A Double Standard 'Revisited'

One more step

The only way to really end this loser, is for the other three one after the other to blow their brains out.

Geez, tough crowd! However,great Job DG!

What you proved in your very strong ending is that first and above all you write FICTION – stories, and not moral essays. Yes, in the background all stories are informed by the same dilemmas we all struggle with (or else the story would not speak to us). But when push comes to shove - the most important features in a story are those that make it seem alive -that the characters seem as if they are a unique couple with their particular traits habits and weaknesses - the way only spouses can know each other. And boy, did you press this very point home!
At the end, I believe, the main message of the story was that in each couples life, the main problems and the way they resolve or deteriorate, isn't so much about general gender profiles. At the end - it's the unique universe each couple creates for itself. As you have shown -appearances to the outer world could be very misleading, and with enough outside intervention even the partners can forget who their partner really is... But here the husband reconstructed their history and realized that people can't really change their basic temperament.
This was a brilliant narrative not only in terms of the angle it chose to focus on, but just as much in terms of its artistic qualities. I can't remember the last time I have 'endured" that many twists and surprises in one story - all carried out with sound explanation.
Yes, I too did not like the particular ending the husband chose. But I doubt it was meant to please anyone. That’s beside the point. The relevant question is was it an organic outgrowth of the previous developments? I have no problem seeing it as at least one very probable ending. All who argue against this ending on moral grounds simply miss the point. This is NOT a moral essay. Fictional characters like the husband’s, DO NOT - at least not automatically - represent the author’s view on conflict resolution, or anything else fot that matter…. Trust me on this one!
A reminder: from the start the explicit premise of the story was the moral imperfection –at least of the husband. The husband/narrator acknowledges as much. He did not beat himself in the past for his straying, but when confronted, he was willing to change his ways. Not a saint and not a monster.
As far as the emotional reaction associated with his final revenge - it is highly doubtful that this kind of a decision was a product of cold premeditated plan. Rather, it was a desperate reaction to the discoveries which were unfolding - one on top of the other, way beyond his initial suspicions. Eventually he simply lost it.
Now we can simply sit and judge its "appropriateness" from the convenience of our detached position as readers. Our subjective emotional reaction may be inevitable as it is irrelevant to the quality of the story. For sure, it’s one of the luxuries that reading fiction affords us. Great job DG!

A very good ending, despite the pc crowd.

I dont believe in suicide but this gives the two women and the asshole something to explain to the police, their families, and thier children. Personally I would have preferred he take the younger sister and leave the other two to themselves. The wife was a real piece of work, pure out and out trash.

ok?

i liked the story and her personality made a difference, suddenly it made it more likely. THEN it turns out she is lonely and just going after those others? the net effect is the same, affairs with harry's 'friends'. so much for the victim status for her. THE ENDING i quibble with. are those people wirth dying for? i think not. her 'guilt' versus being the poor widow with the marital assets? harry should have just left them all, even with the financial things with divorce. no one [except betty] was seeminly w/o fault, but his death was unnecessary.

Maybe

I saw the ending coming way ahead. The only thing he did was possibly get himself some relief. His wife could recover and they could tell whatever lie they wanted. She could even still do Steve? I don't see any real final revenge here. Maybe I'm blind. He was a hypocrite and he and his wife deserved each other. Staying alive and tormenting each other would have been more of a revenge.

you jackass

the only part that was remotely good was that he didnt trust that she never got any kind of revenge during all the yrs she knew what a man whore he was. it was going good until you got to the vengeful part because in no way did you portray her in that light in your first chapter. it made sense though, i mean think about it, if she knew about for yrs adn yrs, why didnt she say something? why wait till its thrown in her face? in case anyone is wondering, yes, there is a double standard and yes, people are quick to dish out advice but rarely listen to it. i mean fuck, we all know what a bastard he is but it stands to reason the moment he knew the gig was up, he would have tried to minimize the damage, by leaving his job, moving, etc if he wanted to stay married. and the whole dirty whore of a wife scenario seemed a bit much, along with killing himself, wtf was that shit? in a way, that was letting them win because he offed himself. the best revenge is to move on with his life by finding someone better and having a loving life. of course, thats after beating the shit out of wifeys lover and banging some chick just so he can rub it in her face.haha

Sorry again you took the cute way out

You telegraphed the ending well ahead of doing it. No sane man kills himself, it would have been much easier to gut shoot all of them then kill himself. No woman is worth what this man lived thru. Take Houston, if you divorce a bitch you have roughly 2 million women to chose from, why get upset over one........

I like it

He should have send letters to his family explaining his motives.I do not condone suicide, but thinking all of his friends are laughling behind his back...it´s too much!Hey DGHear, you could do an aftermath, with him surviving the shoot, after 2 years of coma.

oh!

OH! where is "the rest of the story?"

Watta Nut Job!

