All Comments on 'My Nemesis'

by Grey Eagle 286

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  • 34 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
yeah

you write them just like i like them...don't fuck with me .... and me being former military and a ranger also ...i totally respect how you write as i would do the same thing... don't fuck with me or i'll kick your ass ...keep it up

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
BRAVO

GOOD WRITING! I hope that there is a sequel in the near future!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Very Good, but...

...he seems too happy to accept his wife back when she chose to believe the jerk's story instead of her husband's version. I wanted her to recognize the lack of support and respect she showed her husband. Thanks for the story. I enjoy the stories that you are posting (impressive quantity and content!).

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Better

but I didn't understand the part where she says "I don't know why you didn't trust me".

Then she goes out and spends time to see whether he was guilty of the rape! Who doesn't trust whom here?

She showed a total lack of understanding of what she had done with his archrival, refused to listen to him when he said he was serious, I mean, give me a break!

gizzmo301gizzmo301over 18 years ago
Good

One of your better stories. I enjoied this one

PArebelPArebelover 18 years ago
Have to agree with Dynamite Jack

I enjoyed the story, BUT....

She claims he doesn't trust her but, as DJ points out, she is the one who has to verify what he is telling her. He has seen how far she can be trusted. She has acted in a manner completely contrary to his request.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Still Lacking

Let’s examine what happens.

Betty gets upset because she feels that Chester doesn’t trust her, which is understandable.

So she;

Breaks her promise not to have anything to do with Gordon.

Dances with Gordon knowing that this would really hurt Chester (see how they met).

Accuses Chester of lying to her and by doing so implicitly accuses him of having committed rape! (Talk about not trusting someone, she takes the word of a man who her husband has told her hates him and tries to hurt him every chance he gets including breaking up his first engagement, over her husbands.)

This seems very unlikely, why didn’t she even consider the possibility of it being Gordon who lied? Or, if she had, but was simply mad about how he hauled her out of the club, why didn’t she say so when Chester asked her to leave? Betty had to know that her marriage was seriously at risk.

Betty’s behavior was extremely destructive to their marriage and her apology was to my mind diminished by her description of verifying that Chester was innocent. (Honey I love you, I trust you, I married you but I still couldn’t be sure you weren’t a rapist without investigating.) Frankly, even if she did want to investigate, why did she need to talk with Marta? The information she reports having gotten from the newspaper should have been more than sufficient to verify that her husband was telling the truth!

Finally, I believe that Chester forgave her too quickly and easily. Her actions had to have been extremely painful and her lack of trust indicates a serious problem in their marriage. (While the same thing might be said of his lack of trust, the history he described should have made it understandable.) Reconciliation is possible but was rushed in this story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
talk about a wimp

It would have been easier to take her back this quickly if she had fucked the bastard, told him and everyone else how much better he was than her husband, how great it was to be with a real man than what she did.

She accepted as truth from his oldest rival, that her husband, whom she obviosly didn't trust a scintilla, was a liar and rapist. Finally, to save herself, she didn't give a shit about him but she wanted him to fulfill herself so she hoped she could prove him innocent in her mind, she searches for evidence of the remote possibility her husband was honest. And after her research restores some small part of the trust she apparently never had, he is completely satisfied with her behavior. If this was to be credible, you needed to paint him as a blithering idiot.

Average-JoeAverage-Joeabout 17 years ago
This is pretty silly

I dont know why you make the guys in your stories so wishy-washy. Im not even going to say forgiving because what they usually do isnt forgive. They vacillate and never keep their word. Its always, 'If you dont stop doing this then Im going to leave'. The wife never stops and the husband never leaves. Its just goofy. Why do they even say they wont put up with any more when we all (reader, wife, husband, author) know that they will? There isnt even any reconciliation usually. The wife just says she loves him and he pretends nothing happened. It could be cheating, wanting to swing, going on dates with other guys, thinking husband is a rapist, ignoring husband when he says he hates someone and would be hurt if you even innocently flirted, etc. Whatever the wife does, the husband says he doesnt like it but he just ends up sputtering and looking like a fool because he never follows through. No wonder the wives keep fucking over the husbands - how the hell can they respect a man who's spine is as limp as a wet noodle?

incestor007incestor007almost 14 years ago
Wimpy

From what i read i think wife was tempted to cheat if not intentionally then unintentionally. She was right she wont cheat but she was looking greener grass outside marriage. Just think why it was ok to let someone kiss her. And why she think it was someone's duty to tell her that her husband was rapist, and the one who was being hated by her husband. For a moment just assume, he was. So does it make it right for her to dance with a man her husband hates.

