All Comments on 'Killer Fantasy'

A little better written, but a little extreme on her part. He doesn't even call her on it. What did she expect him to do?

All actions have consequences.

I liked this one - a bit different. At least it is a believeble plot line and well enough written.

Surprising there are only 2 comments.

I thought it had a nice little twist. I'd still like to know just what he was doing to forget and miss days---drinking?

Enjoyed the story!

I guess they deserve each other.

By the way, I do not enjoy reading stories about morons regardless how well written it is.

.......today-----This one convinces me that I won't bother to read the other 9.

saved up?

If he was that upset, he damned sure wouldn't be so easy to forgive her and her friends for putting him thru hell for nothing but her unfounded suspicion. To damned easy for her, too forced an ending.

I think that there's a kernel of a good story here, but this was much too brief and too rushed. I would encourage the author to pick this up and expand upon the theme. Flesh out the characters and develop the plot line a bit more fully. Anyway, thanks for an interesting read.

I liked this story. The first part was done very nicely.

The lapse in time could have been filled in so we knew what he did all that time.

She thought he cheated so she set up this scheme to make him jealous? Far better to confront him with the cheating because as we saw, one never knows what will happen. She is lucky he didn't just die somewhere. It sounded like that was a very real possibility.

Finally, his instant forgiveness of her "dirty trick" was a bit unbelievable. I could see that over time he might just come around because she didn't cheat, but this was a bit too quick.

Thanks for a better read.

Charleybear

Very good story. Maybe more time on his part to talk to George and his wife about her explanation before all is forgiven. I’m not any kind of a writer so no critique from me on anything about the story structure or anything else. I liked reading your story. Keep writing.

Stop spendin energy by writting this type of story. Please preserve the energy so that you can fuck your mother better.

This is my take on this: Something is awry in this story. The sex scene was good. The set up talking about fantasies was good. The twist at the end didn't seem believable. There was a 180 degree turn of direction in the story & I'm very skeptical about it. Gloria and Cindy seemed like Lucy & Ethel in an adult matter, but there is no comedy. It just seemed like a hare-brained scheme that I don't think a woman would try in real life. (if there is a woman out there reading this---post an opposing viewpoint if you think I'm wrong). Now fiction doesn't have to be true to real life but there should be some logical consistency in the fictional world. The Gloria-George affair was convincing. Just like the husband I believed it. I don't think that the denial of it is believable. Just not enough logic or evidence in the story to negate the supposed affair.

playingcardcompany

Finally a good story without all the unbelievable junk! Thanks for writing and keep up the good work.

How many of these shitty stories do you have?

what else is there to say

If I were married to anyone with that vicious a sense of humor, I would head for the divorce court so fast her head would spin.On the way to the lawyers I might stop and kick her friend Linda's ass around the block. No way a husband could ever stay married to a woman either that stupid or that vicious. the Ct. Yankee

cheating spouse can be more devastating than the actual death of that spouse. I could no more forgive her than if she had faked her own death. If she were willing to hurt him that severely over an unsubstantiated belief that he had cheated, I have to question her love. I personally would never trust her again with my mental health and stability or my love. There is still the possibility that Gloria, Cindy, and George are lying, and that Gloria and George did have an affair. Going back to the phone call on the night in question, Jack called Cindy, Cindy didn’t initiate the call. If there were a conspiracy, why didn’t Cindy call Jack to make him start wondering and doubting? Since Cindy answered the phone call, we don’t know where George was for sure. We still don’t know where Gloria was at the time either. If it were a conspiracy, it was a dangerous one, calling out George’s name and asking him to fuck her. Suppose Jack in a state of depression and jealousy had taken a gun to the bank next morning and shot George, it happens. What we do know is that Jack went off the deep end, now his wife, friend, and friend’s wife are trying to pull him back from the edge. Would they all lie to accomplish this, it would be a worthwhile and justifiable cause.

seems the spouse did as much damage by what she did as opposed to actually cheating. at least it would seem that way if you had not wimped the guy out so much in the end.

not your best,

don

what a CUBT

.. she hears a rumor with out even 1 piece of evidence and does this to him... and never bothers to confront her own husband?

He needs to start divorce procedding NOW

what a CUBT

.. she hears a rumor with out even 1 piece of evidence and does this to him... and never bothers to confront her own husband?

He needs to start divorce procedding NOW

reams and reams of pure worthless bullshit writing, nothing but cunts and wimps

why so many commentators give Harry in Va such a hard time.Did he even read the friggin story? She didn't hear a rumor dummy, she misinterpreted what he said! This could have been a good one if some time were taken, maybe to slowly develop how her misinterpretation grew on her. But I understand, right now I barely have the time or energy to read and comment so who am I to criticize.Pistolpackinpete

I liked this one. I don't understand what all the whinning was about from the other readers. Get a life...it was just a story.