Hypocritical bastard shoulda killed himself before he reproduced.

Bullets

I hope he left plenty of bullets in the gun, so the three of them could replicate his stupidity.

Not good

A permanent end to a temporary problem.

Thank Goodness... Johngalt2300@yahoo.com

Well...if anyone had to die you chose the right one. What an egotistical, selfish, arrogant bastard. So what if the wife and brother in law had a long running affair. Harry is the one who started it all with his philandering ways. The revenge his wife got was after the fact. OK, so maybe she had some adulterous fantasies about her brother in law bouncing around in her head, and OK, so after realizing her "faithful" hubby wasn't going to change his evil ways so she callously decides to get even and ends up going "all the way". Tough fucking shit for good ole Harry. He is the cheating bastard who started it all. Would Mariam have given in to her secret lust for Steve if Harry had been half the man you want to portray him as. Who hasn't looked at a sister or brother in law and felt some erotic twinges. Mariam was just looking until Harry proved his unworthiness. He's a rotten fucker who is lucky his wife decided to cheat on him for revenge instead of taking his lying ass to the cleaners years ago. No sympathy for Harry from me. You make your bed, now lay in it, or in this case, your coffin.

Than I took the pistol, put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger.

I suppose the gun didn't go off since he couldn't then have written the story.

Great ending -

Very nice - totally predictable about half way through - but very nice.

It is a very thought provoking series of ideas -

1. Is there any difference in what the husbands and wives did?

One husband was a dishonorable schmuck - he cheated he was dead wrong - but it was almost guaranteed to never put the wife in a compromising position or subject her open humiliation (almost guaranteed)

One wife took, felt betrayed and betrayed her spouse in return. In an act of revenge (a personal attack on her mate) and held the husband up to ridicule by fucking his friends where it would be seen by all.

One husband betrayed his wife and best friend and took advantage of a vulnerable and vengeful woman who was also his friend and used her for his pleasure for years - humiliating the friends his wife and exposing himself as having no honor.

One wife accepted the betrayal by her husband and her own sister, got past it even if harboring anger and resentment. She "allowed" herself to be used and got her revenge only when forced to.

I see only one person with any integrity in the whole group

2. What did the "solution" do?

It places all the survivors in the position of dealing with his actions while he ran away and hid in the ultimate fashion. He abandoned the only quality person in the group to survive this in the middle of the other 2 low lives.

So on top of all his other shining qualities he was a coward.

NEAT I do like the way you write - good writing provokes thought, controversy, conversation and challenges the reader. The responses suggest you did just that good work

Thanks

A four

For the bravery of adding suicide to the story.

It was a bit contrived. I can't see Betty being able to do that. Scared women are dry. If she was scared, she wouldn't be able to perform.

Also, I can't believe Steve didn't try something. Running. Fighting. Nope.

Additionally, they were 50 for god's sakes! Betty would not go into details of 'Miriam was saying 'Fuck me, Steve, fuck me.' as a character. She would say, as a discrete woman of a certain age "I caught them in an intimate moment together and we had a huge argument."

So fewer points

I get now why I don't like this story nearly as much

It is the author 'gotcha'. Best mocked in 'Murder by Death', it discussed how mystery writers of a certain era brought in some person from far left field who didn't get introduced until the last second to fill in for the murderer. The reader never got a chance to figure out the mystery because the facts were withheld from their analysis.

No. Miriam's propensity for vengence blindsided me. In no way was I expecting that, so the story seemed to be made of the whole cloth. I was waiting for the aliens next. (Just kidding, but you get what I mean)

I didn't have a chance to figure out the story because I wasn't given enough facts. Not that guessing a story should be a goal. But adding character elements at the last moment breaks Suspension of Disbelief with me, in the same manner that having a nice demure, religious, serious mother of three suddenly, at the glimpse of a Big Black Cock, suddenly becomes Slutzilla.

This was nowhere near as bad, but it wasn't good.

a waste

For him to shoot himself, rather than find and enjoy something away from them. Steve'sgot his own 2x standard. Better to just go away with betty and start anew as he may.

Suicide is a sign of extreme hate...

Hate for yourself, hatred for others. A very selfish act. I would never commit suicide unless I was clinically depressed, at least that is what I think now.

I did like the story. I did not read the first part because the writer said there was little sex. I have had enough trauma today.

Bad ending

I would like you to come up with a better ending than this. This was lame.

Damn

And I just made a comment on the first part of you story. Not fair that you waited to paint Miriam as a whore too. Your choice DG. I give up. I suppose the House Republicans will change their pledge as well... Can't count on anyone to not talk out of both sides of their mouth when spinning a story...Huh?

Ending?

