I liked the story but you really should've added more detail into the actual sex part and you should have made it longer too. Reading erotica is considered a form of foreplay and should get readers to turned on at least and hopefully to get off on it. This story would be much better and I hope that with your future published stories thy you will extend them past the length of a single page. You're a great writer :)
by
Anonymous12/26/13
Great short story!
I would have liked to read more about the act of fucking each other as she lost her hymen and he filled her with his cock but for what is here is very well written Keep up the good work!
English
Good but...
I liked the story but you really should've added more detail into the actual sex part and you should have made it longer too. Reading erotica is considered a form of foreplay and should get readers to turned on at least and hopefully to get off on it. This story would be much better and I hope that with your future published stories thy you will extend them past the length of a single page. You're a great writer :)
Great short story!
I would have liked to read more about the act of fucking each other as she lost her hymen and he filled her with his cock but for what is here is very well written Keep up the good work!
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