The number of calls were not really resolved, but so it goes. She went over the top. That kind of love can be a detriment. A thank you but no thank you is appropriate, and he walks away from her. Something went terribly wrong and not a good thing to be around for a second occurence.

deserve each other, match made in heaven (or hell)

well there are some stories that are like a 5 course meal. You relish the meal and the taste stays with you long after you have read them and you look forward to an encore. then there are those that are like munching peanuts. Ok to pass the time for that moment but then its a pointless snack . cant have too much and does not satisfy you. His stories definately fall in the peanut catagory

This whole story hinges on their conversation about fantasies. At the end she says "You said you had fantasies about her and made love to her in real life." He never says anything close to that. He says he thinks about TALKING to his fantasy girl about sex. She asks "In real life?" and he responds "Why not?". Then he clarifies that he has NOT spoken to ANYONE else about sex except her. <br><br>

Where does she get cheating out of this conversation? He doesn't even admit he is thinking about a real woman and clearly hasn't spoken to anyone except her. If the author intended to build his story on this conversation he needed to make it a lot stronger. She is also pretty vindictive on NO evidence even if it was faked on her part. When the husbands are in her position they hire PIs, install cameras, or follow their wives around looking for proof. The wives just believe the rumors or silly hints and then take over the top action. DUH! <br><br>

Then she "claims" she made the whole thing up. Why would he just believe her? She set the scenario up very well. He was convinced enough to pack up an leave his life. Then she says, "nope" and that's believable? Sorry. PROVE to me that you didn't have a affair! As a reader I'm willing to take her (and the author) at her word but I can't imagine any husbands in this situation that would.

She made a pretty good case that her fantasy was doing other men, doing other men with him sometime watching. Then she faked doing that very thing with George. Faking talking in her sleep and asking George to fuck her? Hell, I was convinced myself! Don't know that I would believe her personally.

Overall, you do write a good, creative story, but when trust is destroyed in 99% of relationships, it takes more than a semi-plausible story from the "cheater" to restore that trust. Your hero actually wants to restore that trust, because he loves her, which is understandable, but to instantly give it back...that was the "killer fantasy" here. I have to agree with your critics on that point. I'd like to at least have some physical evidence to back up her story, or at least he needs to talk to George--and whoever he was with at the sports bar.

On your side, when she talks with him about his "fantasy girl," and she decides that he's cheating; I have known people that are so jealous and insecure that they hear just what they want to hear, and jump to their own conclusions. Maybe a little foreshadowing in that direction would have made that part of the plot work better.

Please, keep writing, but give your hero a bit of skepticism when he's handed a story like that.

that was different...bill

100

The way to work it out is to destroy him ?????

You wanted to wake him up so try to kill him????

She is lucky he is a forgiving ass -

Great write - thanks

Started great then took a hard left into "what the hellville?"......

Going by the description of what he saw in the mirror the shock of what she made him believe she did aged him about twenty years.

I doubt that I would be so quick to forgive someone after they took twenty years off my lifespan.

Water and lotion???? She's lying through her teeth. She was screwing someone. He's a fool to believe her. And why the hell is he in the hospital and restrained? Why is his wife going to be there shortly? Isn't she a couple thousand miles away? And why would they call his wife? How would they know who she is? Too many unanswered questions in this mess.

Anonymous knows what happened in the back story better than the author

Lotion almost always has a strong smell to it from the fragrances that the manufacturers put in it.

Cum has a smell that any man who has masturbated or had a wet dream would recognized (IOW all men).

What's that smell?

Smells like BS to me.

OK, really?

The reconcile really has to be written in a real life believable way.

The was no evidence to support it in the story.

A real life guy would not believe that self serving tale for a minute. Not without a ton of proof.

And making him think you cheated to save a relationship? really?

I don't care what the "reason" given is, any woman who pulls that shit on me gets a ticket down the road

The only people who pull that kind of shit off are the ones doing the deed.

A bit different from the usual LW story, but a very interesting read. Enjoyed it.

...any woman that would try that shit simply cannot be trusted.

Did not see that ending coming. Enjoyed it very much

10/10!!!! Happy endings don't suck!

What is it with these stories, not sure writer has ability to write loving stories, again lacks body, little about persons, flatline on what is written, emotions again being used improperly, oh and many bits taken from truly well written stories and thrown together to make a hash of a new one. I usually suggest try again, but I think maybe find a new writing venue your stories suck on loving wives

Underrated. I liked it.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate comprehensively. (Damn fantasies)