confession

a nice economy of words

but the poem felt too analytical to really draw me into the poem. I think trim the analysis and it will be much more intense... for instance


emotionally bound
by your
commands
in my mind

every cell
of my body
responds
with trembling
rushes

desires
of the
flesh
anticipate
the worst;

expect you
will deliver
the best
sensations

cerebral tension
separates
your rigid warmth
from my wet
void

I think with revisions like these, you will present the essence of the experience, heightening the interest of the reader, drawing the reader into the experience.

jim : )