotica, porn, or perving or groping in relation to other women of their partners contact, as these sites might portray. Even though some women do suffer in silence for some time, it would be a vastly minority situation for them to endure it at length. The studies show that women operate on a more emotional level than men, is that true? Your story asks us to believe that is the case, because if Miriam wanted revenge for herself in a private sense she could go out and have a (or many if likes) one-night-stand also. But as you so expertly pointed out, the type of affair for her to have to extract the most reaction, and hurt him the most, was the type you described, one of lengthy time with someone known to Harry.
Even though all that is played out, imho the ending could likely be;
" I choose to stay with you, Harry, and try and rebuild our trust and love for each other. It may not be possible, the way I'm feeling right now, you miserable son of a bitch, but I'm willing to try if you can too"
So there DG, is where your next story starts...
by
Anonymous11/16/05
More than one Double Standard here
There was more than one double standard here. When faced with this latest failure on the husbands part, the wife said, " I need to think about it, I'll talk to you in the morning". (paraphrased) The husband when faced with the shock of his wifes supposed wandering, is expected to immediately declare his love AND forgiveness! Bullshit! Granted he further crapped in his pants the next morning by not dealing directly with her and doing whatever was necessary to heal the breach, but to expect someone that more than likely was in shock, to suddenly come to terms with the situation was in a nutshell just plain idiotic.
So in this story, we have a double,double standard. LOL.
I already commented on my opinion that the situations were sufficiently dissimilar that it was not a double standard but two completely different situations that had surface similarities.
Some commenters have discussed real life where, and I accept it as likely, only 30% survive when the wife cheats but 70% when it's the husband. I don't think this is the result of a double standard at all. I think that in the majority of the instances of the men cheating, if he could correctly articulate his reason, it would be he was thinking with his dick, he was stupid and selfish and, while it would clearly hurt her if she found out, he didn't expect her to and after it was over he felt no differently toward his wife than he did before the incident. The majority of the women would report that their affair, and it likely would not be a one-off, was not an oops event as it is often depicted here, but the result of some kind of emotional involvement with the other man. After the affair, as well as during, shes would feel very differently about her husband than before, as opposed to here where she almost always still loves him and it was just sex. When women get involved in real life, it is rarely just sex. If you removed gender from those scenarios and reported that when there was no emotional involvement, 70% of the marriages survived, but where there was emotional involvement only 30% survived, nobody would be surprised and the thought of a double standard would never enter anyone's mind. That men and women get involved in meaningfully different ways is more likely the reason for the disparity of result, rather than that women are held to a different standard in the same situation.
As someone mentioned, when she found out that her husband had his gun with him, why was she more worried about steve than her own husband. Why was she worried that her husband was going to kill steve, but never even worried that he might kill himself. Now that brings up two interesting questions. How do we know for sure that she wasn't fucking steve. How do we know that she wasn't lying when she told her husband that it was all a lie, when she tells him that she never cheated on him but just made it up to make him feel the way she felt. She knows that he has the gun and probably has every intention of killing steve, so she lie's to him about the "affair". For all we know, all three of them are in on it. Someone wrote this comment, and i have to say that i like his ending, but with a small change."Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."
"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion. I like this ending with a little change, and that would be that he kills all three of them.
I was thinking of writing alternate endings but after reading the comments from the readers my thoughts fail in comparison to some of your ending. Thank you all for your thoughts and responses, it was fun to read what the readers thought. I hope you enjoyed it also. For those of you who arn't writers you might want to try submitting a story. Some of your endings had quite an imagination. I won't be posting any more of the feedbacks on this story. There were plenty of ending to choose from.
Thank you all for responding
Sincerely
DG Hear
She says I think we should go our seperate ways. He Loves her so much but is now thing of the lost of trust he has in her. If it could have been just a fling I could have gotten over it and forgiven her as she has me. But he also wonders why she never said any thing until now and why she wa there protecting Steve... He slowly walks to the door pulls the gun and puts it to his head. Steve grabs his arm and he is shot in the chest as he lays dying he tell Mariam " I forgive you and will always love you" Illoking at her one last time as sTeve now holds her close Harry dies... She now has to live with this for the rest of her life... wa this lie ... or affair worth his death
English
Great
Another great story by you. I admire your honesty. Miriam should dump him.
Boyd
I like that
keep us guessing!!
dump him
but then she shoulda dumped him years ago and didn't......
but as for the story, what does HIS reaction to cheating have to do with HER choice? nothing, people are different. some forgive, some don't.
as for the gun, i was wondering if he was gonna shoot steve - or want eat the gun himself?
Well written, but
it sucked because you didn't finish it. Whats up with author's not finishind stories these days. The main reason why i don't read stories from (just plain bob) is because he always leaves them unfinished.
that b/s
your story you finish it.