You tried very hard to show he was not a WIMP, and proved that truth is not something to be proved, so yes he was a WIMP, because takes action.

Agreed he played a good trick by telling her that her husband was a rapist. Can you please explain full conversation between Betty and Gordon because it will be very interesting to know how it went on. If my wife said those words to me the very first thing i will ask will be "WORD to WORD" conversation between them. WHY? because she was told not to talk with him or be near him. He cant tell anything to her if she did not talk. it cant be like that--

Goradon : may i have dance with you?

Betty : No, my husband says you will steal me away from him like her fiancee.

Gordaon : he was a rapist, thats why her fiancee left him.

Betty : Ok lets dance, and teach that damn rapist a lesson.

---

So how their talk started. If it started why it went to about Martha leaving him, why it went to dancing with him, Why it went to refusing to go with husband when he was asking her. See ? lot of non-stated statements you submitted it very quickly, it could have been longer, more interesting, and better, you just need to work a little more. I liked the ending, but do not see any purpose of story what it tells, these type of story should explain what led them or her to at this point. I wont say good story, but very creative. very new idea, liked it but if you had used it in better way would be a very good story if not excellent. But now someone will probably use your idea to create better story and will have all credits so see? you just give away an excellent idea. Next time you have any idea do not rush.

RonRWoodRonRWoodover 12 years ago
Okay

I have to agree with the commenters about the wife. She was willing to be with his enemy after he had told her why he forbid her to be with Gordon. She wasn't so loving after all. She was very self-centered in your story. Still a good story on his reactions towards his rival. He appeared to be a wimp by taking her back after her actions in disrespecting him.

Storm113Storm113over 10 years ago
confusing

she believes a stranger over her husband but she is mad because he does not trust her. thi8s story line does not fit. confusing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
She

Didn't trust him at all,it's virtually blaming the victim you have written.

I don't know if that is what you intended.

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 9 years ago
OK - I did not see a wimp at all -

A nice guy who tried real hard not to get carried away - who had lost in the previous encounters - before being a Marine .

But no wimp and no tolerance for the disrespect - he loved her but would take even that little abuse or shit from her. She was a fool for giving any credence to his story but that kind of stupid happens.

She took the time to KNOW what the truth was and the tried to take steps to deal with the asshat - and then return - contrite to her husband -

She made a very poor judgement call but worked to repair and is less likely to do it again -

It works for me -

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Nicely written fairy tale.

But I don't think he took her back. I think her divorced her because her couldn't ever trust her. Yours was the fairy tale ending. Mine was the reality ending.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Trust ?

She didn't trust him rather in a huge huge way.

After he told her all those things she took Gordons side in the little things.

And then she took his word that her man was a rapist.

Because he was a nice guy and her man was chopped liver I guess.

tazz317tazz317almost 9 years ago
A CON MAN ALWAYS KNOWS

what to say, how to say and when to say. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Usually like your stories - not this one.

She disrespects him several times. And not just a little - a LOT! When she walks out, she shows him just how little she respects or loves him. No way to take her back. He'd never be able to trust her or a word she said. She's STILL not convinced he's innocent until she does a ton of research into all the incidents. What a bitch. Okay story with a horrible ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Horrid.

Poorly written drivel.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Should Of Let Her Stay At Her Parents

She had No Trust in her husband..divorce should of been his ONLY option.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Should of?

Kicked her out, divorced her, left her at her parents place, what?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
He Should Of Kicked Her Ass Out

Should of divorced her...it will come back to bite him in the ass later in their marriage. NO TRUST ON HER PART!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Are All Your Men Wimps?

Why are all the husbands in your stories so eager to let their wives shit on them. His wife scalded hubby for his lack of trust in her as she danced with his nemesis. But when he was taking dance lessons just for her, she immediately assumed that he was cheating on her. No trust on her part. When Gordon took the opportunity to fill her mind with lies about her husband, she immediately questioned her husband. A severe lack of trust on her part. There will be more Gordon's in her life. She will be as faithful as a $2 whore. Now that's how much I trust her!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
1*

stupid wimpy shit.

JackmoftenJackmoftenover 6 years ago
NFW!

