All Comments on 'Wife's First Affair'

even if i wanted to be cheated on if i wasn't getting everything they are it would be over.

Illiterate trash.

Oh man, this was really poor. Please try getting an editor, if you can find anyone willing to read your stuff because besides the poor grammar, this story was below standards as well.

Dear oh Dear,

This seems to be your first story. I hope it's not going to be a one-hit wonder, you have a knack of propelling the story line, the trick of fore-telling detail, and then the story ' bringing out' that detail is an attractive lure.

But, dear friend, Please oh Please have your story edited.

Congratulations! Against stiff opposition, you have won the prize for the all time worst story!

In fact, there is no story. And the writing! You really need to get your dick out of your hand and go back to school (if you ever went in the first place).

If it was possible to rate this at -100, I would.

Don't let the other comments dissuade you from continuing in this unique literary styling. What rap is to music, you are to erotic literature! Perhaps this is the start of a trend that will catch on like wildfire with the other authors who find themselves constrained by the rules of grammar and spelling. Keep it up! Crank out stories of this avante-garde form....but don't quit your day job just yet!

My hat is off! Who knew badness could elevate itself into pure art? Keep 'em coming!

"Jenny then turned her head to john and said fuck my ass you barsted"

Writer, please read your story before posting. It is evident you need to post to your own countrymen. Your first language is obviously not English. Small children in grade K-4 have better sentence structure and spelling than you.

Get an editor and for god's sake, don't give up your day job.

watching two men fuck their whore who is your wife,no protection and you till sleep with the tramp.why you telling us, you need to get a woman of your own,because she belongs to the two men she whoring for.have make burial arrangment for aids kills you wimpy fuck of a man.

poorly written. weak english.

Thanks for writing. The subject matter guarantees you quite a few flames, so don't get too discouraged. See about a volunteer editor.

There was really no dramatic element to this story. We do not really hear any reaction from the husband. What does he feel when he sees his wife with a not-so-ex lover? What does he feel when she does things for him which hubby has not experienced? Does he find her smoking exciting? What about the second lover? Does that shock or excite him?

Please try to anticipate what the reader may be wondering as the story goes along. Not that you have to please the reader, but you could at least tease!

very poor wuss hubby also ... get some balls and try again

Forget the speeling - lets try to improve your beeg cock watching - first don't ever tell your wife you love to watch her fuck dozens of beeg cocks cuz she will think you are a sick subhuman pitiful scumbag and only love humiliation not her swollen cunt.

Gee thats a beeg problem working behind the scenes - so convince her you have always wanted a second job just to occupy your extra time. Tell her you have always wanted to be a pimp watcher of beeg cocks but have only got 18 whores now and suddenly need one who will do some 86 aboriginies as your other whores are somewhat intelligent and won't do more than three at a time - whatza a pimp to do you ask - the pimpmobile funding can be in be beeg trouble as insubordination in the ranks can be beeg trouble.

When she volenteers to be the big cunt in the pigsty make sure you tell her the kids and neighbors have asked for a copy of the video as they just know bastard babies will result sooner or later besides who doesn't want to know a neighborhood cuckster wife whore dripping with cum.

So pump it up cuckster - beeger cocks to watch and suck them up for her - fluffem good - then settle back to lick her clean and suck them back up for the next whole. This is getting exciting eh.

Say - was Austrailia a British Colony? - you got any bastard kin from the U.K. as cuckstering appears to be spredding the wives of many watcher wimps as bait to see and handle beeg hemungus cocks. No vaccine yet butt they are cocksure working on them.

writer - go away and cum back after you visit the wizzard for some respect and a brain - writing courses aren't optional although the real jaded sicko's don't much care as long as they feel frustratingly and lowly humiliated eh mate holder!! Get some help little sick one!!!!

This is my story on how I first seen my wife fucked another man. This is your first line and it goes downhill from there.

The line should have read This is my story on how I fiorst SAW my wife fucked BY another man...

Man get it together rather thatn punish us all

This story is intentionally bad. It's what we called, years ago, camp. It's like some comedian doing an immitation of an immigrant. It's written as comedy. But I didn't laugh.

The subject matter & story were fine. the grammer was lousy

lots of run on sentances. Keeping trying, maybe have someone check your submission or proof read it before you submit.

Your comment would carry more weight if you knew the word is spelled grammar.

The worst story ever written.

You need to get your brain outa your little head and back into your big one.

You need to get your brain outa your little head and back into your big one.

How anonymous people can be so discriptive in their comments? (sarcasm for some of you, i doubt you would notice it on its own)

If you didn't like the story, why did you even finish it? It wasn't the best written story but it was a start. If you can't be constructive at least don't be destructive.

I agree with the sane people who have posted. Good start but you need an editor. At least someone who can read your story and give a second opinion on story line. Definitely wouldn't hurt to at least have someone check the basic mechanics of spelling and grammar.

I hope you try again.

You try to write in English while your brain is in another language and your mind just got flushed down the toilet.

as bad as they say. These assholes who make negative comments are just here to sabotage the site and discourage people who never wrote before from writing.

Keep writing when you feel like it. I like your fantasies!!!

Goosiepg:

Contrary to a previous comment, this story is REALLY bad. As William Hung is to singing, you are to writing erotica. While I don't care for the subject matter, my main complaint is with how horribly this story is written. It's difficult to know where to begin. Verb tenses are incorrect; punctuation is sadly lacking; sentences are awkwardly constructed; etc. I'm assuming that English is not your primary language. I recommend that for future submissions you seek an editor who is fluent in English and who has a knowledge of the rules of grammar.

Best of luck.

That cheating wife and a whore i hope the husband got pictures and confronted her then divorced her ass.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga.

But close. You need to learn english.

sorry this just did not go anywhere

Not sexy. Written in haste (obviously), with grammatical errors my third grader wouldn't commit. Spelling? Heard of it? Just terrible overall.

Stupid

Another story like too many others. Husband sees his wife is a slut and does nothing. He just remains a wimp and accepts that he is now no longer the man Why would a normal man stay in a relationship that is so one sided. Really?

That’s undoubtedly because of the terrible writing. Your grammar is third grade hillbilly. “I seen”? You are in desperate need of an editor to make you seem a bit more intelligent. You really need a lot of help with your writing. The purpose of erotica is not to have as much fucking and sucking as possible. The idea is to tell an interesting story about a sexual subject. Your story totally lacked interesting action. Read more of the popular authors on this site, you’ll get the idea, I hope.

Rubbish

Either hubby should talk about her fucking other guys while fucking her himself OR divorce the cheating lying whore. 6 stars

I just love it when these lousy writers write the same shit, that the husband does not get cum swallowing or ass fucking, which the slut freely does for another. Loving wife???? LMFAO

I think the author needs to learn to spell, how to punctuate a sentence, and to publish his story some where else. He is very ignorant.