I'm a man
And I say dumphim. Nowadays, screwing around can kill the innocent party.
not really a double standard
The situations may be similar, but they are very different, assuming she had been telling the truth.
He chose people neither of them knew and he would never see again. He thought he was keeping it from her and that would spare her any pain.
She chose her sister's husband, someone they would be expected to see regularly. She chose to put her sister in the same position her husband had put her. She chose someone trusted so if he ever found out, the pain would be multiplied by ytwo betrayals, as it was when she told him. She added the blackmail attempt which would pour flames on the fire if he felt protective of her. She did it to punish and intentionally hurt him at a later time of her choosing, potentially for maximum infliction of pain.
This is what it looks like if her story had been true. Her action were intentionally hurtful, his merely grossly selfish and thoughtless. That doesn't give him a pass, but it makes his decision sufficiently different from hers that nothing applicable can be learned from it that applies to her decision.
Well, it's somewhat apples and oranges!
She knew of his affair and had all the time in the world to figure out whether to forgive him or not. He had one day to make that decision.
I'd say she had pretty much decided to leave him regardless. Could she realistically expect him to internalize that info so quickly? Yeah, he had a bunch of one night stands. She (as far as he knows) had an ongoing affair with a family member and friend. That implies some sort of emotional intimacy, an attachment with someone he would see at family gatherings. Difficult.
Given that, I don't see it as a double standard. I would expect the same (general) ending as was in the story if their roles were reversed. Yeah, no gun and not wanting to beat the crap out of the brother-in-law (Now THERE is a double standard!).
Bottom line is she would have a pretty good idea of how he would react. What if he had beat her to the brother-in-laws house and he shot Steve? What if he had eaten his gun? Are those possiblities (not certainties but certainly possible) something she was prepared to live with? Of course she could have had the same feelings when he cheated on her, which is one good reason why he should not have cheated. But the past is gone, she made a decision today and has to live with all possible outcomes.
The only way I could see them staying together is if he went to her in her time frame and said, "I forgive you but we have to sever all ties with this area and the family." Even assuming she tells him it was just a test, there would always be that niggling doubt. Think of Aussie Bard's "The Phone Call." He would always wonder.
Nice story, well written. It was definitely thought provoking! A fresh look at the issues.
I'll complete it!!!
"Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."
"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion.
"I choose that we divorce," Miriam said.
"Wait," I said. "You had time to think about the situation, but I only had overnight to absorb the shock. And my cheating, though terrible, was with strangers, not someone you knew or were ever likely to meet. I was confronted with having to regularly face the man who I believed cuckolded me. That's why I came over here--to see if I could stand that."
"I don't accept that," said Miriam. "If you loved me, if you wanted to stay with me, you should at least have said that you hoped that we could stay together.
"My decision is irrevokable," she continued, her voice cold and flat. "I even have the divorce papers here." She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. "This is it, the end of our marriage, and there is nothing you can do to stop this divorce now." She held out the envelope to me.
"Actually," I said, tearfully. "There is. I am devastated I hurt you so awfully and that I got us in this terrible mess, but I realized on the drive over here that I can't live without you."
My hand was already in my pocket, wrapped around the butt of the revolver. I pulled it out and put the barrel in my mouth as I thumbed back the hammer...
Out of the marriage.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Let me see
if I have all this correct. We have a husband who has proven he has no ethics or morals. Over a period of years, he has broken every marriage vow he ever made, cheated on his wife, lied to her, squandered their future security by spending their money on other women, put her health and welfare at risk by having unprotected sex (I did use condoms most of the time), and last but not least, grabs a gun to deal with their problems. WOW, why would any woman ever want to lose a man like this, they don’t come any better. Anyone would have to be three kinds of a fool to purposely do anything that would potentially upset a distraught man with a gun, like telling him you want to get a divorce. Wouldn’t that be like playing Russian roulette?
Paybacks are a BITCH....
And he deserved it.
Great Story! You, "Just Plain Bob" and "HardDaysKnight" are about equal in your ability to spin believable stories that are quite hot.
I think Harry needs to be tied down while Miriam gets a dose of "in his face" revenge sex. Miriam needs to find out how many new partners Harry has had - and them match that number in the form of "rubbing in" how badly he'd screwed up.
It probably won't help Harry and Miriam's marriage any - but damn, _I'LL feel better!
The answers prove that.............
There is at least a double standard--actually even more than two.
Of course a lot depends on whether the male is only a male or whether he is a man.
Your male character was only a male who has the mistaken idea tha having an appendege makes him a man.
Note From DG Hear:
I get feedback besides the comments. I will post them if they apply to the story so you can see more reactions. I will not post any names. Giving the commenters their privacy.
