Illiterate, ugly in tone, and completely unerotic. All in all, it seems like the product of a damaged mind and soul. Too bad: I hope you can get help.
by
11/26/05
Well...hmmm...I didn't like the first story
And not sure about that one, sounds like desperation to me. And for a sequel to the first, it carried the same dark tone. One thing though, they live next door to the Munsters?
by
Anonymous11/26/05
Wow, you blew it!
I doubt you were given permission to trash the story in such an embarassing way.
by
Anonymous11/26/05
Better than the First Story but still a fantasy!
You took a thumb sketch story and added flesh to Brenda's character. I did not like the story but my rating is based upon the quality of the writing.
I will not repeat my previous comments on the first story. Although you did a good job in building this sad character we have more questions than ever before. She says in the first story ..."I want it to be because we enjoy each other." She never stated that she loved Brad only that she was hurt because he cheated on her. She seems to resent the daughter and hang out with other cheating women.
So she listens to one of her friends and believes that her husband is cheating on her. She pulls this revenge stunt with the photo christmas card then she gets angry because the husband leaves (not kick her out) and imposes a restraining order on her. She commits assault on the cops and her husband who is the main breadwinner for the family. If he was doing anything with an underaged person then she would have given a hero's welcome instead of being thrown in jail.
Now she is angry with Andrea who informed her that it was all a mistake. A story from Brad's POV is in order.
SleeplessinMD
by
Anonymous11/26/05
Way better than the original...
In fact don't make any reference the original...which really sucked big time...
Change your story a bit..and it is a stand alone...
Brenda's inability to communicate and to justify her cheating was all that was needed..LOL
by
Anonymous11/29/05
It sucked!
The story is deeply misogynistic(the woman is presented as dumb, lacking in judgment and her poor background is presented as a key factor to inform us of her behavior and motivation shortcomings), mean spirited and poorly constructed. The first real trash stoty I have read by you.
you should never sit down and write a story when you bowls are bothering you.
don
by
Anonymous05/07/08
pretty bad for a fine writer
I've read and admired many of your stories, but this one is not up to your usual standard. It is not bad, it is just kind of pointless. I guess you matured after this story.
the Ct. Yankee
by
Anonymous12/12/09
i think if you put this in....
humor and satire you've got a winner! I'm amused that you write a story where a girl is low class and it's called misogynistic.i guess it's not misogyny to paint 'em all as pollyannas!
English
ooookkayy, i
liked it. a fan always.
Well, you pay your money and you take your chances
What was that little word she never learned in school? Oh yeah! Communication!
I enjoyed the story. I saw it as Carla setting her up so she could have her husband, but this works.
Hmm
That was quite a ride.
A total piece of shit
Illiterate, ugly in tone, and completely unerotic. All in all, it seems like the product of a damaged mind and soul. Too bad: I hope you can get help.
Well...hmmm...I didn't like the first story
And not sure about that one, sounds like desperation to me. And for a sequel to the first, it carried the same dark tone. One thing though, they live next door to the Munsters?
Wow, you blew it!
I doubt you were given permission to trash the story in such an embarassing way.
Better than the First Story but still a fantasy!
You took a thumb sketch story and added flesh to Brenda's character. I did not like the story but my rating is based upon the quality of the writing.
I will not repeat my previous comments on the first story. Although you did a good job in building this sad character we have more questions than ever before. She says in the first story ..."I want it to be because we enjoy each other." She never stated that she loved Brad only that she was hurt because he cheated on her. She seems to resent the daughter and hang out with other cheating women.
So she listens to one of her friends and believes that her husband is cheating on her. She pulls this revenge stunt with the photo christmas card then she gets angry because the husband leaves (not kick her out) and imposes a restraining order on her. She commits assault on the cops and her husband who is the main breadwinner for the family. If he was doing anything with an underaged person then she would have given a hero's welcome instead of being thrown in jail.
Now she is angry with Andrea who informed her that it was all a mistake. A story from Brad's POV is in order.
SleeplessinMD
Way better than the original...
In fact don't make any reference the original...which really sucked big time...
Change your story a bit..and it is a stand alone...
Brenda's inability to communicate and to justify her cheating was all that was needed..LOL
It sucked!
The story is deeply misogynistic(the woman is presented as dumb, lacking in judgment and her poor background is presented as a key factor to inform us of her behavior and motivation shortcomings), mean spirited and poorly constructed. The first real trash stoty I have read by you.
well now you know
you should never sit down and write a story when you bowls are bothering you.
don
pretty bad for a fine writer
I've read and admired many of your stories, but this one is not up to your usual standard. It is not bad, it is just kind of pointless. I guess you matured after this story.
the Ct. Yankee
i think if you put this in....
humor and satire you've got a winner! I'm amused that you write a story where a girl is low class and it's called misogynistic.i guess it's not misogyny to paint 'em all as pollyannas!
no
There is no excuse for illiteracy...
Fair
I read both tales. It just seemed that she was ready to cheat. So she did. And the husband didn't. Oh well, prison for you, cheating cunt.
HA
Ouch angry Bitch does Dallas!
She was pushed and ignored to death heh -
Cheated maybe did he? seems likely - he certainly set himself up to seem far more guilty than innocent -
Great job with the woman's view in this one though -
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