I'd of divorced the stupid wife in a "New York Minute"! Having absolutely no trust in me, I couldn't possibly stay married to her.

fisheronefisheroneabout 6 years ago
Disregard

When Betty discovered that Chesty would take dancing lessons rather than share his lady it set a precident. She agreed that dancing away from your date was not what she wanted. Then after marriage he tells her how much Gordon disrepects him and why she needs to stay away fron him. Then while on a date after marriage she leaves Chestys table while he was in bathroom and doesn't come back. This is the ultimate disrespect then doesn't want to go to husband's table which leads to a fight. Betty would probably been gone a week if I took her back. Your spouse deserves your respect especially when on a date

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
been there sort of

Years ago, I met my wife after work for an office party. Her department of phone company was welcoming a new manager. Years of observing others have allowed me to develop an almost perfect read on someone when first I meet them. I can honestly state my jerk-asshole meter is 100 per cent accurate. L was a big boisterous guy, 6 foot plus, 250plus pounds ex-college football who thought he was better looking than he was. I am not quite 5' 8'' but am muscular and ripped 180. Tall guys often have that randy newman song on their lips about short people. He sat at our table and was condescending to me while hitting on my wife and blatantly taking in her full, round 36C breasts. She also has extremely wide and long nipples that are tough to hide. She often places bandaids on them, always wears full coverage bra and shirt under her blouse.

As soon as he got up, I was warning my wife about him. Told her he was an asshole and would be hitting on her.

She thought I was nuts and told me how nice and charming he was. Admittedly, he was that and then some but then snakes usually are.

I reminded her about other times in the past when I was proven correct about people everyone else thought was so nice that were proven to be manipulative assholes.

I kept a close eye on him at office functions and afterwork get-togethers and made sure he had no alone time with my wife.

I also told my wife to keep a dated journal about comments and inappropriate contact at work. One day she came home flustered and I demanded to know what happened. She refused to tell me because she was afraid of what I would do. I told her I would be stopping by her office the next day and I would beat it out of another one of her colleagues who had a thing for my wife.

That threat broke the dam. Under L's leadership the males had been getting handsy with the females who felt powerless. That day one really wormy married guy had come up behing her and grabbed her breast and she turned around and slapped him. All the other guys knew I was a hod carrier for close to 20 years and had heard stories and seen what I had done to the few guys who had tried to make time with my wife. I guess they figured L would save them. L was bigger but he had gotten soft. That and when I see red it takes a lot to stop me.

I called the wife of the guy who grabbed mine and filled her in. Told her to tell her husband I would be seeing him soon.

Told my wife I was going in with her the next day but she begged me to give her a chance to handle it. Back in 1980s things were different. A woman filing complaint was looked on as troublemaker and often lost her job. HR departments and legal system didn't have rules and laws against such behavior. Where such were in place they were not usually enforced. The next morning she went to her boss' boss. His office was right next to her work area.

She presented him with her journal, told of being grabbed, and also all about numerous other incidents where other females had been touched. At my insistence she told him, he either reprimand L and the other men and put an immediate stop to it or I would be in the office the next day and I would do some groping of my own.

Other things were going on at phone company at same time. Cutbacks were coming and unless you attended 2 week training session you were out. Limited time to get trained and L made sure females knew he would decide who got training. Word was also out L was screwing married female in office LC.

The second level boss took my wife at her word. He knew me well and told her it would be nice if he could let me visit office and take care of problem.

Guys were reprimanded and reported up the chain. Second level boss informed everyone if they had any thoughts of retribution he would look other way when I dropped buy.

At get-togethers after that when my wife and I arrived two guys and wives got up and left

Nice guy L, who everyone except me was charmed by proved me right. L was not only caught by his wife having an affair, but it came out he had been molesting her 13 year old daughter for sometime.

He was arrested, charged, made bail, then closed garage door and kept car running.

Funniest thing. Upon news of his death some felt sorry for bastard. Not me!

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
NFW!

I'd divorced her in a heart beat for what she did.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
No Trust

I would have Divorced Her . For not Trusting Me. Trust is a main Part of Loving someone .. Without Trust can their be a Happy Marriage ? ..

Diecast1Diecast1over 2 years ago

Good story. AAA+++

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Great story - well written and developed

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This lack of trust is just too serious. A lowlife tells her something and it is automatically true. She doesn't even ask him.

I would not take her back without some groveling and counseling. It's well written, so 3/5. Would not read again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

LOL, she had to go research whether she should trust him and he was fine with it? She should know her husband is trustworthy without that AND shouldn't take the word of some guy she just met. He shouldn't keep her. Terrible.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Why the wife chose the bully rival over her husband is a mystery. Whats love got to do with it?

Anonymous
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