Thanks for commenting DG Hear
This message contains feedback for: DG Hear
About the submission: A Double Standard
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous
Comments:
I enjoyed reading your story and the honesty that was put into it. your right there is double standard, doesn't make much sense but it's there. about 10 years ago I read an article done on couples where one of them was caught cheating and the effects it had on their marriage. In the study they found that 7 out of 10 marriages survive when it was the husband who cheated but only 3 out of 10 marriages survived when it was the wife. There was no clear reason why the difference in which spouse did the cheating mattered so much it just was. My husband's first marriage ended because she cheated on him, I have a close friend that I helped (as much as I could) deal with her marriage ending after 20 years for the same reason.
I've learned one thing unless you have gone through it yourself you have no clue how you will deal with it. Regardless of what you believe you know without a doubt what you would do, it doesn't mean crap. The "if it happened to me" verses "it did happened to me" makes a big difference.
Again thanks for another good story, I've read quite a few of your and enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more.
Wow DG
What a wonderful way to end a story and get positive feedback. I love it. If it were my story and since I am such a sucker for happily ever after, they would stay together and get marriage counseling and private counseling for his little extra marital activities. If it were my husband, I'd celebrate all the way to divorce court but hey...that's just me. Great job, I really enjoyed it.
Yes, there is a double standard
At least in how most stories on this site play out.
If the wife cheats, there are a certain number of standard scenarios that authors seem to use. The most common seems to be willing cuckold. Then there is the "reconciliation". Divorce and moving on is a rare theme, as is outright revenge (though there is more of the latter than the former).
Now, if the husband cheats. Most common theme seems to be the wife goes out of her way to get revenge. Note the difference? Majority of "cheating husband" stories involve the wife getting even. Majority of "cheating wife" stories involve cuckoldry or reconciliation. At least, that's what I've observed. Less common for "cheating husband" are cuckold wives or reconciliation - and I don't count "wife gets revenge then they move on" as genuine reconciliation stories.
Double standard? You bet. In that cheating husband stories more often than not feature gits who treat their wives in an awful fashion, who finally face "justice". Cheating wife stories, on the other hand, either feature sluts who married wimps (OK, maybe not wimps, maybe they just have a fetish about voyeurism or masochism) or wives who "just made a mistake" and have husbands more forgiving than Jesus.
Not that I'm being critical, though I'd like to see more balance in the character types presented in these "cheating spouse" stories. Just calling them as I see them.
He should be made to suffer
Hi, she should devorce him there and then,but deep down she
only wants revenge.She should kick him out,but have him
tailed to his new abode,he should be made to suffer,by having Photos sent by the P.I. to him showing her flings.
Then after a time the Brother in law comes to him and see,s
if he wants his wife back.
feedback comment
This message contains feedback for: DG Hear
About the submission: A Double Standard
This feedback was sent Comments:
Hi. Loved the story. You know, part of why a double-standard exists is women's own fault. We have been taught almost since birth that men have needs and if we (wives) aren't fulfilling them, they'll seek fulfillment elsewhere. Well, what happens when you (wife) do everything you possibly can to fulfill his needs and he still goes and gets it from someone else? We're taught to forgive and forget. Remain faithful to our vows no matter what! I know my husband would never forgive me IF I ever did have an affair. And he'd probably kill the man, me or both. And yet, my husband is away from home all the time. Long haul. I have no idea what goes on...but I trust. So I just fell into the double-standard set-up. IF he has, do I forgive and forget? Would he? I know for a fact he would not, so why should I? Leaving the ending as you did was amazing, insightful and thought provoking. K.
feedback For DG
This message contains feedback for: DG Hear
About the submission: A Double Standard
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous
Comments:
Personally, I think women should have enough respect for themselves to not allow themselves to become living doormats. This old idea of "me man, you woman, so shut up and close your eyes to what I'm doing to you" is destructive to the woman's self-esteem.
another comment, feedback
DG
Your a wicked bugger. I thinking something about a Cat and some Pigeons.
What's the plan get them at each others thoughts?
I assume that sometime in the future you've got an ending lined up. You could pull a fast one and drop alternative endings on them. Hey, didn't someone do a story the other month with several different endings.
Anyway I'm not going to play your little game. I told you I'm a miserable old bugger. (Well not for a while anyway.)
Come on what you got for us next?
PS loved the story.
Oh, she should definitely divorce his cheating
ass. He fucked around on her all those times, many times without protection. And he was ready to threaten and possibly shoot the one guy she was having an "affair" with? Oh yeah, he needs to be slam-dunked into the garbage can.
You missed the point
You have given a good story with an interesting twist. The point I believe you missed is that the husband was having sex with strangers, not friends or relatives. I do not think the husband wanted to hurt his wife. As stupid as he seems for risking his family I think what she told him she had done is worse than what he had been doing.
