- All
Comments (28) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
A less than happy ending!
Good job sir! How can I complain about a less than happy ending? Very good story
Oddly weird...
Or weirdly odd. Who cares? It was a wild idea; something I would expect from you. :D Good luck!
Cookie :)
*blink*
I guess this is one of those lessons.... look before you leap..... you don't appreciate what you have until its gone... and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Always, E
Irony!
Ahhh the irony! This was great, and the bingo and mail order baseball cards were just simple touches of brilliance. I shivered appropriately at the ending! *goosebumps* Great job, good luck!
You're weird......
But oh so good!! :)
Good luck Sack.
Yup
That was whacked. The irony of it all. A perfect story with a great story line.
Good Luck!
He should have known
you can't go home again!
Sometimes the reality we have is better than the fantasy in our heads.
The real loser in this is Denise.
Nice job sack!
DARN IT!!
Sack! You're killing me......another great story ~ :)
~Honey
nicely done
Loved everything but the ending, but that's my opinion. Very well done!
Nice job!
Weird and wonderful...
just like you ; ) Best of luck!!
sadly creepy
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hated it/loved it. The ending was horrifyingly chilly.
I can hear Rod Serlings voice in the background
That was eerie.
Well Done
Well written tale of getting what we want, regardless of consequences. Different.
You're right, it is a dark tale
Sack:
You've written something very different and very good. There are a lot of moral lessons in it as witnessed by the various comments. I'll drop you a note. Thank You. Ronnie W.
Sorry this took so
long to do Sack, but I know you understand. You have a flare for horror, that was creepy and dark. The ending was perfect, there should not be a happily ever after in a story like this. You did yourself proud. Great job.
Great!
Just goes to show you beauty can be found anywhere if you just know where to look.
great story Sack,
Abs.
~~
Oh the price we pay for lies and vanity ~~
Quite a Christmas surprise
Sack,
Good story and surprise ending. I figured the twist would have something to do with her parents. My only problem was the doctor's incentive to knock him off and why do so to "Blair" while putting "Jack" on the death cert.
Rumple
A Dark Christmas
Great story, Sack. It was refreshing to see Denise fall for Jack just the way he was. I'm a bit confused, though. Why did the doctor kill Blair instead of just changing him back?
Creepy and Sexy
You do have a touch for the dark side--that deep place inside all of us where sex and need meld with fear and wonder.
Alicia
Funny what a guy will do for a woman!
The sad thing is I know people who would probably do something like this, if they had the money and it could be done!
You have to love morals and sex rolled together.
Twilight Zone Revisited
As one of your other comments says, all it lacks is the Rod Serling voiceover. Nice work!
Creepy
and good with the surprise ending. Like some others, though, I can't help wondering why it was necessary to kill him at the end and why the priest would have been in on it.
...
Great story :) I too was a bit confused by why the doctor decided to kill him off, but it worked. I loved the irony and the twist. Good job, sack :)
Looking forward to seeing u'r name on the winners list :)
Ali
Prolific
You are so prolific. I write one story and you write five. And, they are good like this one. Way to go. Again!
Alicia Night Orchid
Clever writing
A good script for a literotica Twilight Zone episode. Fun reading.
very good story!
I don't know why it took me so long to find this one, Sack. I loved it, tho...it felt like I was reading the script for an episode of Outer Limits. Good luck in the contest, and keep writing these!
A plus story.
I really liked your story. Short, sweet, and tragic. Perfect. Well-written, too, a rarity for this kind of story.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Reborn or
More submissions by sack.