Seriously what the point if Harry killing himself. It not revenge with suicide. Also he the one who cheated first. If he cannot accept she cheating on him what about her accepting he cheated on her for 30 years.
Also it only count as revenge if someone did something to you when you did not deserve it. In this case Harry did deserve it. If he wanted to kill himself then goes for it, but the one who ruin everyone lives is him. In the end he only prove he a coward, a rapist, unfaithful husband, and an asshole. He never deserve a wife like mariam

CHRiS over here!

I wont be coming
back so don't hold your
fucking breath
You know what you've
done no need to go in
depth
I told you, you'd be sorry if
I fucking left
Id laugh while you wept
Hows it feel now, yeah,
funny ain't it, you
neglected me
Did me a favor although
my spirit free you've set
But a special place for you
in my heart I have kept
It's unfortunate but it's

Wow

Damn.... Well that uhhhhh..... Damn.... Right over my head.... Just damn.... I hope my life never gets that weird.... I mean shit, wow, damn, and I don't know why but I burst out laughing reading this part. Anyway great writing keep up the interesting work.

Twisted...Not.

I won't say it was twisted end, because the flow and sense of the story pretty well dictated something wasn't right with Harry. As the author, you might not have consciously been aware of how it was going to end, but I bet you had a good inkling. Anyway, it was a surprisingly enjoyable read.

I understand

He is a salesman and the most important thing is his self worth and bravado. He finally gets what he wants but it is of no value to him as he will be divorced with no family to come home to each night. He will still be laughed at, although every day now instead of half of the time.

Excellently written flawed character.

WHEN YOU GO

always do it with style and grace. TK U MLJ LV NV

APPLAUSE!

He did the correct thing for revenge but I think if I was going to kill myself I would have killed Steve and Miriam first. I guess they will be shamed before the police and their children so maybe this way was best. This punishment is probably best.

1*

No way they would have confessed. In any event, it was good that he killed himself since is was criminally insane.,

DWormcock is so stupid

she locked herself out of her motorcycle

The suicide is a stupide thing. He is an older man he should divorce his wife and look for a merry widow an same older divorced lady etc. The best revange a newer mate instead of the earlier.

WOW

Talk about twists! I loved it and am damn glad I read it.

I found it hard to reconcile the fact that the story was told in the past tense, but the narrator killed himself at the end of it.

paybacks a bitch

PAY OFFS WORSE, AND THEN YOU DIE. TK U MLJ LV NV

Screwed Up

Jeez that was a hell of an ending I still stand by comments from chapter 1. Harry was still the asshole. He cheated, Miriam got revenge by doing the same. He couldn't stand that he was a cuckold but didn't care what he did to Miriam. So he took the next step. HE BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT.

Typical coward jerkoff asshole.
The world is better off without him.

FUCK

Well

Your ending was much more dramatic than mine... lol. That's what makes stories interesting and that's why you're a writer and I'm not. Plus, hey, the ending lived up to the title.

Tornado

This story is now twistier than a tornado. Cannot say I liked it, but it IS interesting. Re: Anon who points out that a suicide wrote the story after blowing his head apart, two comments...did the tale sound like someone with a brain wrote it? (lol) ... And, have you never heard of a 'ghost-writer?'

Fuck You

What a doofus.

Just stupid.

Not interesting. Not entertaining. Not, not, not.

Writer just had brain cramps; twisted brain cramps.

This is stupid

"The ultimate revenge." That's just a buntch of shit .Fuck !!!

ROFLMAO - nice shot

To fucking funny - yup perfect ending for the posers out there heh

Flawed - of course they just lie about why he did it - not risk at all -

BUT did you get the readers back - yupper shore diid lol

I like it!

The good old suicide card trumps 'em all; problem is, you can't play it very often...

Nice one!

First of all, Calm the Fuck Down People. IT'S A FUCKING STORY!!! And not far fetched at that. I thought it was really good. Keep on writing!

I'm not sure how it constitutes revenge, raping a woman at gunpoint until she asks for it, then blowing your head off afterwards. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for the cheating bastard and rapist, let alone a cheating slut.

#2 HE HAD ALL THE ANSWERS EXCEPT ONE

and now it will never be. TK U MLJ LV NV

Dude

you are harsh. love it. 5

Second Comment

I got it wrong on my first comment. Re-reading the tale I realised the wife cheated with everyone and while the husband had one night stands while away at work, she cheated with all his friends and brother-in-law.
There is no varying degrees of cheating but my first comment only condemned Harry and not his wife. I correct that now in saying they were both cheating assholes but now only the wife has to explain to the kids why their father killed himself.

Don't cheat

loved it

I love a story with a happy ending. But I love a story with a sad ending better.

I must be sick

I like this sad tale.
LMAO the best line in the story is "I pistol whipped him again just because I wanted to." The guy just went power mad. The players in this story were a sad sack. Man whores, woman whores unfaithful POS that should never have got married.
Wanderingaimlessly

I really wish you'd left this alone

The open ending of the original story may have left loose ends dangling, but this frantic 'tidying up' strangles the narrative and leaves every character diminished.