Many stories have double standards. You can argue that this is one, but I believe the imaginary hurt he got from her was worse than he had given her. I do NOT condone what he has done, and should be hoisted on his petard, but I don't think the story is a black and white as you have painted it.
Good question
This is a question that has been asked innumerable times. I my opinion there are two answers. There is the Literotica answer and the real life answer. In the world of Literotica the majority of the recent stories about cheating are, for the most part, written by men. They usually involve a cheating wife and the husband is almost always the smarter of the two. These stories usually end up with reconciliation. The few recent stories about cheating husbands are usually written by women and the wife is almost always the smarter of the two. Cheating husband stories usually end in divorce. It appears that in Literotica world women authors think a cheating husband should be kicked out while male authors think that a cheating wife should be given another chance and the union saved. These are of course just my observations and certainly not any sort of empirical evidence. I suppose they could be verified if someone wanted to invest the time necessary to skim every such story.
In real life, statistics seem to paint a different picture. Marriages in trouble because of a cheating wife are less likely to survive than marriages that include a cheating husband. The only reasonable conclusion is that there is a very obvious double standard. The implication is that we men can’t handle it when the shoe is on the other foot. Just like our man in this story. On the whole I think this is a fair assessment. Women are at their most vulnerable at that moment when they seek to end a relationship. The majority of the physical injuries that women suffer are at the hands of their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, or lovers. One only has to read the comments made about cheating wives stories to realize how ill equipped most men are to handle a strong woman let alone an unfaithful one.
Is there a double standard? Absolutely. Actually there appears to be two divergent double standards; the one here in Literotica world and the one in the real world.
So, what should our fair maiden do? In my opinion she should dump him. Why should she bother to try to make it work? He is a serial philanderer and when it came to show what he was really made of, he failed the test. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and she should move on. I realize that these are fictional characters but I would give the same advice if they were my neighbors.
ANTI-EROTIC
THESE STORIES ARE UNEROTIC AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY BE, UNLESS YOU THROW IN SOME DEAD KITTENS TO THE MIX.
That story was fun!
But these comments are even more fun!
Thanks for sharing the ones that were posted privately to you and for respecting the privacy of the commentors.
I suspect that I'm a lot older than most if not all of the commentors. I was born and raised in an age were men were actively taught that it was their responsibility to take care of women. It is interesting to look back and see that this kind of "taking care of" did not extend to fidelity and other forms of emotional support, but rather to the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security.
The really important issues of emotional health encompassing ego, pride in self and accomplishments, pride in offspring and their accomplishments and the deep satisfaction that can only come from an intimate sharing of both hopes and fears and, believe it or not, bodies, was left out of most formal conversations about the "birds and the bees".
Women, in general, simply "filled in the gaps" and have provided their men with that much needed emotional support and men, in general, have come to rely on it, I suspect without realizing it. . . at least until that emotional support is somehow threatened.
In recent years the feminine movement has highlighted a few things.
1. Women want and need an opportunity to experience the feelings, good and bad, that come from building careers that classically provided the mechanics of food, shelter, clothing and security and most have proven they're damn good at it.
2. Having demonstrated a willingness and ability to share in the mechanics, women are demanding, and deserve, equal support in the provision of emotional health as well.
We men are just very, very slow to adjust! We justified our infidelities and our straying from emotional intimacy because, most of us at least, were taking care of our basic responsibilities and our women needed us to do that.
Not any more!
We have been all too slow to keep up with the social changes that engulf us BUT we are, I believe, in process!
Some of us have adjusted faster than others. We realize that women are equal but different. (Vive le difference!)
In the meantime the double standard around the resolution of emotional issues that has always existed has just become more obvious and it's men who are having the hardest time adjusting just now!
Keep in mind;
Life will go on! The sun will come up tomorrow, just like it did today. What ever pain and hurt you feel will fade in time. (Someone should write a story about all these classic lines!)
Men, again, in general, have never been good at handling emotional pain and now we'll have to learn . . . and we can . . . and we will. . . It's just going to take us a while!
The beholder
First, lets forget the wife made up the revenge affair mainly because the husband didn't know that it was made up.
Right or wrong, the husband didn't have x-sex to hurt the wife. The wife DID have x-sex(see first sentence) to hurt the husband.
The husband was too stupid and incensitive to realize the hurt he would cause his wife when he was found out.
The wife knew full well of the pain that her x-sex(see first sentence) would cause the husband.
The inlaws suck because they never attempted to talk the wife out of the revenge thing.
I don't see any good guys and bad guys here, only incensitive,stupid,and vengefull people. the marriage should have been over two years ago.
I guess the double standard thing is in the eye of the beholder.
Another Good story
I agree and disagree with saw_man1.
I agree with his observations of how the Literotica site seems to work. That the majority seems to work that way. Thats why I personally prefer stories where if reconcilation is going to happen its after the husband gets some self respect first.
