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Makes sense, subtext and honesty
Yeah and, to me at least, a lot sounds like how I think as well (and I'd like to think that I am an average male).
Though analyzing subtext is not my favorite task, it is vague and difficult to know when to stop plus my dislike of mistakes leads to the very attractive "decision paralysis".
Ex:
A) Soup
B) Salad
C) do nothing while trying to make a decision
Damn sexy.
Thankfully I've found a mindset that usually works:
D) It doesn't fucking matter, just pick something
Simple
This is really good, straight to the point.
Really an eye opener, I've been doing a lot of these things right but also a few things very wrong.
Thanks
Thanks. This wwill help me the next time im in a relationship struggle.
Ignores history quite a bit
Good piece, but ignores historic context, which is important for the "why" of things.
Women don't do this stuff because they're women. Being born with a vagina doesn't automatically make you behave in that insecure, apologetic, slightly paranoid way (being born with a vagina doesn't even automatically make you a woman). Women do that stuff because it's been pounded into their very beings and has been for centuries; historically women used to be completely dependent on men, and that led to them seeking other ways than open discussion to get what they needed. That, and economical dependencies led to their romantic relationships being abusive more often than not (it's so normalised, just look at how many inherently abusive things are still romanticised in today's media!). Women needed to be hyper-vigilant and always attuned to the moods of their men, otherwise the consequences could be dire. "I don't care about you" could become an existential threat.
In many countries of the world, the US among them, sadly, this is still prevalent. Being a housewife is still the norm, and means having next to no economical power in the relationship, any money you get for yourself can be withdrawn on a whim.
Men don't need to worry about these things. They haven't learned them in their childhoods taking cues from their mothers. They don't *need* to analyse and overthink everything. They don't need to worry about their girlfriend/wife not caring about them, because it's pretty much a woman's job to care about her man, right?
Wrong. And that's why they are completely flabbergasted when we dump their sorry asses for behaving like entitled little shits. We react to those little things because "I don't care about you." is the norm for us, because most men have somehow still not clued in on the fact that women are people too.
TLDR: Men who actually see their girlfriend as a person won't fuck up like that because it won't even occur to them to do that. I don't think you overreacted at all. I mean, what kind of person goes to play a game of whatever it was when their partner is at home alone, sick???
addendom
Too many men forget, if you something she liked during the courtship keep it up! And spend sometime thinking of variations. Ie: if texting "I was thinking about you" then the next time send her a wink ;) . Or tell her you dreamt of her last night ( note: this must be accompanied by a dream story. Even if it's made up, at least you took the time to think about it!)
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