But I disagree with saw_man1 thoughts on how society works with double standard. To me in saying that, means that everyone feels that way. I disagree because I can only speak for myself and others can only speak for themselves. Everyone can only answer how they would react in a given situation, and every situation seems to have different variables too them. I know that I've often refused to be around folks that I knew would or is doing something like this to others. I even remember one guy I'd known for years who cheated on his girlfriend. I refused to hang out with him anymore, and told him until he told her what he had done, I wanted nothing to do with him. Imagine my surprise when a few months later he wanted a shoulder to cry on when his girlfriend cheated on him, and he wanted someone to tell how unfair it was. Darn. I couldn't even "Fake" sympathy. Maybe I'm just jaded, because of having been on the wrong side of that in my life before. But I can honestly say I'm the last person to have double standards (^_^)
Having said that, I think its a good story, but to me the story seemed to be leading to the fact that the wife should cut bait and run. I think the fact that the husband was doing it for years, saying that he loved his wife but would not stop doing it, says to me that he wasn't really sorry. Just sorry he got caught. And to top it off that he felt that he needed to get revenge on the man his wife was with, and felt he was wronged and thats all he could think of when faced with what she told them, never once thinking about how much he hurt her until slapped in the face with it, reminds me of the guy I mentioned above. But thats my opinion of course, based on my own personal experiences =)
But either way its a good story. It makes you think what what I do? But at least I already know what I would do (^_^)
Great Read DG
I loved the story. I don't live by a double standard. If I cheat on my wife I expect she will dump me. And, you all know if she cheats on me she is history. That is all just me and each person is entitled to think as they will.
She will dump him. He was not willing to forgive even though he had cheated for years. I don't think that she actually forgave him either, just avoided the issue. Truthfully, some of it she could have avoided by bringing up the issue the first time she found out he did it... does not exonerate him at all for continued cheating, but it didn't stop him either.
Keep your good stories coming, we love them.
Charleybear
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Based upon what the wife had to say and the test she gave him, their marriage is over. Like it or not, she set up the test situation and why would she bother unless she was prepared to follow through.
Note she could have told him the truth and made tracks when she discovered the gun was gone. Walk in, tell them she's done a bad thing - told hubby about a non-existent affair and trust that Steve is fast enough on the uptake to pick up his cues.
Tragedy in The Making
Sir
This one of your better essays.
If you want a suggestion, try having him pull the gun out of his pocket and put to his head. he says, "sorry about the mess," and starts to pull the trigger. Steve grabs the pistol and blocks the hammer coming down. Miriam yells at him, "you are going to leave us in hell!" he says, "I can't treat you right and I can't live without you." "I will never be truly decent toward you." "Even now I'm scared that my marriage is over and I will be poor, but I'm terrified that I will never have another hardon and pussy to go into." "Damnit let me finish." "I'll go outside and splatter the grass."
Miriam say, "You can go finish yourself or you can work with me on this marriage, your choice."
This should be a suitably just ending. Hell yeah, he is a hycocrite, but then most of are just live at peace with our neighbors and friends. Anyway as you stated in the story he could not figure out how to live with divided assets. PS the reason that there is a LOVING WIVES category is that we actually care if the wife strays, that is much more important to us than whether the husband accidently rapes some other person. Its not that we don't think its wrong for men to cheat; its that men just aren't as important to us. We care about women, but don't give adamn about men.
The Title Says It All
I think you spelled out the situation very well.
As far as these characters go, Harry should start packing and looking for one-room apartments to rent.
It is the gun & the possible murder that is disturbing. Harry starts out as a sympathetic character but that changes. That, incidentally, is a strength of the story.
The story appears contrived but it is more a morality tale than a realistic depiction of human beings. Good work.
playingcardcompany
Likeliest outcome is triple murder
If this is America 2005 the likeliest outcome is Harry killing himself AFTER he kills his wife, and possibly Steve as well.
Suicide only = 30%
Murder wife, then suicide = 60%
Murder wife and Steve, then suicide = 10%
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good as allways.but why did she get three days to answer and he get one.
why was she worred about steve when he took the gun and not him.
a more distrurbing read than meets the eye
hi dg hear,
the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?
if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.
example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.
the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.
the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).
the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.
The title of the story is misleading
Several comments point this out. The two situations, the husbands casual one night stands which began some time after he began traveling were not "affairs" as understood. An affair is a planned love affair with someone taken as a lover. A one night stand is merely scratching an itch.
The scratch is not to be condoned, but it is never meant to surplant the married partner back at the corral. On the other hand, the affair DOES and is MEANT to take the place of the married partner. As written the husband did not have "a woman in every port." Is that forgiveable? It would depend on the one who was cheated. I'm not sure my wife would accept it (she adamantly insists she never would). But taking a long term lover is to place another partner on a par with the married partner.
Thus, while neither the husband and the wife did the right thing, the extent and kind of their betrayals (revenge in the wife's case) are of two different kinds.
Judging by my own feelings reading the story, I doubt the marriage could be saved. The wife has set a deadline, 24 hours, for the husband to weigh and judge her actions against his. An impossible time limit. In the only time he was given to decide all he could see were visions of his wife rutting with his best friend.
When he took the pistol my own emotion was despair. He loved her, she had done the one thing she instinctively knew he couldn't forgive, particularly and it was a double betrayal.
I was surprised he ended up at the brother in laws house, I expected him to stop off someplace remote, where it would be weeks or even years before he was found, and eat that gun.
As to the discussion you wanted, the story was too unbalanced to give it. If he had discovered she had taken to picking up random men on some occasions when he was gone, I could see and understand them realizing they sure as hell weren't communicating with one another very well.
The fact that the wife's tale was a lie was a nice twist, but had no bearing on how the story would come out.
But do the story again, using balanced evils.
Doug
Nice setup, but...
This is a pointless exercise really. You have already put everything squarely on Hubby's sagging shoulders. Miriam is a saint and good ol' Steve a paragon. What is there to decide. She can take him to the cleaners and still retain her righteous indignation. Meantime Harry can work harder than ever to pay his obligations and still screw around until the next wronged husband kills him! No worries!
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hi dg hear,
the thing i find interesting about this story is that in the morning, the husband is going to feel differently. reading the story, especially about the part where the husband says (after getting the gun): "i didn't know what i was going to do" left me intrigued. what would he do?
if you would like a stopping point, why choose the point where the husband is begging to come back--why not end it prior to this point with him a whirl wind of emotions? by having him beg for forgiveness, you have really closed down a number of interesting avenues.
example: you mention that the brother in law tried to blackmail his wife--which would explain why he never came around anymore. maybe there was attempted coercion--to what extent? its not clear. it doesn't take much to spin this as a revenge fantasy--but not quite in the way one imagined. after all, the gun may be to kill the brother-in-law, but it might also be for use in self-defense, if the brother-in-law decided to try and interfere with the news he was going to tell her sister about the alleged affair.
the point of suicide was raised in an earlier comment in the thread, and that actually makes more sense given the moves you made about begging for forgiveness.
the husband screwed up, but the revenge of the wife is neither innocent nor harmless. she put people in jeopardy. she says she has sex in their house, with a close friend, on more than one occasion. they have both lied to each other. they are both infidelities, but they differ in degree of intensity (given the differing geographic and personal closeness to the persons concerned).
the final thing--the fact that she wasn't prepared to confront him at an earlier point, or that steve couldn't either, says volumes for where their relationships are at. when you add on top of that the fact that she lied to him, with the active help of her sister and his brother-in-law, it would take a pretty impressive individual to be able to square that level of humiliation with staying with his wife. and this is another difference--this is no longer about personal humiliation alone--of the husband to the wife. for the wife's actions towards the husband--its now public and shared amongst others whose opinions matter to the husband.
Feedback I lost a reader!
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I would not read another of your stories with the dumb ending you had in this one.
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Well, guess he has his medicine now and get to know how his wife felt! If he is really repentant, i will help him to appeal to his wife .... (heehee) One impt factor - if they still love each other and the man really repents, I see no reason why can't they go on with their marriage ..It is very obvious that the wife loved him very much by closing her eyes all this while ... It would be his loss if he did not know how to treasure the last chance. Where there is love, marriage shall exists.
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Great story DG Hear. It's an interest and clerverly written short story. And the story as a wonderful ending. As you indicate - It's a Wonderful Life (a la Frank Capra).
"...try to reconcile and save our marriage BUT..."
...your emotions and my emotions are too strong and volatile right now. We need time to cool down, calm down and think about what we want. I think you should move out for a while. While we're apart, I think we should not date or have casual sex. This will give you time to think through how you want to live for the rest of your life - do you want a monogamous relationship with me or maybe you'd rather be free to pursue other women."
I leaned back in my chair and sighed, thinking that Mariam did have a logical point. I was confused - on the one hand, I was furious with her for lying to me and setting up her rather hateful 'test,' however, I could see that I had caused her so much pain that I couldn't blame her for wanting to hurt me back.
I thought for a minute and then responded, "If I agree to this, how long would you plan for us to be apart? One month? One year? Three years? Would we be able to see each other? I don't see how we can work on our marriage and get past this if we're not able to talk with each other."
Mariam looked serious for a minute and said, "I'm not sure how long. I was thinking in terms of a year; I'd like to see if you can keep your dick in your pants that long and really stop screwing around. I think you're right that we would need to see each other - maybe start with lunch once a week and occasional phone calls and see how things go. To be honest, I'm not sure that I can forgive you, but I'm hoping that we love each other enough that we can kind of start over. If you want to see a marriage counselor during this time, we could do that, although I'm skeptical about how effective that would be."
I replied, "Do you have any idea how difficult it would be for me to be alone for a year? Being alone on the road was what got me into trouble in the first place - sure, it was part horniness, but I think it was more being lonely and wanting companionship."
Miriam nodded, "Yes, I know. It is going to be difficult for me too, but I don't want to divorce you right now unless that is what you really want. I just don't see another alternative - I really believe that we both need time to think. And if you can't go for a year without screwing around, that tells you something about your priorities and about what you really want from your life, doesn't it?"
I replied, "I guess this would be the real test, wouldn't it."
Miriam sadly smiled, "yeah."
Where do YOU want to take this?
Don't get caught up trying to satisfy everyone. Just keep it logically consistent. And satisfy yourself. Harrry is portrayed as a man who is in love with Miriam despite his inability to keep his dick in his pants. Miriam first describes her alleged affair, then denies it when things get out of hand. What is Miriam looking for?
Here's an ending that no one will like ;-)
Miriam announces that she's leaving Harry and moving in with Steve & Barb.
Harry goes to pieces and the rest stand around wondering what to do.
Harry appears to snap out of his stupor, then grabs his gun & shoots to cripple Steve & Miriam.
Harry demands that Barb tell him the truth as she knows it.
Barb admits that Harry's infidelity was just an excuse for Steve who lusted after Miriam, that the affair occurred and lasted far longer than Miriam admitted, and that Barb was the one who eventually forced an end to Miriam's and Steve's affair.
Steve claims that he would have never strayed if he hadn't caught Miriam and Barb together in bed(!) Barb had apparently consoled Miriam long before Steve became involved.
Harry shoots to cripple Barb, then calls 911. When the SWAT team arrives, Harry empties his gun into Steve's groin, forgetting to leave a bullet for himself. Harry turns the empty gun on the SWAT team but they shoot to disable.
Harry is found unfit to stand trial and lives out the rest of his life in a padded call, Steve is confined to a nursing home due to his permanent injuries. Miriam moves in with Barb but they struggle from day to day.
Thats sucks! You're the writer write the ending
write it the way you want it to end. Don't care what others think, a writer has the obligation to finish the tale. So finish it for God sakes. Be a writer and a man!
What Double Standard?
Fabulous DG, such skill!
I agree with the sentiments expressed the likes of Troubador and Cageytee and others, very likely a doomed marriage for actions on both their parts.
But not quite a double standard either for reason of your well described variation in the gravity of their daliances - his with one-night-stand type events although numerous, hers opportunistic initially then developing into a premeditated affair of length, in terms of time and personal attachment. Situations both of quite polarised in-equality.
in the event when Miriam is confronted by an affair's husband, then it's likely that the wife is a regular player with other men too, that husbands beef is not only with Harry, but potentially many others. Miriam's long term suffering in silence is a little un-likely, particularly if she confided in her sister and Steve. The cat would get out of the bag. She won't take any comfort from realising Harry has no emotional attachment to his affairs. Simply it was wrong, and doubtful she could move past it in the scenario you portrayed. I liked the anonymous comment where he tricked her into revealing she did get it on with Steve after all, a twist on a twist that one!
You've done one thing to excellence, and that is to bring into focus in our minds that so called Double Standard, along with the Consequences. Men will see Harry's situation as forgivable (if not excusable) in Miriams' eyes, for the absence of that emotional connection "it was just sex". Men will also concur that Harry couldn't get past Miraim having an emotional connection affair of duration (or any other cheating for the most of us), which places him in that cuckolded and humiliated position.
In reality, I doubt that women are at all as forgiving or accomodating of affairs, cheating, or even 'mistakes' men make such as in-appropriate comment, reading literotica, porn, or perving or groping in relation to other women of their partners contact, as these sites might portray. Even though some women do suffer in silence for some time, it would be a vastly minority situation for them to endure it at length. The studies show that women operate on a more emotional level than men, is that true? Your story asks us to believe that is the case, because if Miriam wanted revenge for herself in a private sense she could go out and have a (or many if likes) one-night-stand also. But as you so expertly pointed out, the type of affair for her to have to extract the most reaction, and hurt him the most, was the type you described, one of lengthy time with someone known to Harry.
Even though all that is played out, imho the ending could likely be;
" I choose to stay with you, Harry, and try and rebuild our trust and love for each other. It may not be possible, the way I'm feeling right now, you miserable son of a bitch, but I'm willing to try if you can too"
So there DG, is where your next story starts...
More than one Double Standard here
There was more than one double standard here. When faced with this latest failure on the husbands part, the wife said, " I need to think about it, I'll talk to you in the morning". (paraphrased) The husband when faced with the shock of his wifes supposed wandering, is expected to immediately declare his love AND forgiveness! Bullshit! Granted he further crapped in his pants the next morning by not dealing directly with her and doing whatever was necessary to heal the breach, but to expect someone that more than likely was in shock, to suddenly come to terms with the situation was in a nutshell just plain idiotic.
So in this story, we have a double,double standard. LOL.
Tim C.
two non-double standards
I already commented on my opinion that the situations were sufficiently dissimilar that it was not a double standard but two completely different situations that had surface similarities.
Some commenters have discussed real life where, and I accept it as likely, only 30% survive when the wife cheats but 70% when it's the husband. I don't think this is the result of a double standard at all. I think that in the majority of the instances of the men cheating, if he could correctly articulate his reason, it would be he was thinking with his dick, he was stupid and selfish and, while it would clearly hurt her if she found out, he didn't expect her to and after it was over he felt no differently toward his wife than he did before the incident. The majority of the women would report that their affair, and it likely would not be a one-off, was not an oops event as it is often depicted here, but the result of some kind of emotional involvement with the other man. After the affair, as well as during, shes would feel very differently about her husband than before, as opposed to here where she almost always still loves him and it was just sex. When women get involved in real life, it is rarely just sex. If you removed gender from those scenarios and reported that when there was no emotional involvement, 70% of the marriages survived, but where there was emotional involvement only 30% survived, nobody would be surprised and the thought of a double standard would never enter anyone's mind. That men and women get involved in meaningfully different ways is more likely the reason for the disparity of result, rather than that women are held to a different standard in the same situation.
OK story
As someone mentioned, when she found out that her husband had his gun with him, why was she more worried about steve than her own husband. Why was she worried that her husband was going to kill steve, but never even worried that he might kill himself. Now that brings up two interesting questions. How do we know for sure that she wasn't fucking steve. How do we know that she wasn't lying when she told her husband that it was all a lie, when she tells him that she never cheated on him but just made it up to make him feel the way she felt. She knows that he has the gun and probably has every intention of killing steve, so she lie's to him about the "affair". For all we know, all three of them are in on it. Someone wrote this comment, and i have to say that i like his ending, but with a small change."Miriam looked at me and said, "Harry, yesterday you had the choice to save our marriage and was unable to come to a decision. Well, Harry, I'm making the decision for us both now. I choose that we . . . ."
"stay together and try to heal our marriage...starting now. However, I will no longer tolerate your cheating and your indecisiveness. But I shall stay here with Barb and Steve until cooler heads prevail and I'll see you at home later in the week. I looked at Miriam with a reflective glance and recalled all the many years we had together and said, "you know me too well Miriam, otherwise you would not have been here.... you know that I never meant to hurt you... that they were all faceless affairs with strangers that were always kept at a distance and never involved any love from my heart... and yes, I agree there is a double standard....but you put a face to your affair...or shall we say to your lie... in all our years together, you have never lied...but this lie almost jeopardize Steve's life because of his supposed blackmail... It put me through hell last night and this morning...your lie broke all my trust I ever had in you....and in Steve and in Barb...no, I believe our marriage is dead...I know my friendship with Steve and Barb is dead...so rather than both of us trying to save a dead marriage....let us part amicably...perhaps you should have had your affair with Steve". Miriam's anger now flared realizing her marriage was all but over, "how do you know we didn't". "I thought so", and point blank quickly aimed my gun at Steve's forehead and shot him dead. " I figgered so, you have never lied to me before...why would you lie now"...and I left the shocked sisters scrambling to assist Steve. I went home quietly t to wait for the police, nursing a final drink and remembering to make sure I called my boss about turning down that promotion. I like this ending with a little change, and that would be that he kills all three of them.
Note from DG Hear:
I was thinking of writing alternate endings but after reading the comments from the readers my thoughts fail in comparison to some of your ending. Thank you all for your thoughts and responses, it was fun to read what the readers thought. I hope you enjoyed it also. For those of you who arn't writers you might want to try submitting a story. Some of your endings had quite an imagination. I won't be posting any more of the feedbacks on this story. There were plenty of ending to choose from.
Thank you all for responding
Sincerely
DG Hear
well done
Well done I like it.
She says I think we should go our seperate ways. He Loves her so much but is now thing of the lost of trust he has in her. If it could have been just a fling I could have gotten over it and forgiven her as she has me. But he also wonders why she never said any thing until now and why she wa there protecting Steve... He slowly walks to the door pulls the gun and puts it to his head. Steve grabs his arm and he is shot in the chest as he lays dying he tell Mariam " I forgive you and will always love you" Illoking at her one last time as sTeve now holds her close Harry dies... She now has to live with this for the rest of her life... wa this lie ... or affair worth his death
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